Please tell me it gets easier over time ??

I keep hearing from those who understand that it doesnt get any easier but that u just learn to not think about it so much...Its been 3 1/2 months now without my mom and I just feel like everyday Im going to wake up and she will be there and we will laugh about it and talk and I will hug her and tell her how much I love her... I wake up every morning with reality that she is never coming back... I feel like every day I fall deeper and deeper into a place that is cold and alone without her..I dont think I can ever allow someone to get close to me again becuase Im so affraid of having to feel this pain over again..

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Permalink Reply by Mo on June 25, 2010 at 1:50pm

I believe that it gets easier over time. I lost my father on 2/22/2010 and although I think about him everyday, and I get sad when I think about him, I think I have accepted that he is gone.

Personally, I think about him more and more every day and wish that he was here to enjoy all the wonderful changes that have happened in my life, but I know that he is somewhere feeling proud of me.

We all take our own journeys when we are mourning, and everyone has a different way of dealing with it. Just take your time, and know that you will make it out OK. Your mom would have wanted you to be happy, and to move on with your life. She would not have wanted you to feel like you can't get close to anybody. What fun is life if we never allow ourselves to get close to anybody?

Stay strong. Remember the good times, and take each day as it comes.

Permalink Reply by MissingMyMom on June 28, 2010 at 12:22pm

Hey Jimmy-i don't have any words to really help u bc it has been a little over 5months since my beautiful mother passed away and I still think about her from the time I wake up till the time I go to sleep. It just seems so unfair that God would give us such great mothers and then take them so soon-everyone keeps tellin me its all part of a bigger plan and what doesn't kill u makes u stronger but I'm def not feelin strong yet-hopefully in the months to come it does get easier but its all about how we grieve. I'm not at the point yet where I can say I accept the fact that she's gone but if u can get to that point then I'm sure that's when it will get easier. Keep ur head up and just know that u are not alone in ur thoughts.

Permalink Reply by Joni on July 1, 2010 at 11:25am

My mom passed almost 3 years ago. I've been almost paralyzed with the grief I still feel. I miss her so much it almost physically hurts.

I don't know where to turn. I also feel as though I'm in a very dark place with no hope. It is an awful feeling.

I know people say it gets easier with time. Well, in my case, that just isn't so. I feel like a big part of me died that day with her. I almost wish I had. Coping with the loss is crippling for me.

Permalink Reply by Dawn Price on July 10, 2010 at 8:57pm

Joni,

I lost my Mom June 7, 2008 ( My Birthday) and my Dad ( March 26, 2010). After my father's death, I was very very sad. I went to a therapist and spoke with my church pastor. I am feeling better now and functioning. I am not saying I don't have bad days because I do. What I found the helps me most is I celebrate their life everyday by living my life to its fullest. My father built my daughter a swing and I wasn't able to look at it, much less swing on it w/o crying. Now I push my daughter on the swing and celebrate the fact that he built it for my daughter and how lucky she was to have an awesome grandfather. I cook with my daughter and celebrate the fact that my Mom taught me to cook. I say celebrate your Mom's life and the good things she left behind.

Permalink Reply by Dawn Price on July 10, 2010 at 9:01pm

Jimmy,

It does! In time the pain will lessen and you will have great memories of your dear mother. Try to celebrate her life and remember what a beautiful place she is in now. She lived her life and now it is time to live yours. Keep her memories close and cry when you have to, but continue living because that is what she would want you to do. Think how sad she would feel to see you suffering right now.

Permalink Reply by Tania Asencio on July 11, 2010 at 7:32pm

Hey Jimmy
It might get easier. I lost my dad on 3/25/09 and it is still rough. All i can say is that you have your good days where you can accept it and then you have your bad days. Sometimes i think when is my dad coming back. Think of the good times, the laughter, that will help.

Permalink Reply by GLORIA CLAY on July 14, 2010 at 10:00am

I LOSS BOTH MY PARENTS IN A CAR ACCIDENT DEC 30 2003. NO YOU NEVER FORGET BUT THE PAIN SLOWLY FADES PLEASE START PRAYING AND MEDITAING EACH DAY. STAY POSTIVE BECAUSE IT WILL GET BETTER . GOD BLESS YOU

Permalink Reply by Belinda Rhodes on July 14, 2010 at 4:14pm

Jimmy, WOW I love your special memories in honor of your Mom. I can feel the pain in your note...but loosing your mom, is so tough. You do not give much information about your family, etc...friends, but I hope you are not trying to do this process all by yourself. I tried that for a short time, and fell quickly on my face. Your mom will be in your spirit all the days of your life. No the love of a mom is like non other, but please do not limit your life to never love again. With the relationship you two had, I know that is not what she would want for you. I know how hard it is to reach out to others when we are hurting, but I want you to know, you bless others by letting them know how to help you during this difficult time of your life. It is not that people are not there for you, but I have lived life long enough to know, some people are afraid they might offend you, or that you present a strong face and admit all is well, when you are dying inside. Take baby steps, and I pray you will find someone to help you go through the loss that has turned your life upside down.
The saying heals all pains, is acceptable, but I think it just lessens the intensity. I know that I know, my anger and frustration since December 2009, most people rather take a beating, then watch what I am going through. I pray, I write, I talk, and yet I am not nearly as healthy mentally as I need to be. Take care, and I hope you stay with Legacy, there are many people ready to reach out, or just listen to your pain! Warmly, Belinda Rhodes

Permalink Reply by Mo on July 14, 2010 at 4:18pm

Joni said:

My mom passed almost 3 years ago. I've been almost paralyzed with the grief I still feel. I miss her so much it almost physically hurts.
I don't know where to turn. I also feel as though I'm in a very dark place with no hope. It is an awful feeling.
I know people say it gets easier with time. Well, in my case, that just isn't so. I feel like a big part of me died that day with her. I almost wish I had. Coping with the loss is crippling for me.

Joni, keep in mind that your Mom would never want you to feel so bad. It sounds like the pain is still very raw for you. I hope that you are speaking to someone in regards to this. I think talking to people can help a lot, even if it's hard. I know my problem is that whenever I feel like saying anything about how I feel, I stop because I wonder why anyone else would want to hear that. It's depressing stuff, and I don't like bogging people down with it.

I don't know whether or not you have sought therapy for how you are feeling, but I can tell you that I have made a proactive decision to seek it, as I feel that I am in a very dark place as well right now.

Permalink Reply by Mo on July 14, 2010 at 4:20pm

Tania Asencio said:

Hey Jimmy
It might get easier. I lost my dad on 3/25/09 and it is still rough. All i can say is that you have your good days where you can accept it and then you have your bad days. Sometimes i think when is my dad coming back. Think of the good times, the laughter, that will help.

I can definitely relate to you on the "When is he coming back?" thing. I think about all the time. I am ready for this to be over and for him to come back. Not a day has gone by when I haven't thought about him.

Permalink Reply by Belinda Rhodes on July 14, 2010 at 4:21pm

Joni, Three years seems like eternity, when we have a major loss. I hope you can trust the love and the relationship you had with your Mom, will live out through you. Physical loss is not ever easy, but if your loss has been "paralyzing" I hope you can open up to the world, and share what true love is. A mom is the first person we trust and love, please share that with a group or friends. I think this world need to start thinking about nurturing relationships and friendships, and I think what you had was so special, others could learn to be more hopeful instead of all this mass confusion that happens daily. Let me know how your doing...Take care, and please share what true love is all about.
Belinda Rhodes

Joni said:

My mom passed almost 3 years ago. I've been almost paralyzed with the grief I still feel. I miss her so much it almost physically hurts.

I don't know where to turn. I also feel as though I'm in a very dark place with no hope. It is an awful feeling.

I know people say it gets easier with time. Well, in my case, that just isn't so. I feel like a big part of me died that day with her. I almost wish I had. Coping with the loss is crippling for me.

Permalink Reply by Mo on July 14, 2010 at 4:23pm

Belinda Rhodes said:

Jimmy, WOW I love your special memories in honor of your Mom. I can feel the pain in your note...but loosing your mom, is so tough. You do not give much information about your family, etc...friends, but I hope you are not trying to do this process all by yourself. I tried that for a short time, and fell quickly on my face. Your mom will be in your spirit all the days of your life. No the love of a mom is like non other, but please do not limit your life to never love again. With the relationship you two had, I know that is not what she would want for you. I know how hard it is to reach out to others when we are hurting, but I want you to know, you bless others by letting them know how to help you during this difficult time of your life. It is not that people are not there for you, but I have lived life long enough to know, some people are afraid they might offend you, or that you present a strong face and admit all is well, when you are dying inside. Take baby steps, and I pray you will find someone to help you go through the loss that has turned your life upside down.
The saying heals all pains, is acceptable, but I think it just lessens the intensity. I know that I know, my anger and frustration since December 2009, most people rather take a beating, then watch what I am going through. I pray, I write, I talk, and yet I am not nearly as healthy mentally as I need to be. Take care, and I hope you stay with Legacy, there are many people ready to reach out, or just listen to your pain! Warmly, Belinda Rhodes

I like what you said about taking baby steps. It seems like an easy enough idea, yet I feel like I am constantly rushing to get through this mourning period. I need to keep in mind that feeling better and being in a better place cannot happy over night. I need to take it day by day.