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Comment by Graceann on August 21, 2009 at 8:19pm

Gloria,
That first year is like milestones that you don't want to endure, the first Christmas without him, the first wedding anniversary without him, on and on until you really don't want the days to pass by, but they do! And the nights just drag on. It's strange how you can be around people and still feel so totally and utterly alone.

Comment by Gloria on August 20, 2009 at 4:50pm

I lost my husband of 45 years to lung cancer on Thanksgiving of 2008. Needless to say I'm not looking forward to the holiday this year. He lived 5 months after being diagnosed. I have been through so many emotions and sometimes I feel as though I am going backwards instead of forwards. I have only now been able to put away his wallet that he always kept on the dresser, plus his keys, glasses, etc. All his things in the bathroom are still there. All his clothes are still where he left them. Maybe one day I will be able to pack them away, but never get rid of them. We never thought he would die, he told me we would celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary. I started keeping a journal when we first found out about the cancer. I still write in it, sometimes it hurts too bad to write. I wish I had found this site a long time ago. It really helps to talk about things, but not many people want to talk or listen. Thanks for being there.

Comment by Sharon Stricklen on August 19, 2009 at 12:57pm

Hi Graceann, its Sharon, doing ok today, as far as ok can be that is. I did find your blog and read it, how nice. I have a ledger I started when carl was first diagnosed with cancer and I find that it helps a great deal to write down your feelings

Comment by Graceann on August 17, 2009 at 8:33pm

Good Evening Everyone,
Hope you are all finding some peace. I'm here if you want or need to talk. I'm sorry I haven't added to my blog as quickly as I had hoped, but work has been very busy. I'm hoping for time tomorrow. Take care

Comment by Graceann on August 13, 2009 at 5:21pm

Sharon, I am so sorry. I won't lie to you and say it gets better quick, it doesn't. It hurts more than I ever thought I could hurt. I never knew a person could cry so much. So much of the time I felt like I was existing not living. I would ask people I knew that had lost a spouse how they got thru it? Never got a clear answer. If you have people who support you, and want you to do things and be with them I would encourage you to do it. I would go to my daughters homes, my family and friends and I couldn't sit still, I wanted to keep moving, and I'd come home. It would have been better to be with people. I turned inward and that wasn't good. I'm going to share my history in my blog. I hope you have the chance to read it, I'll be adding daily and hopefully it will help you along the way. But in the mean time I'm here and I'll keep checking in if you need to talk.

Comment by Sharon Stricklen on August 13, 2009 at 1:47pm

I lost my husband in April of this year and am having a rough time of it. He had cancer and I watched as he got sicker by the minute and all I could do is love him and tell him it was going to be alright. Some days I am sick at my stomach and have a hard time getting going, I actually have to force myself to move. I guess this is normal, oh I dont know, all I know is it is rough.

Comment by Graceann on August 13, 2009 at 11:54am

I will be adding to my Blog daily and will detail the road that I've traveled to bring to where I am today.

Comment by Graceann on August 13, 2009 at 8:46am

Thank you Melissa,
It's been 11 years and I have had this desire to help others thru their grief for sometime. I finally decided today was going to be that day. I have much to offer and much to share that will help others to perhaps heal healthy and not make some of this mistakes that I did.

Comment by Melissa Smith on August 13, 2009 at 8:38am

I too have lost a spouse at the age of 40 and would like to also help and support others in any way I can contribute. Some are stronget than others but it's very hard trying to cope with the loss especially when you have children.

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