I'm so sorry for your loss. Yes, death is so final! I lost it when I saw dad in the casket.
My dad passed away on 6/5/09. I adored him. He was my rock and gave me the strength to endure various health issues and get out of an unhappy marriage. He was always there with a kind word and humor. I have his obituary bookmarked and I visit everyday. I talk to him thru his guestbook on line. When 1 year of his death approaches, I will keep his guestbook on line forever. He passed away 9 days prior to his 92nd birthday. On his birthday, I bought a big balloon and attached a note to it, and let it go. It made me feel better that perhaps I could communicate with him. The pain doesn't go away, and the date of his passing will forever be embedded in your memory. My dad was a good, kind and thoughtful man. He had one grandchild whom he adored. Of course as my son got older, it became a chore to visit his grandfather. I try to let those things go. The family issues I have learned to ignore and focus on my dad. I have some belongings of his that I cherish. I feel that he is here watching me and making sure everything is fine. That's how I cope and deal with his death. I have one brother who I don't get along with so it's hard. My mother is here, and we have been building a relationship. It hurts that dad is gone but I knew he was dying, and I had a long talk with him the day he passed away. That made it easier, knowing that I told him how much he meant to me. I love looking at pictures of dad and reminiscing. That's all I have of him. At his funeral, there weren't many people, as dad outlived most of his friends and siblings (he has one sister who couldn't be there; she is elderly as well). But anyone who had anything to say about my wonderful dad, I listened. I will never get over his passing. I knew he wouldn't be here forever BUT it hurts. The passing of a loved father leaves a big hole in your heart. I tell my son that family will be here forever but not always the friends. I have friends who have lost their dads and they lend a shoulder to cry on. I also have 2 cousins who loved my dad as well. I cry a lot. I count the months he is gone but I feel this is normal. I hope as time passes, you will realize that your father is now out of pain. I still remember the look on my dad's face as he gasped for air even with the oxygen. He couldn't fight the pneumonia which also caused congestive heart failure. I can't say it gets easier, as I have good days and bad. I am crying now as I type this message. I absolutely loved my dad. I'm glad he is out of pain. Truthfully when the doctor told me he was dying, I thought I'd die with him, but he made me the strong person I am today. I have survived many situations because of my father. He taught me to handle things, both good and bad. When I get in a situation that I'm not sure how to handle, I try to think of what dad would do, how would he handle it? Hanging onto the memories helps me deal. I can't say your pain will diminish quickly. It's healthy to cry and deal with your feelings. Take care, Deb
My father died 1/15/2010, did not see it coming. He won his battle with prostate cancer we all celebrated four months ago. Thought we had all the time in the world together. Came home for the christmas and new year holiday to spend time with him. We had so much fun together. Could not believe the news when my brother called to inform me that our father was died. They could not save him. He also had COPD, but his heart failed. Nothing makes any sense to me. The funeral was saturday. My friends and husband have been very helpful to me..... Do understand what it is like to tell someone good riddance, had to do that before with my first husband.....
yolanda said:My father died 1/15/2010, did not see it coming. He won his battle with prostate cancer we all celebrated four months ago. Thought we had all the time in the world together. Came home for the christmas and new year holiday to spend time with him. We had so much fun together. Could not believe the news when my brother called to inform me that our father was died. They could not save him. He also had COPD, but his heart failed. Nothing makes any sense to me. The funeral was saturday. My friends and husband have been very helpful to me..... Do understand what it is like to tell someone good riddance, had to do that before with my first husband.....
hello Toni, i understand what you are going through, i lost my father on Nov.15th 2009,to a severe stroke, which led to severe brain damage.. he also was my hero. I miss him so much i never thought that i would lose my dad at the age of 62. He still had so much to live for he will never see his grandbabies grow up and thats all he wanted..hold on to your memories, thats how i make it through my day..
and remember that god is there to hold your hand..sorry to hear about your relationship with your significant other..sounds like you have good friends to lean on..and remember that your father is at peace in heaven..