Gay and lesbians who have lost partners


Gay and lesbians who have lost partners

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Looking for people who can understand my loss

Started by Amanda. Last reply by Ellen Kotler Feb 22. 9 Replies

Hello, my name is Amanda. I lost my partner over 3 years ago. It was a sudden and unexpected loss. I'm still grieving and struggling with it. I came on here hoping to find people who could understand…Continue


Started by April Fiorillo. Last reply by Care Johnson Feb 21. 2 Replies

Lost my ex girlfriend to cancer and a brain aneurysm and it burst. Was with her many years, having a very hard time moving forward. You see she called me and died on the phone while we were talking,…Continue

Another Excellent Group is now on Facebook

Started by Robert Davis. Last reply by Pauline Overton Nov 4, 2018. 2 Replies Last year, one of the folks here, Niel, was looking for a more responsive and easier…Continue

He saved me - now he's gone who will save me now?

Started by robert j crowley. Last reply by Pauline Overton Nov 4, 2018. 20 Replies

I already know the textbook answer is that "I must save myself."  So for me those text book answers seem so impossible.  in June of 2007 I met Richard - and we were never apart until he passed on…Continue

Tags: alone, desperate, Lost

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Comment by eric johnson on August 15, 2015 at 1:19am
And Steven case I haven't mentioned it before I'm truly sorry for your loss I'm glad you were there every day for him I'm sure he really appreciated that and so did you
Comment by eric johnson on August 15, 2015 at 1:18am
But thank you Steve I do agree left this world knowing I loved him and that means to world of difference to me
Comment by eric johnson on August 15, 2015 at 1:17am
But that's the thing I knew he was going to die that night I've been with him for 14 hours 15 hours and I knew it was coming I just didn't want to wait anymore probably because at one point he woke up gave me five kisses pulled me close and said I love you and that was how I wanted to remember him but yet still I wish I stayed till the end
Comment by Steve Feldman on August 15, 2015 at 1:11am

Eric, You were not with your beloved when he actuaklly  passed because you, like I, could not foresee the possibility that he would go so unexpectedly.  He was always waitng for me when I came to vsit him yet another day.  I did not stay the night with my spouse just before he died but got a call from medical staff in the ICU in the AM that he has rapidly failing. I rushed to the hospital to be with him. So he died in my arms. But he was comatose and I do not know if he sensed I was witrh him. All I could do was hold him tightly until ICU staff led me away. I whispered to him how much I loved him and it was okay to let go; to enter eternal rest and peace. I felt his life slip away. He had put up such a valiant fight against Leukemia for 10 months and suddenly he was gone. You cannot feel guilt but must hold all wonderful memories of your happy lives together in  your mind to sustain you and keep his memory alive. He lives on in your mind. I am sure you were in his thoughts while he was still lucid and he knew of your total love and devotion and left this world knowing that.

Comment by eric johnson on August 15, 2015 at 12:49am
I want to know why I feel so guilty. Guilty for not being there the very moment he died, guilty for not sleeping at the hospice every night and guilty I wasn't there to hold his hand when he passed. I just spent 15 hours there so why do I feel so guilty?
Comment by J Greene on August 12, 2015 at 5:26am
Sorry for your loss. My spouse passed away January 10th 2015. This passed month or so has been worse than when it first happened. I've started reading books on grief support, and will be getting back into grief support this month, along with seeing my therapist again. Have you tried grief therapy? I have realized, what someone told me when he first passed away. People will say some very hurtful things, because DEATH is a very uncomfortable subject, even though it's a part of life.
Comment by Michelle Robledo on August 11, 2015 at 6:52pm

Hi my name is Michelle and I lost my girlfriend Esther Gonzales to Cervical Cancer in November of 2011. I still have a hard time when I miss her. I think of her, I dream of her all the time. She spent the last week of her life away from me. Her mom took her away from me because in Oklahoma they did not honor the same sex common law system. She chose to leave wih her family. That's what hurt the most. To this day I still cry about that being her decision. We promised each other forever. Can someone help me with closure...cause this wound that is still open and hurts like heck is still very much open.

Comment by Nancy Kennedy on August 4, 2015 at 11:16am

Bernadette: Welcome to the group! I've been on this site since 2012 when my partner of 28+ years passed from aortic dissection Type III; an inoperable heart condition that she might have had her whole life. Since then, a lot has happened when I thought life wouldn't go on. After her lost, I had to deal with Alzheimer's with both my parents who died respectively in 2014 & this year. But, I also found a new partner with whom to spend my retirement years. She, too, had a partner who passed way too early. Just take everything slowly; one day at a time. Your love for your partner will never end as you hold they key to remembrance. Nanc 

Comment by Bernadette Denommee on August 4, 2015 at 10:29am
Is anyone there? My wife passed four months ago of cancer and I've had no one to share or talk to.
Comment by David Simpson on January 27, 2015 at 9:53am

I am so sorry for you loss.I grew up in OOB,now live in Gorham.My husband died on October 5 2014 of congestive heart failure.


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