I am so sorry for your losses . I am currently caring for a lost precious friends son . She died after a long battle with cancer . She was a beautiful person inside and out . Now I am left helping to care for her autistic son who will never understand how cruel death can be. When she first died , we were all so worried about him . He would not eat and had lost so much weight . Now he is much better and we are trying to help him to cope . I remember some of his mother's last words to me . She said " my son is 33 yes , but in his mind he Is a child , he is a baby. He is my baby ." It was so hard to see a mother in that position . Till this day I remember her so vividly . Please know you are not alone in your grief . The whole world in one way or another is suffering from the lost of someone they truly love . Find comfort in good memories and look to the future with hope .