I lost my mother a week ago.  She died on my oldest son's birthday, although I know without a doubt that she had no idea what the date was.  But now, for the rest of my life, October 15th will be the day I became a mother, and the day I lost my mother.  It will always be a day of sadness rather than celebration.  It will always remind my son of his loss.  I find myself angry, not at my mother but at the circumstances.  My mother made no secret about how special my son was to her.  He celebrated for 2 hours that morning - we let him sleep late, so he didn't get up until 10 a.m.  His little brother & sister had blown up balloons and left them in his room.  He had breakfast and then went and played some music.  He was a newly minted 17 year old.  At 12:30, my phone rang.  That was it.  

I have no doubt that my children will always remember the way I reacted.  I'll always regret that I didn't accept the news very gracefully.  I screamed and cried and just kept yelling "NO!".  I couldn't be a mother in that moment.  I was lost.

Views: 482

Replies to This Discussion

Hi Dawn I am so sorry for your loss.

I lost my mum 21 months ago yesterday and that date is always a reminder for me the 21st.

If you need to talk or advice i am here to help you if i can ok take care all of you at this sad time.


I just wanted to send my Condolences to you and your Family. I also lost my Mom, But I lost her in 1990 and not a day goes by, She is always in my thoughts and also in my Dreams. I also Lost my Dad Last Dec. 2012. I will Pray for you and your family that YOU can find some comfort in your grief. God Bless you. 

I'm so sorry for your loss and I can definitely relate to the feeling of your heart when you received the news about your beloved mother. I responded the same exact way when I received the news about my father on Thursday-08-08-2013. It is a day that I will NEVER forget. I don't even feel the same way about Thursdays (I use to love Thursdays, because it was one day closer to Friday). I'm a little loss for words and my eyes are becoming watery, so I will just say "God Bless you, keep your head up, although its hard and be thankful your mom is at peace. I miss my dad so much, but he went through so obstacles,  from 2009 until his death. It hurts so much, but he can rest now and so can your mother."

My Grandma, who was like a Mom to me after my parents wre divorced when I was 8, passed on New Years Eve. So now I feel terrible celebrating a New Year since 1975!!! So I don't even though I've tried!


So sorry for your loss Dawn, don't be angry at how you reacted. You're only human. I'm not sure of how religious you are, but if you have a bible, I'd like to share some comforting scriptures with you. Please take time and read them. They will give you comfort and hope. 2 Corinthians 1:3,4 talks about comfort when loved ones die, Hebrews 2:15 talks about freedom from a morbid fear of death and John 5:28,29 talks about a real hope of being reunited with your dead loved ones. 

Take care

There is nothing wrong with the way you reacted. There is nothing you can do about the feelings you had at the time. There is no reason to regret it. Can you honestly say that you could have reacted gracefully if you tried? It was out of your hands to react that way just as it was out of your hands when she had to go. I'm so sorry for your loss. May you feel her presence and love October 15th so strong that you may share the wonderful feelings with your children.


Latest Conversations

Wonda Hurt is now a member of LegacyConnect
Jan 20
Shelva linen is now a member of LegacyConnect
Jan 18
Charles E. Nelson commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
Jan 17
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
Jan 15

Community Guidelines

Please be respectful of others. For more information, read our Community Guidelines.

Follow Legacy

© 2023   Created by Legacy.com.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service