It is so hard to comprehend, I read your post and I feel the same way, only losing my Mother 15 months ago. My Dad has been gone for 12 years, I go back over and over my life! I wonder if happiness true happiness will be with me. I often wish I had a sister but I have a brother and he loves me. But he doesn't grieve like I do, maybe because he has a family and is a hard worker. He doesn't have the time to think about the lose. I wake up thinking about Mom, I have a hard time going through her things! Where he just throws them out, not even thinking its a part of her. I quess we all grieve differantly, I just feel very alone in this world...hoping we all find peace in knowing we will meet them again someday!