For my Dad,

Dad, you have been gone since 2013, today. Time does not make it seem to get better.

I miss you so much,

I can still hear your laughter, your voice, your snore, and your sense of humor,

I miss your Sunday Sermons of long, long ago.

The wonderful words of wisdom that you delivered on my wedding day, a dream come true for me. Not every daughter gets to have their dad perform their wedding...something I had hoped for as a child and young adult...came true for me just as I had hoped. I was nervous and grouchy that day, did I ever say I was sorry? I meant to.

All the I'm sorrys I owe you that I never delivered to you and you were always so sweet to me. Why do I see this now, so late and far down the road?? I feel terrible at how I now see I treated you. You gave of yourself endlessly to me and I did not give the proper thank you.

Dad, I will always love you so much. When I see the butterflies, I say 'Thank you God' and think of you. When I see pennies in the parking lots, I think of you. I remember in years just before your passing, we were walking across a parking lot and out shot a handful of pennies over the back of your shoulder! I said, Dad! why are you throwing your pennies away?? You replied, oh, children like to find them! Yes they do dad, yes they do. This kid, adult kid, always thinks of you, dad when she finds pennies in a parking lot.

I love you dad,

Robbin

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Replies to This Discussion

What a sweet tribute to your dad. Mine has been gone 1 year. Memories are triggered when I see dead trees or shacks because he was an artist who painted these subjects. I miss him everyday too. I think of the good times we shared and keep a few favorite candid photos where I can glance at them and say Hi Dad.

Thank you Sandra. I am sorry to hear that you just lost your dad a year ago. Grief work is perhaps the toughest work a person can do I think. My favorites are old windmills and old barns. I know what you mean tho. Take gentle care of you, ok?

Robbun
 
Sandra E. Byrd said:

What a sweet tribute to your dad. Mine has been gone 1 year. Memories are triggered when I see dead trees or shacks because he was an artist who painted these subjects. I miss him everyday too. I think of the good times we shared and keep a few favorite candid photos where I can glance at them and say Hi Dad.

I have never been in any group on the computer before.  I would like to link up with Sandra and Robbun because I just had services for my Dad last Saturday.  I feel so lost and so empty.  We were very close we talked everyday by fax sometime more, we visited a minimum of one time a week in my home and my married daughter was having a family dinner at her house one time per month as we knew Dad would not be with us to much longer he was 97 years old and very frail.  I miss him so much.  We had a terrible time just trying to get thru the funeral that is a very long story it is like the perfect storm hit yet we had to go on.

Oh my name is Barbara  You both understand I know after reading what you wrote.  about your Dads and your feelings.  I don't know how this discussion group works I have never done a face book thing before but I hope we can chat some I feel so lost and empty.

Barbara  mrskirby@Comcast.net

Welcome to the group Barbara. I'd be glad to read anytime you'd like to reach out. I'm sorry for you losing your dad. Even old age and frailty doesn't make it easier for those who are left to miss them. My dad died without warning at 87. I found him in his bed a few hours after he died. My mom died 3 years earlier in the next room after a 3 yr nightmare of severe dementia and helplessness. I cared for both being the nurse and the only person willing to do it. My dad was an artist by profession so I am surrounded by his creations. It's a great comfort to me but I sure do miss his loving presence in my life. He strongly believed in Jesus and I do too so we will be together again someday forever. Be kind to yourself, any emotions are normal in grief. Sometimes writing in a journal, even as a letter to the loved one can help.

Hi Barbara. You are doing great. Don't worry about never being in a group before. This is a safe place where you can express your feelings and talk about your loss(es). You will get support here and may make friends. This group of people is safe so I think whatever groups you choose to join you will find supportive.

I am very sorry for your loss of your dad. I do know how it hurts. Anniversaries seem to hurt real bad too. Take good care of you...

God Bless...

Sandra thank you for welcoming me to your group.  You are one remarkable daughter taking care of both of your parents.  I had a favorite Aunt that had to be put in a care facility for Alzheimer patients.  I did learn a lot about the condition each time I visited her and I did read up on it.  She was in the late stages so I do have some knowledge of the care you tried to provide for your Mother.  It is very sad to see them go thru the different stages; then to loose your Dad in only 3 years apart that seems way to close in time you still have not healed from your MOM yet.

What type of art did your Dad like to paint?  You probably have some fond memories of watching him take a blank piece of canvas and turning it into something over the top wonderful.  Did any of your Dad's talent rub off onto you?  My Dad and I also love the Lord, he has been our rock for many years.  My B-Day and Easter are coming up and I already told my husband I do not want to celebrate either one but then as I think of it more I have to find a way to change my attitude as I have a grandson who will still want to have fun on that day he and his parents always have come to my house for the Easter Egg hunt and find their baskets and have  a nice family day.  I am glad we could talk about our parents together I also was the only one to assist my Dad, Mother & Step-mom for the past 48 years. I guess it is time for me to make some changes and begin to live the rest of my life find some new interests and make some new friends like YOU.  GOD IS GOOD.  Your response did help me.   Thank You Sandra   Barbara       
 
Sandra E. Byrd said:

Welcome to the group Barbara. I'd be glad to read anytime you'd like to reach out. I'm sorry for you losing your dad. Even old age and frailty doesn't make it easier for those who are left to miss them. My dad died without warning at 87. I found him in his bed a few hours after he died. My mom died 3 years earlier in the next room after a 3 yr nightmare of severe dementia and helplessness. I cared for both being the nurse and the only person willing to do it. My dad was an artist by profession so I am surrounded by his creations. It's a great comfort to me but I sure do miss his loving presence in my life. He strongly believed in Jesus and I do too so we will be together again someday forever. Be kind to yourself, any emotions are normal in grief. Sometimes writing in a journal, even as a letter to the loved one can help.

Robbin I loved reading what you said about your relationship with your Dad.  I know this is a bitter sweet day for you.  How fabulous to have your Dad perform your wedding that is very special. How many years have you been married.  I have been married for 56 years and my Dad gave me a beautiful wedding with all the trimmings which he never had when he married my MOM but they did set a wonderful example for us they were childhood sweethearts. Dad just past away a month ago and I am really having a hard time moving forward.  I love the idea your Dad had with the pennies.  He sounds like a man that liked to bring Joy and laughter to others.  I guess it is nice to have a little quite time to reflect on the many things our Dad's shared with us while we were still together,  part of them live on in our hearts forever. God Bless You Robbin..Your new friend Barbara

Hi Barbara, thanks for your kind words. My dad created in many mediums. Acrylics, oils, water colors, pen and ink drawings. Some abstract designs, mostly landscapes and nature scenes he'd photograph or sketch then later alter to his desire. He always recognized his talent as a gift from God and included that in any article about him. I do not have his talent. I create with yarn and needlework as did my mother. I'm so glad I was physically able to care for them. It was a daily prayer believe me. I have Muscular Dystrophy so my mom was a real challenge. I did have a wonderful Polish aide helping me part of the time because my dads income could cover it. Without it I don't think I would have lasted. My parents were married 61 years and I know my dad wanted to be with her. He died 5 days after her birthday. She died 5 days after his. Together forever.

WOW Sandra, that is almost like a sign that each of them died exactly 5 days after each of their B-Days. Think of the odds of that happening with any other couple.  I think it is like a message to you that they are together now and they are OK.  Birthdays are usually happy times.  They had the real thing LOVE.  My Dad lived a long and exciting life with many personal interest right up to the end. He was well traveled, loved to read and do cross word puzzles, went thru various hobbies like: bowling, golfing, fishing, motorcycle riding with a small group of men, belong to two weekly cribbage clubs (card playing) Deacon at his Church, lived independently in his own home, and loved people, and trips out to restaurants. We spoke daily to each other and he visited my house once a week for cards & dinner. I think your Dad must have studied a lot of years on the different forms of art as it takes a lot of time to develop the skills in the many different ways your Dad was able to paint using different textures and products. Before I retired I use to be a private music teacher there are a lot of similarities in the disciplines of art and of music.  I taught Piano, Organ and keyboard.  When my Dad lost my mother I helped fill his empty spot and heart break by getting him an organ and teaching him how to play.  He spent many hours playing he especially liked to play the older Christian music.  Can you put up a picture of one of your Dad's pictures and one of your hand worked  pieces on the computer that you especially like? I would love to see them.  You both had found wonderful ways to express yourselves in positive ways that is good.  I am sure you each admired each others talent.  I had a friend that was very good with needlepoint and she entered her work in the Sacramento county fair and she won 2nd place with her entrée.  At the time she was in her 90s pretty amazing.  So Sandra are you still adjusting and trying to find ways to cope from the loss of both parents?  That must have been ever so traumatic for you did you have a good support system or family that could help you in those most difficult days?  I thought it was hard loosing my Dad but yours was so much more difficult. I am glad that I just stumbled onto this Legacy site it has been so helpful having someone to talk to and I have had some good suggestions from some of you Thank You.  Got to go to bed I hope to hear from you soon; have a great week!!

Barbara
 
Sandra E. Byrd said:

Hi Barbara, thanks for your kind words. My dad created in many mediums. Acrylics, oils, water colors, pen and ink drawings. Some abstract designs, mostly landscapes and nature scenes he'd photograph or sketch then later alter to his desire. He always recognized his talent as a gift from God and included that in any article about him. I do not have his talent. I create with yarn and needlework as did my mother. I'm so glad I was physically able to care for them. It was a daily prayer believe me. I have Muscular Dystrophy so my mom was a real challenge. I did have a wonderful Polish aide helping me part of the time because my dads income could cover it. Without it I don't think I would have lasted. My parents were married 61 years and I know my dad wanted to be with her. He died 5 days after her birthday. She died 5 days after his. Together forever.
Barbara, I don't know how to put up photos here like you asked for. I'm a novice at that. I have won ribbons at our local Fall fair for my various needlework pieces. My dad was an art teacher in a city high school for 30 years as well as an artist. Many of his works hang around his town, his church and retirement homes. He donated them. My mom played the piano very well, also a little on the organ. She especially liked classical and church music. My dad and I spent many hours listening to the old hymns and singing along. You wondered about how I'm dealing with the loss of both within 3 years. I'm doing well I think. My daughter is the one who I can talk to most easily about them, especially my dad. She helped me and I helped her in the initial shock. Her 2 little boys also talk about him frequently. The older one seems to have talent and passion for art too. My dad and him used to color together. Great photos of that. Anyway, it seems we have a lot in common. It's good to share with someone who understands. There are some very kind people in Legacy.

Hi Sandra,

It was so good to hear from you, I have been thinking about some of our recent conversations and I do so appreciate talking with you.  I think we do have a lot in common too.  This past six months I have taken more pictures of my grandson who is 91/2 years old playing cards with my Dad and it warms my heart each time I look at the pictures watching them having fun together and remembering what a wonderful day it was visiting my Dad in his home and having lunch together and enjoying the day.  Dad so looked forward to our visits especially my daughter and her son. I really miss our daily phone calls and Weds. are tough because he always came to my house to play cribbage in the afternoon and we would have dinner together. Wed. was always his day we both would not let anything get in the way of those special visits.  How are you doing today?  Are you managing the holidays or is it still hard for you.  Easter is very early this year, I am going to try to focus on still making a fun Easter for my grandson with Church, then a Easter egg hunt at my house for him then maybe go out for an Easter Brunch at a local restaurant That is my plan this is the very first holiday without my Dad I will try to focus on doing good things for others and maybe that will help me.  I am still learning how to do pictures and attachments on the computer myself, this year I got a fancy smart phone and I am also still learning how to use it's features it has been intimating for me, My grandson is all over my tablet I have been trying to do that too.  All these devices are great once you learn how to use them. I have never done a Facebook and look I took a chance and tried to figure out how to use Legacy  thanks to you I have made a very special friend You and a few others that have been a BIG help to me coping with my Dad's recent passing. There are some really passionate and caring people in our group. I hope when I get a little farther along with my healing that I can be helpful to others in their early stages.  You and the group have been very uplifting to me. Thank YOU   Barbara 

 

I am very sorry for all your losses :(  I have never been in a group and Im trying to figure my way around

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