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Latest Conversations: Feb 18
Started by MissC801 Apr 29, 2010.
Hi, my name is Cathy. My brother, Matthew, took his own life last September. I'm really looking for someone else who has gone through losing a sibling to suicide to talk to. I just feel so alone and isolated right now.
It's been quite a long time since I've been here to post my thoughts, but you have my thoughts everyday. It's scary to think that we are closer now than we've ever been in life. I'm doing well, much better than I would have predicted. Sadly, part of it has to do with knowing about others who that pass from this life. Especially when they don't live the years you were given. Isn't that terrible? Selfish? Part of it makes sense I think, because as soon as I lost you it made me a little bit sad when someone was living past 20 and you aren't around anymore. I don't understand what you did, a number of people I learn about are murdered, some by their choices of who to let into their lives. Like some marriages, but mostly boyfriend-girlfriend. They wouldn't have been in danger and that person wouldn't have wanted them dead if they were more careful about who to trust. AND NO ONE WANTED YOU DEAD! No one wanted to harm you, you were safe and didn't have to worry about some psycho saying 'if I can't have you no one else will.' Does it really take living in fear of someone taking your life to hold on to it and want to live? That's what I take with me anyway is knowing about the cold hard facts of reality of the many victims that I imagine would remark how fortunate most of us are to never live in fear, not have someone after us 24/7, to live in relative peace, that we are in control of our destiny and we should be grateful for that by living as long as the sun shines upon us. How many would want to have their chance at life back, and you just let yours scatter in the wind. As long as my thoughts are broadened and not so entirely focused on you I will have the sunshine of tomorrow. I love and miss you Bro.
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