More than a mother

It's been a week since my mother passed away. I can't stand life without her. She was so much more than the woman that gave me life. She was my best friend, my kindred spirit. My mind will not accept that she's gone. She was such a genuine person. She loved me unconditionally. She was never judgemental. She welcomed strangers with open arms. She listened. She forgave and gave unlimited chances to those who made mistakes, even when everyone else did not. My anger seems to be the worst effect of her death. I am rude and distant to those trying to console me. Nothing comforts me.

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Permalink Reply by margaret on October 22, 2009 at 8:06pm

I lost my Mom when I was a teenager. I often wonder what kinds of time as two adult women we would be together. That is always what sticks with me. I lost a small hole in my heart when she passed.I'm pushing 50 and will always mourn her.Make your choice as soon as you can. Accept or not in negative ways, that is how I see it.

Permalink Reply by helene rusty osser on October 24, 2009 at 1:20pm

My wonderful mother died on 10/13/09 ! I feel the same even though she was 90, she was my everything we lived together and I am very angry and I dont know why , I cant believe that I wont hold her and kiss her again. Im trying to deal but I cant seem to get a hold of myself without her everything seems dim. Will I ever be happy again I dont see how !!!

Permalink Reply by margaret on October 24, 2009 at 3:34pm

helene rusty osser said:

My wonderful mother died on 10/13/09 ! I feel the same even though she was 90, she was my everything we lived together and I am very angry and I dont know why , I cant believe that I wont hold her and kiss her again. Im trying to deal but I cant seem to get a hold of myself without her everything seems dim. Will I ever be happy again I dont see how !!!

Permalink Reply by Sally on October 24, 2009 at 4:59pm

It's been over 2 months since my mother died. Nothing is better. I still can't look at her picture. I still cry everyday and night. I feel like I lost my father as well because they were a package deal. It's bizzare to me to not see them arm and arm. I can't stand not having her to console me or help me through my seperation with my husband. Sometimes I have imaginary conversations with her and they always end up with me telling her to go away. I can't even begin to tell you how hearbreaking all this is. The constant flashbacks of her last day haunt me tremendously. I have lost the only person who accepted and loved me unconditionally. I have become so distant from my siblings and just about everyone else. I see no end to this nightmare! If it weren't for my children I would join her.

Permalink Reply by margaret on October 24, 2009 at 5:13pm

Sally,
Life will get better , I have experienced the death of my Mom,Dad and little brother. There were days I wanted to die too.I miss them to this day, but I fought to deal with it.It took lots of guts to get thorough all the pain and suffering I felt. Peace go with you.

Permalink Reply by helene rusty osser on October 24, 2009 at 7:02pm

margaret said:

I lost my Mom when I was a teenager. I often wonder what kinds of time as two adult women we would be together. That is always what sticks with me. I lost a small hole in my heart when she passed.I'm pushing 50 and will always mourn her.Make your choice as soon as you can. Accept or not in negative ways, that is how I see it.

Permalink Reply by helene rusty osser on October 24, 2009 at 7:10pm

GOD BLESS!!!us one and all living in this desperation and pain . My dad died 26yrs. ago and it hurts everyday and now without my mom I feel like an orphan even though im old myself ! Im scared of everything and everybody! How do we go on and honor their memories , when the pain wont stop?

Permalink Reply by margaret on October 25, 2009 at 7:05am

Rusty,
That is the big problem,it never goes away, you learn to accept and live "your" life the way your loved ones would want it. Remember their smiling faces and soon it will put a smile on your face. Sometimes I feel thier presence to lift me up and carrry me through so much. Ones who have past I rely on to have a quiet moment with,to ask for their guidance, to intercede with the powers of the Universe and it works.
I know when they are with me, and this spiritual connection is gold.

helene rusty osser said:

GOD BLESS!!!us one and all living in this desperation and pain . My dad died 26yrs. ago and it hurts everyday and now without my mom I feel like an orphan even though im old myself ! Im scared of everything and everybody! How do we go on and honor their memories , when the pain wont stop?

Permalink Reply by Don on October 25, 2009 at 7:47am

Stacey said:

Stacey said:
Claire said:
It will be two months on September 11, 2009 since my mom passed away. That was the worst day of my entire life. I took her to the hospital the day before and all they could find was an UTI. When I took her back home she fell asleep from the medicine that they had given her from the hospital. The next day I went to her house to check on her but it was too late. There were no warnings and I still don't know what happened. I am feeling so many emotions each day that I don't know how to deal with them. My mom was my best friend and I loved her so much. We had so many jokes and things that only belonged to us and I miss all of that terribly. I feel so angry that I wasn't there with her - I feel guilty that I should have done something more. I am having a hard time accepting this. I always have heard about loved ones giving signs after they pass away to let us know that they are still with us. I want to experience something so badly, I have not had any dreams of her either and I want to as well. My heart is broken and I know it takes time but I don't want to experience this life without her. I am only 24 years old and she was supposed to be with me at my wedding and the day that I have kids. I feel as though my world has been torn apart. I just want to wake up from this nightmare and see her smiling face again.

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot say within time the pain will get easier... It just whats get me through each and every day.... I miss my mother like crazy. and would give my right arm to see her again. I know this may not be any comfort right now. but let me tell you what my pastor's wife shared with me. I too was very sad becuase my mom was not going to be there on my wedding day. Light a blue candle at the beginning of the ceremony and she will be there spiritually. As far as dreaming of her. please please pray to the Good Lord and let him know that a dream would be comforting to you. I will pray for you.

Permalink Reply by helene rusty osser on October 25, 2009 at 9:15pm

DITTO I thought only I feel this way!! When will the pain ease up??

Permalink Reply by Tori on October 26, 2009 at 1:00pm

Permalink Reply by laurenelyse on November 13, 2009 at 9:09am

Dear Sally, I wish I could explain to you how much I can really relate to your story. My Mom passed away in June of this year. She was only 63. We were always very close,she was my best friend. She was the kind of Mom that all of my friends called"Mom" too. She helped so many of them through "growing pains" and well into their adult years. Like your Mom, she was a person who loved unconditional. She was the most selfless person I knew. Always putting others before herself. She helped everyone and never took credit for doing so. Your emotions are very new right now. It's Ok for you to grieve. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty over how long your grief lasts. I hope that you have good support. If you were involved with Hospice, they have a great grief program. If you ever want to just talk,send me an e-mail. I will keep you in my prayers. Laurenelyse