My Mom just died

It's so hard knowing that she's finally gone. My rock, my safety net is gone. No more phone calls, no more shopping, no more smiles, telling me everything is going to be all right. No more reminders to count 'to 10' when life gets complicated. It's so hard to know she's gone. She died this past Saturday. I know it will take time, the tears just keep coming. I feel so lost at this moment.

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Permalink Reply by Leslie Haxel on February 1, 2011 at 9:19pm

Hi Judy, I just lost my mom 3 weeks ago and I feel like I've lost a huge part of me. I feel like I can't go on at times. My mom was my very best friend and we saw each other every single day. She died suddenly of a heart attack and I found her in her apartment which has left me having flashbacks and terrible dreams. I'm trying to find something that will make me feel like living again. Have you or anyone heard of grief support groups who meet in person? I've started individual grief counseling but I don't feel that this is enough for me.

Permalink Reply by Jenny on February 2, 2011 at 5:02am

I know exactly how you feel Judy. My mom passed on April 21,2009. She was/is my bestfriend,rock as well. It still feels sureal. I am 46 and feel like a baby wanting their mommy. Just knowing she is with me,and she has made it clear on many occassions to let me know...Helps. Such a cliche,however,rings true. Also, I don't know if you watch much TV. On sunday night @10;00pm NY time, there is a show on the biography channel.."beyond and Back. That show gave/gives me so much comfort. God bless and hang in there..

Permalink Reply by Dottie's Daughter on February 2, 2011 at 9:15am

Judy...I can't imagine how hard this last year must have been for you since your Mother passed. Its such a sad bond we all share. My Mother passed on Sept 28th, 2010 and I'm still counting the days since she left us and can't really believe she has been gone this long already. I can't imagine a year without Mom but I know that anniversary will be here before I know it. Some of the things you've said are exactly how I feel! I find some days are better than others now but it still seems surreal to me that she is gone forever. I still want to call her everyday or drive by her little place and visit and boy do I miss the times we shared. I was with her every single day the last 18 months of her life and I am so grateful for that time now. She spent 4 months in and out of the hospitals/nursing homes before passing and I have many regrets from those days but in hindsight I guess the outcome would not have changed due to her health problems. Reading everyone's comments continues to bring me comfort knowing I'm not alone with my feelings of missing her but.... Lord I miss her so so much!!!! I believe as you do that my Mother is also having a grand ole time up there with family! Thank you for your comments and may you find comfort in your memories of your Mother too.

Judy said:

Hard to believe, the one year anniversary of Mom's death is this Sunday. Where has the year gone? It's been a rough year, never thought it would be hard. It was. Thank God friends and family were around 1000% during this year. I really would like to thank my nephew. He was a Godsend. Helping with cleaning out her home was hell. I thank God every day that he was there to help.

I miss you so much Mom, but I know you're having the time of your life up there with the rest of the family!

Permalink Reply by Dottie's Daughter on February 2, 2011 at 9:26am

Jenny.....I feel just like you. Mom was my bestfriend and my rock and the older I got the closer we were! It still feels surreal to me too and I miss her so so much. I just wanted to tell you I have recently found this show you speak of... "Beyond and Back." I am completely hooked on it and have taped every show that has been on. The very first one I found while flipping channels and while trying to watch it through my tears I can't tell you how much comfort it gave me. I love this show and you are right... it brings much comfort and gives me hope. I'm sorry we share the loss of our Mom's. We will see them someday though! Thanks for posting about the show. Take care

Jenny said:

I know exactly how you feel Judy. My mom passed on April 21,2009. She was/is my bestfriend,rock as well. It still feels sureal. I am 46 and feel like a baby wanting their mommy. Just knowing she is with me,and she has made it clear on many occassions to let me know...Helps. Such a cliche,however,rings true. Also, I don't know if you watch much TV. On sunday night @10;00pm NY time, there is a show on the biography channel.."beyond and Back. That show gave/gives me so much comfort. God bless and hang in there..

Permalink Reply by Jenny on February 2, 2011 at 5:37pm

Dottie's Daughter said:

Jenny.....I feel just like you. Mom was my bestfriend and my rock and the older I got the closer we were! It still feels surreal to me too and I miss her so so much. I just wanted to tell you I have recently found this show you speak of... "Beyond and Back." I am completely hooked on it and have taped every show that has been on. The very first one I found while flipping channels and while trying to watch it through my tears I can't tell you how much comfort it gave me. I love this show and you are right... it brings much comfort and gives me hope. I'm sorry we share the loss of our Mom's. We will see them someday though! Thanks for posting about the show. Take care

Jenny said:
I know exactly how you feel Judy. My mom passed on April 21,2009. She was/is my bestfriend,rock as well. It still feels sureal. I am 46 and feel like a baby wanting their mommy. Just knowing she is with me,and she has made it clear on many occassions to let me know...Helps. Such a cliche,however,rings true. Also, I don't know if you watch much TV. On sunday night @10;00pm NY time, there is a show on the biography channel.."beyond and Back. That show gave/gives me so much comfort. God bless and hang in there..

Permalink Reply by Jenny on February 2, 2011 at 5:41pm

Oh,TY for saying that..I felt a little foolish with that advice..But so many people having the same experiences..and noone wanted to come back..That speaks volumes to me.. I picture my mom and dad..watching me sobbing....And I actual laugh a little..Can't even imagine such a place..God bless..and I'll think of you on Sunday evenings.!=)..

Jenny

Permalink Reply by Sue Davis on February 3, 2011 at 8:45pm

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. It is a painful experience.. I lost my mother a year and a half ago and I am still missing her so much.. Your words describe my feelings so well.. The only thing that keeps me hanging on is the faith that one day I will see her again.. Hold on to your faith..

Permalink Reply by Shannon on February 15, 2011 at 9:22am

Honey I feel the same way I lost my mom Feb 5th and I think I was in shock til now since the funeral was Sat I am so depressed I too keep thinkingI need to call mom or I womnder how she is today I was told losing your mom the pain never goes away and I feel lost too I am really messed up in my head!

Permalink Reply by Judy on February 21, 2011 at 3:26pm

Shannon, I'm so sorry for your loss. Actually for me, this whole first year has been weird. I miss my Mom so much. Whether it's good new or bad, just not being able to pick the phone to talk to her is heartbreaking. I found being with friends and family, writing, talking, sharing helps a great deal. So do the tears, always when I lease expect them. It's a journey, painful at first, but it does get better.

Shannon said:

Honey I feel the same way I lost my mom Feb 5th and I think I was in shock til now since the funeral was Sat I am so depressed I too keep thinkingI need to call mom or I womnder how she is today I was told losing your mom the pain never goes away and I feel lost too I am really messed up in my head!

Permalink Reply by Sue Davis on February 22, 2011 at 8:24pm

Hi,

I am sorry for your loss.. It may get a little easir with time.. For some it is easier than for others.. I still miss both of my parents who died one year apart .. Dad in 2008 and Mom in 2009.. I miss them so much still..

I know what you mean when you say your rock, no more shopping or phone calls.. It is so hard to know they are permanently gone and can never see them again.. I think it is hardest on me because I am single with no one else in my life to lean on. My sisters and daughter have moved on much more easily than me.. I am better in some ways..

I pray that time will heal your pain.. Take care! Sue