I have been wanting to go to a support group for a while but I just didn't know how to go about it. I was 20 when my father lost his battle to cancer. He was only 46. My life has not been the same since. Some days it is very hard for me. I feel like I have this huge void in my heart that is heavy. People make me feel like i should just get over it and not dwell on it but it is not that simple. Time has also not made it any easier. I know he would want me to be happy and get on with my life but I just cant find the strength. I am happy to know he is not in pain anymore but I guess I am being selfish by wanting him here with me. He will never walk me down the isle or see my kids and that is really hard for me to think about. I don't know how someone goes on when someone they love so much is taken from them. I need someone to talk to but it's also hard. I feel like when I talk to someone about it, it just brings them down. So i just keep it all in. Can someone please help me.. I dont want to hurt this bad anymore...

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Sarah:  I am sorry for your loss!  You have already taken a great step by finding a place like this where you can share your feelings with others who have lost a parent.  When I lost my ex-husband to lung cancer in 1999, I tried to tough it out for my three daughters.  After a year, I found a grief support group and meeting with others who were working through the grieving process helped me in ways that nothing else could!  I will never forget the girl who shared her story of losing her little brother 10 years earlier.  She had been suffering for so long, and had never rally dealt with her pain.  For her, it was if it had just happened!  Time doesn't matter...talking about your Dad with others, writing about him and your feelings of pain and loss..these are important things you can do.    As for those who think you should be over him?  They have no rights to judge your process or feelings.  As the old saying goes "pay them no nevermind" and give yourself permission to pursue healing in your own way and in YOUR OWN TIME!  

One year ago on February 20, I lost my beautiful Mom, and I expect to carry the hole her death left in my heart for the rest of my life.    Some days are better, some are worse.  The journey is mine and is not the same as my sisters, my brother, or my Dad.  I gather strength from my memories of her and of her love for me and her hopes for my happiness.    I am sure your Dad had the same dreams for you.  Write here about your journey.  In addition to helping others, you are also helping yourself...Best wishes from someone who knows...... 

 

 

I felt the same way you do, it took a while to get some relief, i prayed a lot cried a lot, kept busy. The reason why I was able to cope was because of the promises in the Bible where God says: "He will actually swallow up death forever, and will certainly wipe the tears from all faces." (Isaiah 25:8) But he also promises a bringing back to life those who have died, a time when we can enjoy life together forever. This is the hope that helps me to cope with times like these and keeps me going. I hope it brings you comfort as it has for me.

 

 

I am so, deeply sadden and sorry for such a loss. And I know exactly how you feel. I lost my dad in Oct, I was 19 then, he was 47. It's still insanely hard to get through the day sometimes, when all you want to do is call them or talk to them, or even joke with them. My dad passed away very suddenly of an unknown illness (heart cancer). My life hasn't felt the same since. But you know, I appricate it alot more. Life is such an amazing blessing and can be taken away from you at any moment. And as for me, I'm healthy, which is more than I can say for a lot of people. I have so much ahead of me, (as do you) and I know my dad (and yours as well) is smiling down on me (and you) and guiding me wherever I go. And as for not walking you down the isle, or being able to see your kids, well he will be there. He's there with you right now, even if you feel him or not. He wants you to experience life, and all it has to offer, like he did at one time. He's half your DNA..he helped created you, and he wants to see his most beautiful and best creation put to good use! I honestly Know and believe that you will see him again, and that he sees you every moment of everyday.

 

The ONLY thing that keeps me going is knowing my daddy's with my Jesus! And that I may not have an earthly father , but I have a heavenly father who loves me more than words can imagine, and is side by side with my daddy, loving me and wanting the best for me, and that I WILL see him again, in a better and most beautiful place!

 

I hope my last words didn't 'strike a cord' with you you in anyway, it's the just the only way I know I now how to cope...I hope it helps you cope little bit too...

 

-Take care,

Anissa

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