Gay and lesbians who have lost partners


Gay and lesbians who have lost partners

Who is there for us??

Members: 213
Latest Conversations: May 7

We are family!

Discussion Forum


Started by Tony Przybyla. Last reply by Kevin Dadouses Apr 18. 1 Reply

lost my partner of  42 yrs last may.  still hurts and this stay at home isolates even more. hard to move forward but am trying.  have been out of touch w/ gay community for last 15-20 yrs...due to…Continue

Looking for people who can understand my loss

Started by Amanda. Last reply by Amy Bartola Sep 3, 2019. 10 Replies

Hello, my name is Amanda. I lost my partner over 3 years ago. It was a sudden and unexpected loss. I'm still grieving and struggling with it. I came on here hoping to find people who could understand…Continue


Started by April Fiorillo. Last reply by Care Johnson Feb 21, 2019. 2 Replies

Lost my ex girlfriend to cancer and a brain aneurysm and it burst. Was with her many years, having a very hard time moving forward. You see she called me and died on the phone while we were talking,…Continue

Another Excellent Group is now on Facebook

Started by Robert Davis. Last reply by Pauline Overton Nov 4, 2018. 2 Replies Last year, one of the folks here, Niel, was looking for a more responsive and easier…Continue

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Gay and lesbians who have lost partners to add comments!

Comment by Michael Reikowsky on August 16, 2013 at 3:08pm
Hi Carl & everyone else...
I agree - I miss the hugs, the holding hands, the little things the most. My Danny was a very loving and gentle man. He gave the warmest hugs. Platonic between finds and those between us. I miss his soft touch, the way he would push the hair out of my eyes and tell me it was time for a Haircut. Lol

I am sorry or your loss. I'm sorry for all of our losses. I am grateful for the friendships extended here. It helps to be able to talk and not worry that pronouns will upset people.

Even with all the positive change happening for marriage equality, tolerance (I really do hate that word).... I still, at times, feel that's great for others, too late for me... I lost the best part of me when Danny passed on. I try to go on as I know he would of wanted, but its a dily challenge.

One step forward, to stps back. Ya know?
Comment by Carl Schatz on August 16, 2013 at 2:41pm

Thank you John

For me it seems the most difficult part is that I haven't got someone close enough that will hold me and give me a big hug. I'm lacking the close companionship that a human person could give. Mostly I miss Franks warm body beside me. Nothing can ever replace that.

Thank you for the encouraging words.


Comment by Carl Schatz on August 16, 2013 at 11:40am

Thank you very much Nancy. You have a big heart. All kind words make a difference.


Comment by Nancy Kennedy on August 16, 2013 at 10:40am

Carl: My heart is with you, having lost in March 2012 my partner of 28+ years. I honestly didn't think I could go on but the higher power had me get up & tend to other things like two elderly parents in their 90s with dementia. I could feel her with me. So, too, Frank is there. And, here are people who understand. Your circle has become bigger because of Frank. Peace! Nancy                                                     

Comment by Carl Schatz on August 16, 2013 at 10:30am

I just lost the love of my life of 30 years. Frank died in the hospital after a long illness. We don't have any close friends with us any more and there is no support group for this in our area. I'm hurting very bad need someone to share with.


Comment by Scott on July 17, 2013 at 5:33pm

Hi Everyone.  Dave, my partner of 13 years died in my arms here at home from liver cancer that was diagnosed in February.  I'm profoundly grateful that even though it was so quick he didn't have so many of the awful symptoms that can accompany that disease.  He was so darn stoic though and never said much of anything must likely because he didn't want me to worry (like that wasn't going to happen!)  My Mom died in January but losing your partner sure brings up different emotions, thoughts, and fears.  We both felt really fortunate that everyone we came in contact with from the doctors to nurses to the hospice team to even the mortician were extremely supportive and understanding and we didn't have to deal with any bigotry that I know happens with other folks.

His being gone does hurt and leave a huge void.  I'm also realizing how much he did around the house, yard, and the vehicles.  I have zero skill and those areas and that really has been an additional stress. 

Trying to just take time to grieve and think.  Want to continue forward and will take him with me into whatever life has planned for me until we meet up again but right now, I still don't know what my purpose really is.  A friend said it pretty well I thought - "sounds like you are adrift and you see the shore but you can't find the harbor and the moorings.  I hope I do in time.  

Thanks for listening.


Comment by Sandy Smith on July 17, 2013 at 3:29pm
I write for Mary Ann. Wish I could get 1.4 million hits......course it would have to be a bit more progressive than this.....sigh.....
Comment by Sandy Smith on July 17, 2013 at 3:16pm
As I wish Mary Ann was here to share.....but you and I both know that Danny and Mary Ann share every moment of every day with us!
Comment by Michael Reikowsky on July 17, 2013 at 12:48pm
Thanks Sandy. I have to believe in a greater purpose. Otherwise nothing at all makes sense.

Besides... For the 15 years together.... We had a plan.... We experienced life, we travelled, we lived! We squeezed a lifetime of adventures into the time we were allowed together.

Maybe it's time to start telling our stories.... All of us. They need to be told. It's a changing world.

Have you heard that new song, "All-American Boy" by Steve Grand? He's a22-yr old singer from Chicago that wrote, performed, and made a music video of his song and threw caution to the wind and released it on YouTube on July 4th.... Went viral with over 1.4 million hits in the first week. Brave kid. And it's a great song with a great message. Seems like all of America is listening... Gay and straight.

Gives me hope for a future worth living. Just wish Danny was here to share it with me.
Comment by Paul Bowers on July 17, 2013 at 12:44pm

Hi Michael

I really understand your feelings and emotions at this point.  It is still very raw at times, and I think this is a loss no one truly "gets over".

We simply learn how to keep moving on without our partners.  They never leave our thoughts though, and that brings peace to me.  I dont know about you, but I have had several incidences where I feel I have felt Mikes presence so clearly.  Just the other day, I had a really amazing thing happen.  I was out in the back yard and getting ready to mow, and as I filled up the the mower up with gas, I was thinking how much Mike used to do yard work, while I would rather do other things.

I had just started the mower, when all of a sudden, a HUGE butterfly landed on my shoulder and continued to stay there for approximately 10 minutes while I continued to mow, and it never moved.  I turned my head to face the butterfly, told Mike I knew it was him, and that I loved him with all my heart.  With that, the butterfly flew away, but not before he circled my body several times.

Honor your loved one any way you can. They are here with us, and we will will meet again. Healing and prayers to you.


Members (213)


Latest Conversations

Profile IconMoris Niknam, Fran Sherrell, esther and 5 more joined LegacyConnect
17 hours ago
Fran Sherrell liked Fran Sherrell's profile
esther updated their profile
Mary. Jane commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses

Community Guidelines

Please be respectful of others. For more information, read our Community Guidelines.

Follow Legacy

© 2020   Created by   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service