I Miss My Loving Father Everyday!

I just find it really hard to believe that it is almost two years since I lost my father.

He passed on 4-8-09 and I am still feeling the hurt and loss everyday.

I was his fulltime caregiver 24/7 around the clock.

He was bedridden for over 11 months.

He had colon cancer, stroke, amputated leg, G-Tube and many other issues.

He was my Best Friend and I miss him very much.

It would be very nice to communicate with someone who also lost their father.

I do go to a grief support group 4 times a month but the people there have been mostly widows/widowers.

I am just looking for someone who also lost their father to talk with and share stories.

My friends who never had a loss cannot relate to me, but think that they can.

I am so tired of hearing comments from them like: It's time to move on, You should be relieved, It was a blessing, He is in a better place now.

How do they know?

They should only listen to what they are saying to me.

I know that they mean well but it would be better if they would just listen to me and not offer their comments and/or opinions.

Can anyone understand and relate to me?

Please Help!

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Permalink Reply by jen on April 11, 2011 at 12:36am

Kari, I'm so sorry you lost your dad. I lost mine just a little over 2 years ago as well. I'm still having a difficult time too- my experience was a little different in that my dad died very suddenly , and he was pretty healthy , though 82 years old. I live a very long way from my parents, so my mind doesn't really believe he is gone, I don't think. I just can't really fathom it, you know? I have not been back to their home since his funeral, and know I should.....I just don't want to be there knowing he isn't. My mom comes and visits us, but I know she feels bad I have not been back . I talk to her every day, and send her plane tickets to come visit a few times a year, but am not as close to her as I was my dad. He was cremated, and not buried- my mom still has his ashes and doesn't plan to bury him until she is buried with him. Being so far away, I just don't have any sense of closure, i guess- no grave to visit, and the part of me that just doesn't understand where he is. I have very strong faith, and know he is more than ok, I just miss him here. : ( jen

Permalink Reply by Monica Salisbury on April 19, 2011 at 7:25am

Kari,

I can relate. I lost my dad 5 months ago and i took care of him everyday. It saddens me everyday that he isnt here. I was his only daughter out of 4 kids and it is so hard planning my wedding in 4 months without him here to share in it. Over time the pain eases but nothing will fill the void we have in our hearts of them being gone.

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