Didn't want to spend any holidays with family..and NOW still choose not to...

My Mom passed Jan.3,2002.I chose not to participate in holiday get togethers with family.The ones I did attend were difficult cuz it was just empty without my beloved mom. Thanksgiving 2009,started to get the invites for the holiday dinner.Well I gave in to my nephews invite.I took my Dad, and it was ok.Took me along time but I did it finally.On our way home I stopped to visit my sister who had health problems that seemed to be getting worse,after her husbands death in 2006.On Dec.4,2010,my sister was in the hospital which we had gotten use to.She would go in and a few days later would be home.4 days later my sister passed away.My world crumbled. The days,weeks and months were so difficult since her , me & my Dad were so close .We all helped each other move on with our lives.It wasn't until June that I was able to go to the cemetary without crying and falling apart.In August the Dr. told me that my Dad's health,his life was declining.He was 89yrs. old and there was no cure for him cuz he was tired and after many years his body was just shutting down.On Oct.11,2010 my Dad peacefully passed away while I slept in his recliner... facing him.I just wanted to be alone for Thanksgiving 2010 and I was . I woke in early afternoon and got dressed and drove myself to the grave of my Mom & Dad. I had to go cuz they were the biggest blessing in my life.And now I still got to get through my 1st Christmas & New Years without my sister & my Dad.I've already got places and friends to go spend time with but It won't happen. I just don't want to be around anyone It's hard enough going through a day without my Dad & sister, much less a holiday.I am strong on most days but when I fall ,I fall hard , and I never know when it will happen,cuz when I fall there is no warning to try and prepare me for it .I'm praying and as the days go by I'm gonna pray even harder.... cuz...though the skies may seem clear ,I know that the stormy clouds will come...cuz that's life ...GOOD DAYS !...BAD DAYS !...GOOD TIMES !.. BAD TIMES !...

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Freaddie,. Remember that "God is our refuge and strength" (Psalm 46:1)and keep praying.
Thank you Jeanne ! So many people tell me I need to be around others and celebrate those holidays but no one really knows what one " needs to do " until they themselves go through a loss.Everyone is different and handles situations in their own set ways. I knew I wasn't the only one who chooses to " just be alone ". I know myself and after all my losses I know what I need to do . Once again , thanks for your support. FREDDIE
Thank you Kathy ! Yes , I always remember this . After losing my sister , I knew that only GOD could give me the strength to move on with my life.I also soon realized my Dad was getting weak and kinda givin up on life , I prayed for months for GOD to give me the strength I needed to be there for my Dad , to give me the strength to cope with my sisters loss.Yes there were days with tears and pain but that isn't what I look back on now.It's those days that I was strong,the days I held back my tears, the days I tried to convince my Dad that I would be ok,and that GOD would carry me and always be at my side.Once again Thank You ! GOD Bless ! FREDDIE


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