My mother had colon cancer. she fought it for three years. last night at 10 pm she is finally pain free. that i am grateful for. the last two weeks were so long and very hard. she wanted to stay at home. so my sis dad and i took care of her. it was so confusing when she lost her appetite. the nurse said it was ok but it was just weird to us. she mumbled a lot i knew she was trying to talk to us. it was so frustrating. one night i was laying in bed with her and i just start bawling. she turned to me reached her hand out put it on my cheek and said "whats wrong?" it surprised me. i said " i am gonna miss you when you go" she said " go where?" thats when i knew she would always be with me. i sat with her all day yesterday. rolling her every half hour. i just kept telling her its ok mom. you can go. its ok. her brother finnally got the courage to come see her. as she was asking for for weeks. she reached out to him. she amazes me how strong she was. then we settled down for the night. around 9:30 i was talking to my boyfriend i told him "i just dont want her to be in pain anymore." then my dad comes down at ten tells me shes gone. we all hugged each other and called family. i layed by her side holding her hand bawling for two hours until they came and took her from us. i know she is with me but still i feel numb and empty. the house is so quiet without her laughter. its hard because she is my best friend and the only person i trusted. everyone else i always have a wall up. but with her it was so easy to be myself. i just dont  how to do anything anymore.

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I'm sorry for your loss. My Mom passed away on December 16,2009. She was my best friend. I know she is still there for me and she is no longer in pain, but I miss her so much. Many times, I feel her presence and I know that I, along with my daughter and granddaughter have a special guardian angel watching over us.
Bless your heart, Stace.  The funeral will be difficult...just put yourself on autopilot and get it all done.  Then you'll have time to organize your thoughts and get on with letting yourself grieve.  Don't bottle up feelings.  When you need to cry...just cry.   Talk about her to anyone who will listen and remember all the times and stories that made you love her.  It is the natural order.  Parents are supposed to predecease the children.  Sometimes it seems too soon.  In my case, I am 57 and Mama was 95 in December, 2010 when she departed this life.  In spite of all the years we had, it never seems like enough.  We get so busy living our lives we don't realize until it is too late that we have not given our parents enough of our time.  But that is what they wish for us.  They appreciate any time you share with them and want you to live and be happy.  Make her proud by living your life as she would wish for you.
Bless your heart, Stace.  The funeral will be difficult...just put yourself on autopilot and get it all done.  Then you'll have time to organize your thoughts and get on with letting yourself grieve.  Don't bottle up feelings.  When you need to cry...just cry.   Talk about her to anyone who will listen and remember all the times and stories that made you love her.  It is the natural order.  Parents are supposed to predecease the children.  Sometimes it seems too soon.  In my case, I am 57 and Mama was 95 in December, 2010 when she departed this life.  In spite of all the years we had, it never seems like enough.  We get so busy living our lives we don't realize until it is too late that we have not given our parents enough of our time.  But that is what they wish for us.  They appreciate any time you share with them and want you to live and be happy.  Make her proud by living your life as she would wish for you.
So sorry Stace Ann for your loss! My Mom passed September last year and I am still not quite right! But hope to be okay someday. You will be rather "numb" and in shock for awhile. My mom was sick--had diabetes and heart condition so her passing was not really a surprise. As Jennette here said our Moms are at peace and I believe with the Lord and that gives some comfort. But I miss her dearly every single day!

Regards

Frank.

 

Stace:  I lost my mother like your mom back in 85 she was only 53 and was in alot of pain, but she was my bestfriend and i wasn't glad she left you will feel numb for a long time, I don't know how old you are I was 21 when my mom past, and i went wild because i was so angry, my dad past this past august at 87 he had cancer we got to bring him home to die he got to be with his grandchildren for almost 2 weeks before he really didn't know anyone anymore, those were  the day i treasure so much, he wanted to die he was old and was ready to die a longtime ago, his birthday was november 20 he would have been 88 the day befoe his

birthday my youngest son 17 was killed in a auto accident 500 ft from our house, even though i did relate at one one about your mom I can relate now with you about my dad and my son, its been almost 6 months for my dad and 3 months for my son, and some days go by ok but then other times you feel like you just can't move lean on people around you, you seem to have great family and that will help you also, try not to put that wall up again, I can tell you that even though she isn't here she is still with you and as my son does and now i look back and know my mom did to they will give you signs they are still with you maybe not in body but their spirit is standing by you right now.

 

Terri

I can barely write this I am crying so hard....my mom died Feb 5 of colon, liver and lung cancer and I saw the same signs, she could barely eat or speak, she was talking to people I couldnt see, wow our experiences are a lot alike Id like to talk to you more but I cant stop bawling right now

Stace so sorry for your loss. I feel your pain. My Dad passed away September 1, 2010 and I still can't get over it. But I try to remember all the good memories I have with him. He was a wonderful Dad and my best friend. Yesterday he would of turned 86 and that was a difficult day for me but I know I will heal in time. I know in my heart he doesn't want me to be sad. He always said Death is a part of life. Celebrate her life and keep your good memories of her close and time will do the rest.

Anna Marie Burg

dear stace ann,  i am sitting here, crying with you.  i know how you feel about you mom being your best friend and the only person that you could count on, no matter what you did.  my mom died in 2008. she had lung cancer. they wouldnt listen to her, and when they decided to, she was stage 4a. we didnt get much time together, but we never discussed the "end".  it is very hard to watch them suffering. i had one parent go in seconds out of the blue, and one that suffered.  i dont know which is worse. being surprised with a sudden death, or having time to try to "deal" with it.   it is amazing how strong our mothers are. they are so amazing.  you have to be the "adult" now. we arent the "child" anymore. its a strange adjustment. 

i dont know what to say. except that i know how you feel, we all know how you feel.  the people here will give you support and love.

let us know when you need some support.  you can email me too, if you want.

take care, hang in there,

hugs,

paige

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am so sorry. My mother passed six years ago from cancer. We took care of her at home also. She was also my best friend so I do know the loss you feel...not only a mother but a best friend in the whole world. My father just passed a month ago. He actually saw my mom before he passed and he saw a lot of people. He said so many things that I know he and my mother are together again and that brings me some relief but the sadness is always there. I held my dad's hand when he passed and he opened his eyes, and gave a huge smile...then  he was gone. I held his hand also and cried until the funeral home arrived. The loss never goes away. I have a huge empty hole in my heart and it will always be there. Life goes on...the pain never goes away but you adjust and learn to live with it. I am sorry for your loss. Julie.

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