I lost my father in 2003 to cancer. I was 20 at the time, im 27 now and I feel like its finally catching up to me. Ive always been the type of person to hold things in and being the only child I had to step up and be the man of the house. I had to be strong for my mother. Ive never been able to show emotion and I think some family members might think that I am cold. Recently when I watch some programs (intervention in particular )when the father reads his letter or shows emotion for his child I find myself crying uncontrollably. I can watch the same types of programs with my family and not shed a tear. I find myself becoming overcome with emotions that I do not know how to handle. Can someone please help?

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share your thoughts with someone you trust and allow yourself to grieve. I did the same thing and tried to block it out, but this only delays the hurt. You are not alone and people care about you so lean on them.
See thats the problem. I dont have anyone to turn too,I still find the need to be strong for my mother and I know if share with her it will just hurt her and turn into a bunch of crying on her part. Im not really interested in upsetting her.
jason, I am so sorry for your loss......maybe you can try to find a grief support group through a local hospital........it is so important to talk about your feelings and let yourself grieve. if you can't do that with your mom, you need to find someone more removed, but who can still relate to your pain and help you move forward. you are not alone! Jen
Hi Jason, Sorry for your loss! I am going through something similar I felt I had to be strong for my sister when our Mom passed 9/1/04 and because I held in a lot of emotions. However those emotions and feelings have come to the surface in the last 3-4 months and I find myself depressed, angry and emotional. I want to see a therapist but feel that I need to be stronger and deal with it on my own. I am not doing so well trying it on my own but I haven't gotten to the point I feel can trust a outsider with my feeling and watch them write it all down as I speak.

I like you don't want to talk about it with my sister (ur Mom) because I don't want her to cry and relive her emotions and I feel like no one else cares because they have all grieved and moved on.

I think if you can find support here that will help make things easier for you then just read some of the other posts to see how others are dealing or look for a local support grp in your community. The important thing is that you get the help you need and be able to grieve. Pls write me anytime and I will do my best to offer words of encouragement as I can. Take care!!

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