I don't know what I am looking for. I feel like I am lost most days. I lost my dad 2/20/10. I have a great husband,great kids & a great job but I feel so empty. I feel guilty for feeling this way, I have a high position at work which is very stressful so I just keep asking god to give me the knowledge ,ability & patience to deal with the job right now. He passed a month ago on a saturday & I went to work on that monday. It is hitting me harder now than it did a month ago. I miss & love him so much. My mom & I went to the hospital for a year straight so 2009 was not a good year but looking back now I would take those times back in a second because at least he was here. I keep asking myself what could I have done different. I always think about talking to him,holding his hand, or just smiling back at him. That Saturday at 2:10 pm will be in my mind forever I try to think of good times but that day keeps haunting me. He was the sweetest person in the WHOLE world & I just want to dream about him one time. I need some kind of reassurance that he is with me & that he is ok. I google words of wisdom. crazy huh? Again I miss him so much.