loss of mom and dad

My mom was fine on the 18th of December. She was up eating chicken strips when i went over there. When i left, she gave me an extra long hug. The next day she wasn't at church. My phone didn't register any missed calls, so i waited until later to call. i learned that they had company coming in. Then at 10pm that night, i get a call from my step-dad telling me that the ambulance was there and they were doing CPR on my mom at that moment. i rushed over there. They were working on her. I learned that my mom and step-dad had company over, then went to the store to do Christmas shopping, then came home. She wanted to go out on the porch because she was complaining of being hot. They went out on the porch and talked about the stars and the true meaning of Christmas. They came back inside, she sat on the couch and started taking off her shoes. Her cat came up to her to be petted, then bolted off. My stepdad looked over and saw her still bent over. She was unresponsive. He pushed her back. Her lips were blue, almost black. Well, she spent the next several days in CCU on a breathing tube. The doctors said she had suffered massive brain damage. I prayed and prayed and prayed for a miracle. Well, on the 28th, after the breathing tube was removed, she passed away at 2am. My parents just moved back to be near me 7 months ago, now my mom is gone, and my step-dad just moved back to Michigan. i feel like my heart and soul have been ripped out. i know God will see me through, but i have a huge hole in my chest right now. I love her and will miss her, and will miss my step dad also. He has been in my life for 28 years. He has been a dad to me.

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Permalink Reply by LG on February 5, 2010 at 2:03pm

I feel so sorry for all of you here that have lost your parents. I am in the same boat. My dad passed away many years ago; my mom died in July of 2008. Also, I lost my beloved mother-in-law last June (my father-in-law died before I met my husband). And I can also relate about losing a pet, because that happened to me about a year ago, too. It really does take a toll on you when you have several losses in a row (or even at the same time in some cases). It's as if each one multiplies your grief. I can remember being upset and sad about losing my grandparents, great-grandparents and dad while growing up, but I am really being shaken up about all the recent losses. Maybe they just remind me that I already lost family in the past and don't have as many people left who love me. Since I know that I can't bring them back, and I believe they are in a better place, I have to accept the new "normal" as it is; however, it isn't easy to do.

I am hoping that all of you will be comforted by the many memories you have of your parents. They loved and cared for you since you were children and would never want you to be sad for the rest of your lives without them. Even if it takes joining a support group, getting counseling, volunteering or spending lots of time with our remaining loved ones, we owe it to our parents to make the most out of our lives. It hurts, deeply at times, but with strength and encouragement, we can make it.

Permalink Reply by Priceless on February 6, 2010 at 11:43am

3 Years ago today we would be preparing for Dad's viewing and tomorrow would of been Funeral/Celebration of Life. What a life Dad had. Marrying his soul mate, mom. Dad was set such a Great example for his children to follow. Even though we wanted him here on earth with us, we had to do what was best for Dad and honor Dad's wishes (he had them written out). We had to let Dad go. Even though it is such a lost, heart-wrenching goodbye, I have to remember all what Dad taught us/me. Saying goodbye is never easy and can be downright frustrating since it comes with so many new feelings and adventures. I call it adventures, because I go into the unknown without Dad (&Mom). Unknown because new adventures will arise that will take me off guard. I was recently reading a book, that mentioned people who retire have a hard time at retirement because their job/work defined them. I realized that was true about me.(even though I am not retired, I was laid off) I have experienced a lot of different type of grief in my lifetime and I had phone contact (as part of my job) with many people who were grieving. I knew well the grief word and how many new feelings that word can bring about; also a new life of uncertainty. I found fullfillment. At first I gave my thoughts over to God so he could provide me with an answer. I am trying to let God be my pilot. God came through for me in unexpected ways before for me and I know God will do this again; when I help myself that is when God lets me know he NEVER left my side. Maybe God has given me my answer, that other work can fulfill me in different ways and also be a challenge.
Dear God, bless us all on connect.legacy as we grieve the loss of our loved one/loss of someone we knew. Please help us make sense of the thoughts on our mind and pilot us through this difficult time. Pilot us toward good "grief" work to direct us in the journey. As I have read many times in the Bible, "Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give your rest."