Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Francis Valente III on November 5, 2010 at 11:11am

Hi Jodi! So sorry for your loss! I lost my Mom in September so I totally feel some of your pain! I just printed out a picture of Mom I had on a computer and she looked so sweet and happy. I have been weeping all week. I often feel she may just be "away" somewhere and coming home! I am an adult who did live with my folks for support and financial reasons so her loss have been devastating to me! My Dad is still alive so thank god for that!

I do not know what really to say to you--what can anyone really say? The process of mourning is very personal to each person. I just keep saying to myself--my Mom would have wanted me to be happy and not let my mourning for her ruin the rest of my life. Go on but remember her with joy and a smile! That is all I can say.

regards Frank.

Permalink Reply by CARMELLA MILICIA on November 7, 2010 at 6:57am

Jodi ,I also feel your pain ,reading what you wrote could have been me I lost my mom in Oct on the 10 2010.
I miss my mom so much I would eat breakfast and lunch everyday i am 53 we talked we laughed we joke we told secrets i have 5 sisters my baby sister did move in with my mom and take care of her she was very sick after her death 4 of my sister will not speak to us beacause she left us as the Personal Representative of her Estate.
I hear a song I cry i see or think of something and cry itis hard but I will try everyday and when the time comes I willl be able to smile with no tears when I think of her smile
Carmella

Permalink Reply by Helen Good on November 7, 2010 at 4:33pm

Jodi :) How wonderful that you were so close to your mom. I can imagine what a amazeing women she was, just by what and how you are feeling. I am going through this with my dad. Same thing, he was my everything..just like how you were with your mom. I too am is so much pain, but I am learning a few things. 1st...we are suppose to be like this, They were important people in our lives and when you are lucky enough to have someone like that, well..lets face it..you just want it to last forever. You are going to be sad, you are going to feel lonely, you have to go threw all this alone. I know I can be around my sisters and still feel alone. I am saying this to you because you need to understand that it is a normal reaction to greif. At least I hope so, because i am still a mess myself. :)

The way i see it.. I needed to stop with the "I dont know what to do" I did that for 6 months. I know what to do, my Dad taught me . I am not going to let him down. He would never have wanted me to cry every day, he would want me to be happy and be with my family and do the best I could . Do you have time to morn? I ask because my sister has little ones and when you have to also be a mom, it is very hard. You need to be strong, yet you just want to yell at the world .

With that being said..what was your mom like? Was she funny, smart, warm, careing...are you like her? You should consider takeing everything she has showen you and be that way for your kids. Thats what she would want you to do..right? When a daughter has a mom that is so close, it is a beautiful thing and one that you need to teach your children. You are more together than you give yourself credit for. I would be more worried if you didnt cry..she was your mom, your suppose to and you cant put a time limit on it. It is going to take as long as it takes. I know..I am living it too. You have your whole life to live, a family that is counting on you , one day you will tell your kids some wonderful stories about her and they will always feel close to her as you always will.

Permalink Reply by ali on November 10, 2010 at 1:00pm

I am so sorry for your loss. I would like to offer you a light at the end of the tunnel. My mom passed away Dec. 17, 2009. I, too was with her as much as possible. We would be on the phone at least 5 times a day, I would call just to talk groceries or we we meet and go shopping. I still miss her like crazy, but I am starting to accept that she could not be with me forever and being blessed with children has provided me with the strength I need to keep going. I lost my dad Sept. 2007 so I often find myself talking to them both when I am alone. And every once in a while I will hear or see something that makes me think of them and I smile. They were both wonderful and I will miss them everyday. I am in my early 30's so I thought my kids would have their grandparents for a while at least, but they will not even remember my parents as they are still so young. Lean on your friends and the family you have, they will help you pull through. My best friend listens to me everytime I need her. That will never replace my mom, but it does help the lonliness go away. Keep up with others that have lost their mothers it does help to share your story and to talk about your mom. Take care of yourself.

Permalink Reply by ali on November 10, 2010 at 1:00pm

I am so sorry for your loss. I would like to offer you a light at the end of the tunnel. My mom passed away Dec. 17, 2009. I, too was with her as much as possible. We would be on the phone at least 5 times a day, I would call just to talk groceries or we we meet and go shopping. I still miss her like crazy, but I am starting to accept that she could not be with me forever and being blessed with children has provided me with the strength I need to keep going. I lost my dad Sept. 2007 so I often find myself talking to them both when I am alone. And every once in a while I will hear or see something that makes me think of them and I smile. They were both wonderful and I will miss them everyday. I am in my early 30's so I thought my kids would have their grandparents for a while at least, but they will not even remember my parents as they are still so young. Lean on your friends and the family you have, they will help you pull through. My best friend listens to me everytime I need her. That will never replace my mom, but it does help the lonliness go away. Keep up with others that have lost their mothers it does help to share your story and to talk about your mom. Take care of yourself.

Permalink Reply by Arlene Camarena on November 10, 2010 at 3:32pm

Hello Jodi...you hang in there. I know how hard life can be for you right now. I lost my mom Oct. 12, 2010. She was a happy and healthy 57 year old woman....and we had her one day and she was gone the next. I am 34 years old and have small children of my own...and my mom helped me out all the time with my girls who are 5 and 7. Sometimes I feel it's unfair that I lost my mom so soon and that my girls are never going to see their grandma again.... But, all we can so is keep her memory alive in our hearts...and go on with our lives for our own children...cause I know thats what my mom would want me to do. Girl I know it is soooo painful, but hang in there. @~

Permalink Reply by Henry Sawicki Jr on November 13, 2010 at 1:02am

Hi Jodi,

I lost my Mom last November 3, 2009. I was also the baby, and she was my best friend too! we also went shopping, movies, lunch, since we lived in the same city and only about 5 minutes from each other I saw her every day and stll talked on the phone several times a day. I never got married so, IM by myself, and a year later I still cry all the time! It does pretty much sucks! and I too miss her more then words can say!
but, I totaly and completely agree with Francis who left a reply: that no doubt that our Momma;s would want us to be happy and not let mourning ruin our lives! Just know that your not alone! God Bless!