My mom passed on June 14th. After a long and tiring battle with liver cancer that she was diagnosed with in Oct. of 2010.
I miss her terribly. I feel like I have honestly misplaced a piece of my heart. I am not sure how to grieve properly. I have been asked numerous times "How are you functioning right now?" My only answer is "it is better this way"
Is it really better? I am not sure. I am lost. I feel like I am making myself get out of bed, to take a shower, even do little chores around the house. I feel as if everyone around me doesn't understand. My husband I feel expects me to just "get up and go" I just can't. I have lost all motivation to thrive.
I know that my mom would not want this for me. How do I go on? How do I function without her? How do I get through the day without longing to call her?
I have only cried twice. The night she passed and the day of her funeral. Is that enough? Have I cried enough? I feel like I am not grieving like I should. I feel like I am just here.
I close my eyes and I see my mom. So it is easier to just stay awake. I went and saw a Dr. on Tuesday who prescribed me Ambien. It seems to knock me out and I still wake up not rested and just like a zombie. Is this normal?
Will I ever be right again? Will it ever feel like my heart is not shattered in pieces?