My Mom just died

It's so hard knowing that she's finally gone. My rock, my safety net is gone. No more phone calls, no more shopping, no more smiles, telling me everything is going to be all right. No more reminders to count 'to 10' when life gets complicated. It's so hard to know she's gone. She died this past Saturday. I know it will take time, the tears just keep coming. I feel so lost at this moment.

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Permalink Reply by Mystique on February 23, 2010 at 2:25am

I'm so sorry for your loss. Trust me hen I say I know exactly how you feel. My thoughts are with you.

Permalink Reply by Sue Davis on March 21, 2010 at 4:57pm

I know exactly how you are feeling.. My Mom died 8 months ago, but it feels like only yesterday. She was also my safety net. Even in her elderly age she still gave me that safe feeling.. I pray for all of us that this pain will get better. I know I will always miss her and my father. Life will never be the same... It is hard knowing that they have disappeared from the face of the earth. Death is the hardest thing to ever go through. I pray for everyone here going through a loss.. God bless all of you!
Sue

Permalink Reply by Tangi on March 21, 2010 at 10:51pm

I'm so sorry for ur loss my mom passed in sept 09 and it still feels like yesterday I can't lie to u and say u will b ok I still cry like I did the day she left me too I know ur pain when u say no mor phone calls no more "just don't worry about it everthing is gonna be ok" I just wish I could hear her say that to me again u will heal at ur own speed n don't let n e 1 tell u n e thing about crying cause its ok to cry.

Permalink Reply by Tammy Buxton on March 22, 2010 at 7:20am

I have lost both of my parents and some friends in the past five years. I think the hardest part was the telephone. I live in Oregon and my family lives in Vermont. I used to come home from work everyday and call my mom and now five years later, that is still the hardest part for me. I like to walk and take early morning walks and sometimes the tears just come from a memory, a wish that I could say sorry for something I remembered. I can't do that but what I can do is know that the memories and the unconditional love they had for me is what made me who I am today and I know they are in a better place.

Permalink Reply by Judy on March 22, 2010 at 2:42pm

This past weekend was just the beginning in dispursing Mom's personal belongings. Couldn't sleep the whole week, last nite after all was said and done the grief was overwhelming, and the tears just wouldn't stop. It was awful. Seeing all of her more personal items distributed just broke my heart. It was so hard to feel 'normal' around everyone. I just wanted them out of the house. Today was about making calls to find organizations to take some of the furniture, it was like a another piece of my heart was being disolved. God, I hate this....

Permalink Reply by Bobbi on March 22, 2010 at 11:53pm

Dear Judy: My heart goes out to you. I know the numbness you are feeling. Mama passed last Mother's Day May 10, 2009. It seems so unbelieveable someone you love so much could possibly be gone. My prayers are with you. I would also suggest you find a Grief Counseling group in your area and join them. You can't do this alone. Maybe your church has such a group and if not, perhaps you have a Family Services Program in your area that may have one or be able to tell you where one is located. I don't know how old you are but it's OK to cry but don't stay inside all the time. You must get up and get out. Would one of your best friends consider going with you to a Group meeting? You are still getting used to her being gone. How I wish I could reach out and give you a big hug. Please take some of my suggestions intoo consideration. Depression hurts and once it sets in, believe me it seems to last forever. PLease talk with your Clergy or someone. Don't be alone. God loves you and so do I in Christ Jesus... Lovingly, Bobbi

Permalink Reply by katlin on March 23, 2010 at 8:00am

Dear Judy,
Please know that others understand your deep sorrow and want to give you words of comfort and encouragement. The resurrection hope Jesus talked about in relation to all that die can help you to know you will see your mom again in perfect health. Jesus said, "...the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his (Jesus) voice and come out.." (John 5:28) I would like to invite you to take your bible and read this for yourself. There are many other scriptures that talk about the resurrection hope. Jesus himself resurrected people back to life right on earth when he was here on earth. These people did die again, but now that Jesus himself has died for our sins, (John 3:16) the next resurrection of the dead when he calls them will allow them the opportunity of living forever in perfect health right here on earth. (Psalm 37:11,29) Please write if I can comfort you with other encouraging scriptures like these. linkatlin@yahoo.com

Permalink Reply by Susan Fuller on March 23, 2010 at 8:23am

I am so sorry for your loss Judy. My dad died 16 days ago and the pain and sadness comes in waves. I am having a bad day today...reliving his last day with us. I will say a prayer for you today! :)

Permalink Reply by Judy on March 25, 2010 at 11:51am

To Sue F.

I'm sorry for your loss too. Lately I've been remembering the last few days of her life. She was on life support, and we had to make the decision to take her off. I know she's in a much better place, but the loss is just awful. I'll pray for you and your family too. For me, the waves hit the hardest at night, when I allow myself a chance to think. I know it takes time when we lose our parents, regardless of age. Just keep reaching out, it helps!

Permalink Reply by Roger J. DeSue on March 27, 2010 at 2:01pm

Your comment really touched me as I just lost my mom on this past Thursday,
she was my rock and my safety net as well. I moved away from my hometown a few years ago and we would talk on the telephone every day , she was always willing to listen when I needed someone to vent with, she would not make many comments but she would always give you that acknowledgement that only a mom could give.
I'm crying tears of joy as my mom enjoyed a long life and was able to function fully for most of her 84 years on this earth, my faith assures me that she is alright now, even though she is gone, she will live on through me and my other siblings.
Thought that I would never be able to relate to someone that had lost there Mom, now I truly know what it feels like.

Rest In Peace Mom...

Permalink Reply by jac on March 27, 2010 at 6:35pm

My mom died 11/6/09 and its still so hard. Shopping today to make an Easter basket for my dad and I started crying. The pain sneaks up on me all the time.

Permalink Reply by jac on March 27, 2010 at 6:41pm

Judy said:

This past weekend was just the beginning in dispursing Mom's personal belongings. Couldn't sleep the whole week, last nite after all was said and done the grief was overwhelming, and the tears just wouldn't stop. It was awful. Seeing all of her more personal items distributed just broke my heart. It was so hard to feel 'normal' around everyone. I just wanted them out of the house. Today was about making calls to find organizations to take some of the furniture, it was like a another piece of my heart was being disolved. God, I hate this....

I understand so well. A month after my mom died I had to put my dad in a home because he went right in to dementia. So I had to clean out all their things, go to court for guardianship, sell their car, etc. And the strangest things would bring tears: the site of the bowl that we only used for cranberry sauce during the holidays-things like that. The pain seems to be like the tide of an ocean. It ebbs and flows. And sometimes there is an unexpected stray tidal wave.