My mother suffered so much the last 15 months, between painful chemo, to her platelettes giving her trouble all the time, to different painful procedures, losing her hair, having to have a colostomy, a bag on the side of her, always embarrased her, even when she was so sick, couldn't eat or drink anything towards the last few months of her life, cancer riddled her body, she never complained, never wanted sympathy, she was a fighter, but she lost her battle, in the hospice, she was only there for 4 days, she passed on February 24th, she knew all of us to the very end, I am at loss of words, an empty feeling inside, and the way she died I will never forget, all the suffering in the hospice, each transition in entering a new world, seeing her suffering, and couldn't do anything about it, couldn't help her or make it better in any way, this baffled me how God makes his plans for us, devasting torment she went through, I ask the question, why, there is sadness, lonliness, bitterness and confusion on why all of this happened to a remarkable person, I guess God only knows, we can never understand death fully but there is a reason we will never know until it is our turn,
Bless you mom, I love you and you will live inside me for the rest of my life.

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Hugs and I am sorry for your loss. My mom passed away on December 17, 2009 from vulvar cancer. I also can not believe the pain and suffering from cancer. It is the most horrific thing I have ever seen. My mom was too weak to get out of bed and we called Hospice. She was there on Sunday evening, talking and saying how beautiful it was with all the Christmas trees. By Tuesday she was no longer speaking and by Thursday she was gone. Cancer seems like such a long battle, but when someone passes it seems so quick. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I just wanted to express my sadness for your loss.
I am truly sorry.

Kathryn
Crhistine,

I too lost my Mom to ovarian cancer, along with breast cancer. I completely understand the painful effects of chemo, the continuous battle with blood issues and platelets, hair loss, and all the difficult, painful procedures. I guess what bothers me most is that Mom couldn't eat........always sick. The wasting away was so very hard to watch; 18 months of fighting; fighting what seemed to be a losing battle. Watching the transition from earth to heaven was the hardest. Not wanting to let go but knowing I had too. Angry with GOD for the suffering and torment she through........not understanding why. My mother was a wonderful woman. A founding member of our church as well as a deacon. Loving, giving and so very warm, kind hearted. I found myself looking around at other people wondering why it couldn’t have been one of them instead of someone who is such a wonderful witness for GOD. I still don't understand and perhaps never will. I still get angry and feel cheated. But, GOD has given me his GPS (Grace, Peace & Strength) to get me through and it will be 3 years this coming June 17th. I still cry, I still hurt and I still get very lonely at times. I suppose the experience has moved me closer to GOD but the pain getting there was very close to unbearable. I have wonderful memories but I want/need more than that most of the time. My life has changed now and forever; I hope for the better. I am so very aware of the value of life, of love and of GOD. Time spent with my Dad, brother (& family), sister (& family) and my husband is what means the most to me. Little things that were taken for granted are now the things that bring me the most enjoyment. I don't think I have or ever will get over the passing of my Mom, I think I just deal with it on a different level..................
I cried reading your post. I lost my mom to ovarian cancer too. It was 9 months from diagnosis to her death and I will forever be angry at the ungodly suffering she went through. i have never seen anything so horrible. she was a week shy of her 58th birthday and my entire world. me and my sister could not do anything for her and we tried everything. there is so much more to say and i am sure you know exactly how i feel. my name is robyn and you can write me at lustgartenr@hotmail.com, if you ever want to talk.

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