Missing my Mom ---- My mother was murdered by my stepfather on January 5, 2009. Supposedly it was supposed to be a murder-suicide, but he survived his well placed shot and is now pleading insanity. My mother would have been 72 in April if she had not been murdered. They were married for 49.9 years. I am having trouble with anger toward him and such deep sorrow missing my mother. She did not deserve to die like she did at his hands - shot in the face with a shot gun. They would not let us see her, I could not say good-bye. Almost 10 months later and I am still on this never ending roller coaster. Have been in therapy, but it only helped with my anger. It seems nothing helps with my sadness

Views: 60

Replies to This Discussion

Wendy, I can not even begin to imagine losing my mom in this manner. My Mom died suddenly after a heart attack and emergency heart surgery. She had never been diagnosed with any heart problems. She died August 19th, 2009. I have been struggeling with the lose as is my sister, neice and daughter. Mom lived with me for the last 2 years and for the past 20 she onlived 2 miles away. I am trying to understand why this happened. The day before the attack was a great day. Mom and I spent the day with her two girlfriends, they have been friends for 68 years! They all have some medical problems, one has alzheimers, the other has emphazyma. The one friends daughter and I talked while we were all having lunch. We both commented on how nice this was for them to get together, as this could be the last time they all three see each other. One lives in Florida and the other in a group home in Port Washington. Little di we know that the healtiest one would be in Intensive care 12 hours later and gone within 3 days. I am so glad we had that time. But it all happened so fast, there was no time for good byes.
From expierence when my father died 25 years a go, the hurt gets better, but never goes away. I am glad you were able to deal with the anger. All we can do for the sadness is to remeber, our moms are both in a better place and think of all the Happy memories of them. Try to be thankful for the 70 plus years they were both on this earth. I do not know of you are a church going christian, but they are with our Lord and Savior and we will see them again one day.It's only been a month for me, but feels like a year.
Thanks Don for the kind and encouraging words

Wendy said:
Don said:
Wendy, I can not even begin to imagine losing my mom in this manner. My Mom died suddenly after a heart attack and emergency heart surgery. She had never been diagnosed with any heart problems. She died August 19th, 2009. I have been struggeling with the lose as is my sister, neice and daughter. Mom lived with me for the last 2 years and for the past 20 she onlived 2 miles away. I am trying to understand why this happened. The day before the attack was a great day. Mom and I spent the day with her two girlfriends, they have been friends for 68 years! They all have some medical problems, one has alzheimers, the other has emphazyma. The one friends daughter and I talked while we were all having lunch. We both commented on how nice this was for them to get together, as this could be the last time they all three see each other. One lives in Florida and the other in a group home in Port Washington. Little di we know that the healtiest one would be in Intensive care 12 hours later and gone within 3 days. I am so glad we had that time. But it all happened so fast, there was no time for good byes.
From expierence when my father died 25 years a go, the hurt gets better, but never goes away. I am glad you were able to deal with the anger. All we can do for the sadness is to remeber, our moms are both in a better place and think of all the Happy memories of them. Try to be thankful for the 70 plus years they were both on this earth. I do not know of you are a church going christian, but they are with our Lord and Savior and we will see them again one day.It's only been a month for me, but feels like a year.
Don said:
Wendy, I can not even begin to imagine losing my mom in this manner. My Mom died suddenly after a heart attack and emergency heart surgery. She had never been diagnosed with any heart problems. She died August 19th, 2009. I have been struggeling with the lose as is my sister, neice and daughter. Mom lived with me for the last 2 years and for the past 20 she onlived 2 miles away. I am trying to understand why this happened. The day before the attack was a great day. Mom and I spent the day with her two girlfriends, they have been friends for 68 years! They all have some medical problems, one has alzheimers, the other has emphazyma. The one friends daughter and I talked while we were all having lunch. We both commented on how nice this was for them to get together, as this could be the last time they all three see each other. One lives in Florida and the other in a group home in Port Washington. Little di we know that the healtiest one would be in Intensive care 12 hours later and gone within 3 days. I am so glad we had that time. But it all happened so fast, there was no time for good byes.
From expierence when my father died 25 years a go, the hurt gets better, but never goes away. I am glad you were able to deal with the anger. All we can do for the sadness is to remeber, our moms are both in a better place and think of all the Happy memories of them. Try to be thankful for the 70 plus years they were both on this earth. I do not know of you are a church going christian, but they are with our Lord and Savior and we will see them again one day.It's only been a month for me, but feels like a year.
THANKS, sometimes praying works and gives me comfort and sometimes it doesn't
I hope and pray for you... that you find the comfort you desrve.... I am deeply sorry you lost your mom the way that you did. I had to get therapy too. My mom died in the ICU room in front of me and my sisters, dad and all the grandkids. and it still hurts like it was yesterday. i cannot lie and say the pain goes away. each day just gets easier. i am still living with mixed emotions... why she had to go. i cannot call her and that makes me angry, sad, upset and a emotional rolller coaser that never ends. My prayers are with you.
Wendy said:
Stacey said:
I hope and pray for you... that you find the comfort you desrve.... I am deeply sorry you lost your mom the way that you did. I had to get therapy too. My mom died in the ICU room in front of me and my sisters, dad and all the grandkids. and it still hurts like it was yesterday. i cannot lie and say the pain goes away. each day just gets easier. i am still living with mixed emotions... why she had to go. i cannot call her and that makes me angry, sad, upset and a emotional rolller coaser that never ends. My prayers are with you.



thank you, I know what you mean by being angry that you cannot call her. I have picked up the phone so many times.
Hi Wendy, I feel so bad for u and admire ur strength in getting rid of ur anger! My woderful mother just died at 90 on 10/13/09 , aand feel anger and I know I should not but the pain is overwhelming . I feel paralized I dont ever want to go out again, whats wrong with me ? I have good kid, and grandchildren who want me to be around for them but I feel soo sad and Im very weepy. Your story is so much worse , whats wrong with me I should be grateful for her long life , but she was sich for 6 1/2 years so I should have been prepared. Are u ever ready to lose ur mom?

RSS

Latest Conversations

Dee m is now a member of LegacyConnect
Tuesday
Profile IconChantel Brown, Stella Wilson, Daryl Geisheimer and 1 more joined LegacyConnect
Monday
Theresia Wolf-McKenzie updated their profile
Nov 26
Aimee M Gallagher is now a member of LegacyConnect
Nov 23

Community Guidelines

Please be respectful of others. For more information, read our Community Guidelines.

Follow Legacy

© 2021   Created by Legacy.com.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service