Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
Latest Conversations: on Thursday
Started by Rachel Ke. Last reply by Charlene Farrell Jan 4.
Started by Robbin R. McManus. Last reply by Rachel Ke Jan 2.
Started by Travis Tipsword. Last reply by Melinda Guinn Oct 5, 2014.
So sorry for your loss Susie. Your Mom was so young. This is the right place to be to share your feelings with people that have gone through the same thing. I definitely miss my Dad every day, but know he always wanted me to be happy and live my life to the fullest.
I'm new to this group too. Lost my Mom 15 years ago and my Dad almost three months ago. I see such a pattern with guilt. I feel a lot of that too. My Dad had a lot of problems, was in the hospital then recommended to a nursing home rehab to get his strength back. He never really snapped back in the nursing home like we expected. He passed away a couple of weeks later. I always wonder if I had brought him home and got help there if it would have been different. How do others deal with the "what if" situations?
Keleigh, I think, from what you've said, that you did the best you could. :) No one ever really knows how to take care of a patient, let alone when it's your own family. You mention guilt, I feel it everyday I sit at this table in my house. I wasn't more than 30 feet from my mother, who was supposed to be in bed sleeping. I sat her for two hours, and didn't think to check on her like I usually did, but that entire two hours I sat here, she was in her room, dying. When I woke up that afternoon, I had a feeling that something bad was going to happen, but I didn't know what, and I struggle everyday, wondering if I could have saved her life, if only I checked on her sooner, or done something different.
Melinda I can't imagne the loss of a child, I don't think there could ever be a greater loss. My ex-husbands grandmother lost all 3 of her sons to just random things and I never understood how she got through that. Danyale, your experience is very similar to mine. My mom passed in June, was also an artist, and we didn't get along very well. I was the only one who stepped up to care for her. I quit my job put everything on hold only for her to tell me I was a bad caregiver and was doing everything wrong. I had never taken care of a dying parent...I did everything the dr's told me to do yet I have guilt b/c I feel like I didn't do enough. Like with your mom I know she loved me, and I loved her, I just feel like I was left with no closure.
My mother passed away in June, and somedays it feels like yesterday, others like it's been years. I never really got along with her, we fought all the time. When I was little I had to grow up really fast. We were in a car accident and she received a TBI, Traumatic Brain Injury, and just wasn't the same again. I had to grow up... had to become the woman of the house, sorta speak. Since then she always hated me. I felt like she blamed me, in a way, for the car accident, or at least hated that she was injured and I wasn't. It was hard. I know she loved me, and I hope she knows I loved her too. The hardest part of the last 7 months has been no being allowed time to grieve, and now I have the time, but its hard to. She was an artist, so every time I drew, or painted, she would watch me, and every time I'd pause, look at her and yell at her for staring at me. I'd give anything to have her watch me draw again. I learned almost everything from watching her do it. I'm not sure what else I should say.. I don't even know if I'm doing this comment thing right... thanks for reading it.
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