Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
Latest Conversations: 18 hours ago
Started by samantha. Last reply by samantha yesterday.
Started by Rachel Ke. Last reply by Charlene Farrell Jan 4.
Started by Robbin R. McManus. Last reply by Rachel Ke Jan 2.
Those who have experienced this... tomorrow is my first Birthday with out my mom... I am dreading the whole day and trying to so my best to plan things so I don't stay in bed all day. As much as I have told my family I just don't want it acknowledged this year, I know they will. Last year my mom was dying but well enough to have dinner with me. It was so special. She stayed out so late we got locked out of the respite home she was staying out. We laughed for weeks about how I kept her out past her curfew and got her in trouble. It was a tough birthday b/c I had just lost my daddy and he chose to celebrate the whole month (mostly b/c he had Alzheimers and couldn't remember the exact day) and he was my best friend. Mom and I knew it would be our last together... it was weird knowing that the woman who birthed me into this world was soon to leave it. This year is the first with out mom and with out mom and dad together. This sucks.... I sometimes feel like an orphan
So sorry for your loss Susie. Your Mom was so young. This is the right place to be to share your feelings with people that have gone through the same thing. I definitely miss my Dad every day, but know he always wanted me to be happy and live my life to the fullest.
I'm new to this group too. Lost my Mom 15 years ago and my Dad almost three months ago. I see such a pattern with guilt. I feel a lot of that too. My Dad had a lot of problems, was in the hospital then recommended to a nursing home rehab to get his strength back. He never really snapped back in the nursing home like we expected. He passed away a couple of weeks later. I always wonder if I had brought him home and got help there if it would have been different. How do others deal with the "what if" situations?
Keleigh, I think, from what you've said, that you did the best you could. :) No one ever really knows how to take care of a patient, let alone when it's your own family. You mention guilt, I feel it everyday I sit at this table in my house. I wasn't more than 30 feet from my mother, who was supposed to be in bed sleeping. I sat her for two hours, and didn't think to check on her like I usually did, but that entire two hours I sat here, she was in her room, dying. When I woke up that afternoon, I had a feeling that something bad was going to happen, but I didn't know what, and I struggle everyday, wondering if I could have saved her life, if only I checked on her sooner, or done something different.
Melinda I can't imagne the loss of a child, I don't think there could ever be a greater loss. My ex-husbands grandmother lost all 3 of her sons to just random things and I never understood how she got through that. Danyale, your experience is very similar to mine. My mom passed in June, was also an artist, and we didn't get along very well. I was the only one who stepped up to care for her. I quit my job put everything on hold only for her to tell me I was a bad caregiver and was doing everything wrong. I had never taken care of a dying parent...I did everything the dr's told me to do yet I have guilt b/c I feel like I didn't do enough. Like with your mom I know she loved me, and I loved her, I just feel like I was left with no closure.
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