Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jennifer C. on November 21, 2011 at 9:25am

Hi YaMiaKia, I lost my dad in May. It helped me alot to go to the library or bookstores and get books on grieving, losing a parent, etc. A lot of good advice. Also think about seeing a counselor specializing in grief management - can help you work through the day to day struggles. Hang in there - the first month or so was the hardest for me. It does get easier with time.

Permalink Reply by Jennifer C. on November 21, 2011 at 9:25am

Hi YaMiaKia, I lost my dad in May. It helped me alot to go to the library or bookstores and get books on grieving, losing a parent, etc. A lot of good advice. Also think about seeing a counselor specializing in grief management - can help you work through the day to day struggles. Hang in there - the first month or so was the hardest for me. It does get easier with time.

Permalink Reply by YaMiakia S. Wright on November 22, 2011 at 11:28am

Thank you for coming past my share. I did not expect a response, but they are sure welcome. And thank you for the encouragement.

Permalink Reply by Lori Sherry on November 23, 2011 at 3:42pm

Hi,

 

My name is Lori Sherry. I have been feeling sad about my dad recently also. I have been a member here for awhile now. My dad's name was Clifford. He passed away July 3, 2010. I was doing O.K. at first but, then, it really hit me really hard to really deal with it. I am having a really hard time now that the holidays are here. My mind is all over the place. My emotions are all over the place also. My mom is also having a hard time. They were married and now he is gone.

 

I have had such sadness in my life and it's really hard.

 

I do volunteer which I LOVE but, even that's hard.

 

Lori Sherry

 

 

 

Permalink Reply by Jennifer on November 26, 2011 at 9:24pm

My dad passed away as well. It's been a little over a year though. Obviously I wouldn't be here if it gets easier in a year's time. It doesn't. For me, I feel like I've gone through so many stages of grief. Anger, a little depression, fear, complete and isolated sadness, emptiness. I keep thinking that i'll see him again. A part of my brain won't accept that i won't see him again. i keep thinking that somehow it is possible that he will secretly come to me and say hi and give me a hug.  Rationally, I know this isn't really going to happen, but part of me can't accept that it isn't. this is when I can break down emotionally because part of me cannot believe that he has really left us. How could he be taken from this world.

 

Your whole life changes and you have to learn a new way to go about it. One of the hardest parts has been dealing with my mom and the new relationship with her- the new person that she is. That is hard and in a way, I feel like i've lost both my parents. i feel bad even typing that. I know she will someday be the person she was in many ways. Time heals and you learn new ways to deal with this loss every day. You can go about your life and be completely competent, but that aching grief for your parent is with you all the time. Keeping my dad with me everyday is the only thing that helps me go forward. I keep his memory alive in me and try to be a better person for him. I know he is here with me in spirit and that is very comforting. I wish the best for you and please know that in time - things will get better as you get stronger. your parents love for you never dies.

Permalink Reply by Linda Torres on November 28, 2011 at 12:40pm

Hi YaMiaKia,

I lost my Dad in 1992 after a 8 month battle with lung cancer. Thankfully, Mom and I helped each other get back "normalcy"; however, things can never be normal again because he is not here. Daddy worked on the oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico and would be gone 1-2 weeks at at time, so we were used to him not being home. It wasn't until the next month that I realized that Daddy wasn't coming home. We were just getting used to Daddy's death when Mom had a major stoke in Dec, and my world was turned up side down....I'm still grieving for Daddy and Mamma is fighting for her life. She fought for 19 years after that but had an unexpected stroke this past June that beat her. 

I thought losing Mom would be like when Daddy died, but it's not....it's much harder. For the first 4 months, I couldn't sleep, thought about her every single second, and really thought I was going crazy. I did alot of research about grieving, and realized that I am not the only one who is going through this. Even though I have well meaning friends and a wonderful husband, I could not talk to them about what I was going through...I didn't want to hear what they had to say...they don't know how I feel because it's not their Mom, so don't try to make me feel better and quit telling me that it's time to move on. I knew I had to work things out in my head myself and if that didn't work, my next stop was a grief councilor.

Fortunately, things are starting to get better. Once I got through the irrational thoughts, I began to feel better. Everyone is different and we have to deal with things in our own way. What works for one doesn't work for another, you have to figure out what is best for you. It's hard, there is no doubt about that, but you have to figure out what is best for you to deal with all the emotions.  If I let the irrational thoughts stay too long, I'm right back where I was so I've learned how to get them to subside. I think that I may still need a councilor, especially with the holidays coming up. I've been thinking alot about my parents and I miss them.

Just remember you are not alone, everyone of us on this site is feeling lost, despair, and extreme sadness. We are feeling this way because we love someone, and we should be happy that we had that person in our life; but none the less, we are sad that they are gone. Things get better in time, but it never goes away because our love never goes away.