loss of a parent

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Comment by PIM 1 hour ago

I lost my 85 year old mother and best friend on Thanksgiving morning, she died in my arms at hospice and I feel that I helped her cross over to the light by talking in her ear as her time drew near, about who was waiting for her in heaven, that I was ready to let her go, and I told her to get up and walk to the light, to look at the light, don't stop, don't look back, keeping going to the light where it is peaceful. I think it was helpful to both of us. She trusted me with her life in the last few years and we knew she could not turn back death.

Comment by Sally on November 25, 2009 at 5:54pm

I spoke to my mother's only sister tonight.She sounded just like my mother. I could hardly breathe.Her ping pong of English and Spanish delighted me so, I wept.Telling me in Spanish how much she missed her little sister. Now,our ever so respected Aunt Raquel,has a mass in her lung.My mother adored her. I don't even call her.I hope someone out there can understand me. I am tortured by the memories of my mother's death, The way life beat her every last breath out, HOw she lived for 25 days with out as much as a drop of water. There's no way I can enjoy myself tomorrow.Thanksgiving was OUR holiday! When she was on her death bed but still able to communicate she giggled and I asked "What is it mom?" She said ,"No. Nothing." I knew what she was thinking. She thought, "Why don't we all die together?"

Comment by jvd on November 24, 2009 at 7:27am

everyone who loses their mother goes thru this i just lost mine october 30 2009 and im not very nice right now .but i did find i need to be and i did find everything happens for a reason .the way i get thru everyday is to think by me being upset i am holding her here .one of the articles i read says we must let go so the spirit is free to live in heaven and can go see family that has passed before them and it also says if we are too bound here on earth with grief the spirit stays and is tormented further with worry as we greive .
my mother will always be my best friend and no one will ever mean so much to me but if i can take one second of pain or hurt from her i would do whatever i could so if it means holding it in and trying to find foregivness and trying to not just be dark and lost then i will do it .maybe its evil that makes us feel this way lost and alone because the friars say we are never alone and that our family when passes are still here with us so maybe its just selfish for me to be that way...im not sure im doing a whole lot of soul searching not just for hers for mine too godbless you all and just remember knowledge is power read and see what you think is true

Comment by justagirl on November 23, 2009 at 2:11pm

I lost my mom on september 18th. she was my best friend. I have been staying with my dad and going through some awful grieving. Have not been able to stop crying for the last 3 or 4 days. I am afraid to go out and miss my mom so greatly I dont know what to do. her death was a painful one for her and happened over a 9-10 month period, she slowly dwindled away and she died with her children around her and got to tell us all she loved us before she died.

I am so lost and alone and I dont know how to get past this or what I should do. I go out and start to cry and come back here and start to cry. she died in the house I am living in and my dad is still here.

I am dreading christmas and going out as well. I have been forcing myself out but I see all the christmas things and it makes me cry more. christmas without my mom is going to be very tough.

some awful things were said during the last month of my life and many mean things were said to me. I feel so alone now without my mom and that there is no one left.

All I know is that I want my mom and I am completely afraid of everything

Comment by LGWilson on November 22, 2009 at 5:12am

My mom died in my arms Sept 25. I had been hospicing her alone. She was my best friend. My 2 siblings never even called in the last week then proceded to scapegoat/attack me aft she passed.
Now it's like I lost the entire family. The only one I cared about was my sweet mom but it still hurts.
I never knew ppl could bve so souless/mean and in my own family too. I am like a wonded animal ever since.

Comment by Volena on November 22, 2009 at 1:10am

I want my mommy. I'm 44 years old and this seems to be my most freguent thought now. I miss her so much. Even though I went throughl anticipatory grief, I did not know this could hurt so bad. Mom died October 27, 2009. It's been 3 weeks,5 days. I am so jealous of anyone who has lived longer that Mom did. She loved us with all her heart. She worked hard to support us. She was the rock of our family. I wanted her to keep teaching her grandchildren how to have fun and have common sense. She died of lung cancer. I want more time with her. Why couldn't she stay longer?

Comment by Dawn Ciringione on November 21, 2009 at 2:19pm

I lost my most wonderful father, Jack Fenzel, a month ago Oct 21 and am so very sad today, I feel like it just happened. He died the day after my 54th bday from a massive stroke 6 days earlier from which he never regained consciousness. My sister from CA and my daughter, a college freshman, both made it to the hospital before he died. I couldn't ever imagine either parent dying, despite growing health concerns over the past couple yrs. I've experienced anticipatory grief off and on for years since my daughter and only child was young. I'm so thankful that she had her grandfather growing up. My father gave me unconditional love all my life. Over the years whenever a friend lost a parent, I extended my most heartfelt sympathy, but I never could have known how deep and overwhelming it feels to lose a parent until now.

Comment by CDJBlue on November 21, 2009 at 4:38am

I lost my mother 7 months ago and my grandmother on Oct. 21st and her sister, my aunt on Oct. 31st. My youngest sister died in 2005. I don't have answers, but this much I know....if you haven't experienced a significant loss, you just can't possibly understand the devastation of loss. The loss of my mother and sister were both very painful and curiously were each uniquely different. The death of my sister DID NOT prepare me for the death of my mother! My grandmother and aunt died so recently and their deaths were so close together, that I haven't been able to untangle my feelings. It feels like a lasagna made up of different layers of grief. I never got over my sister, then there's the Mama layer and now there's the Granny and Irene layer. Someone asked me yesterday how was I doing....I replied that she really didn't want to know. The ugly truth of the matter is that people usually are polite but really don't want to hear about your pain, your sense of isolation and abandonment, feelings that you just are not going to be alright EVER!!! Absolutely nothing in my life prepared me for this. I now understand how people can feel that they are ready to go....how they tell themselves that they will see their loved ones in the "Great By and By". I guess with time it gets better. Granny, who was 96 when she died, still asked for her mother who died 49 years ago.

Comment by johnetta m. on November 20, 2009 at 7:53pm

It has been 10 months since I lost my beautiful mama.I'm still numb.I am just existing right now.I haven't totally accepted that she's gone,it just feels as if she has been on some sort of vacation. The holidays mean absolutely nothing to me.My life has
been forever changed literally!! I know that mama would want me to continue making her proud but I am still in so much pain.

Comment by Catzrme9 on November 20, 2009 at 11:35am

Have faith that each of us will get through the storm

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