I have felt exceptionally raw today.....not sure why. my husband was really grating on my nerves- he was being kind of snappy with the kids , and it made me SO sad- my dad was NEVER like that with us. We never had to worry about ruffling his feathers, he was pretty unflappable! if we did something to upset him or warrant punishment, he was always firm, but also very fair. I only saw him lose his temper completely once with any of us- he caught my sister sneaking back in through her bedroom window when she was a teen. Only saw it once, never saw it again. I watched my sons face today when my husband berated him for something, and it made me feel so bad for them both- for my son, that he has a dad who makes him feel a little scared- for my husband, whose mom taught him those tactics because his own dad was so emotionally absent for him. My husbands parents recently retired and moved closer to us, so that his dad has actually been calling and wanting to do stuff with my husband.. he told me tonight that for the 1st time in his life, his dad is actually THERE, wanting to spend time with him. His dad is/was a pastor, so had very long hours and many people demanding his time and emotions.......my husband really felt that growing up his dad was not there for him on any level. My dad was so opposite that- he made time for us kids every day, whether it be playing ball or just going for a walk, letting us follow him around his wood shop or garden projects while teaching us about it.- he taught my sister and I how to ski, then would often take us out of school on a Monday ( cheap lift tickets!) and take us skiing with him. He was ALWAYS there - and just like my husbands dad was NEVER there for him, and now he is......my dad was ALWAYS there for me, and now he isn't. I guess I am happier that I had my dad all those years.....jen