I too lost my mother very recently, March 30th. She died on the same date as my father, twelve years later. She spent the last 5 months of her life on a ventilator at a nursing home. It has been the worst time of my life. I was fortunate enough to be with her when she died. I thought that seeing her suffering everyday for the last 5 months was the worst part. I thoug I was saying goodbye to her all along, but really, her death still shocked. The pain is so difficult to put into words. I too am tired of people telling me that it is for the best; that she had a good life; that it will get better in time. I can't touch her or see her or talk to her. And, you know what, no one will ever love me the way my mom did. So, I know exactly how you feel. I think we all do. Which is why we are on this forum. Stay strong and le the tears come.
Hard to believe, the one year anniversary of Mom's death is this Sunday. Where has the year gone? It's been a rough year, never thought it would be hard. It was. Thank God friends and family were around 1000% during this year. I really would like to thank my nephew. He was a Godsend. Helping with cleaning out her home was hell. I thank God every day that he was there to help.
I miss you so much Mom, but I know you're having the time of your life up there with the rest of the family!
I know what you're going through. I just lost my mom three weeks ago. I feel like my life is over. I can't be happy anymore. I try to go through the motions of life, but they are just that, motions. I can't put any effort in doing anything, and nothing really matters. I know she is with Jesus and there is no more pain or suffering, yet a piece of my heart is missing without her. I feel that my husband is very insensitive. He just thinks I should move on, but my mind won't let me. The tape just keeps rewinding about the events leading to her death. So much guilt, so many things unsaid, so many things that shouldn't have been said. I know she is in a better place, but I still haven't accepted the fact that she is gone. You are not alone.