I lost my mum on 23rd January this year and I have been a total wreck since she was my best friend the only person in the world I could trust, we did so much together and I had been her carer since she had a fall 4 years ago. I miss her all the time and as time goes on it goes worse I keep thinking she will be coming back I have so many things to tell her.  I go to the cemetery every day, my dad is there as well, I know he will be looking after her but I want her here with me, I cannot imagine going through life and never seeing my mum again I just live from day to day not daring to look forward as its too painful I wonder if it will ever get any easier.

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Dear Lynda,

Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your mother.

You have always been a good daughter and appreciated by those who know you for doing all that you have done.

Actually the way you are living day to day has been recommended to live one day at a time. Also, to be in the present moment. Then we will be able to focus on what ever it is that is at hand to do in during that day.

Yes, I understand that you think of your mum everyday and miss her. I have a card from my mother and she wrote: "I'll always be with you!" And she is since she passed in November 2012. There are things I want to tell her too. There was one thing I just never had time to tell her. It's really kind of ironic but not real important. However it's a treasured story for me and my husband to share at times.   Indeed, I know what you mean about going through life not seeing a special person again. I don't know how you feel about attending a bereavement group. Sometimes it helps people that attend but often everyone doesn't attend such a group. It all depends on the kind of life you have had and live at this time.

If you decide to speak with me and open up a little bit I may be able to help a little bit; it's up to you.

Sincerely, Barbara

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my father in November of 2010 and mom in January of 2015. I have noticed when someone close to you passes people will always say "it gets easier in time" which for me personally is not true. I don't think it ever gets easier to grieve for someone you love very much. You life can never go back to the way that it was.

That doesn't mean that you can't find a new happiness in your life, it just takes time. You have to re-learn how to live without that person in your life. You do so by taking it one day at a time. There will be good days and bad days. You just have to learn to take each day as it comes. Also don't compare your grief to others who are grieving because we all go through it differently. I think too man people people worry about how they should grieve, or what what stage they should be within the "process".

In the end you just have to accept that this is hard, and do your best each day to get through it. I know she would want you to continue on. For most of us our parents worked hard throughout their life to give us everything we had and to make us who we are. It is hard as heck to have to carry on without them, but by doing so we honor everything they did for us in life. Always try and focus on the good times, never get down on yourself for how you are currently feeling, and remember that one day you will be together again and she is always with you. Sending hugs.

Hi Lynda,

My name is Lori Sherry. I'm so sorry about your mom and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

I lost my dad on July 3rd of 2010 and I have had a hard time recently.He was there for me when I was sick and in the hospital and I trusted him. Unfortunately, we didn't do a whole lot together but, we did some things.

He went into the hospital as he had heart problems and he came home and he just got worse. I was the main one that took care of him as my mom had to work. I miss him a LOT as I have two WONDERFUL volunteer jobs and he volunteered also when he could and I think of him and miss him so much.

We go to the cemetery on special days. I live day by day.

It does get easier with time.

Lori Sherry

Thank you so much Lori for your reply It is nice to hear of others who have been through and are still feeling the pain that you are feeling.  I am glad you said that it does get easier as at the moment that does not feel it will ever happen, my mum went away  7 months and I still think she is going to come back, I miss her so much.

Lynda Baron With Thanks

Lynda, I am so sorry for your loss. I cant even begin to imagine the pain that you are feeling with losing your mum. I lost my dad in death 4 years ago, and it has been hard to deal with. There are so many days when you want to share something with your parent, but they are no longer with you. One thing that has helped me out tremendously is the hope found in the Bible.  John 5:28,29 and Revelation 21:4 has brought me so much comfort. When you get a chance read those scriptures in your bible and go to www.jw.org

Hi Lynda, I too am sorry for your loss and know personally what dealing with the loss of a father is.  I have so many moments , little things really that come up, and wish he were here to share them with him.  I end up realizing that many of these "moments" have to do with my own children and little snippets of life that pop up along their road to growing up.  I share the same thoughts as Cheryl above and have found comfort in the Bible's hope.  My hope, as found and based on the 'Bible is that i have the opportunity to see,greet,hug,kiss my dad, physically, in the flesh.  This of course is referring to the resurrection as found in the Bible.  There were actually 9 of them with eyewitnesses recorded.  One of the noteworthy ones was that of Lazarus, as he was dead 4 days before being brought back to life by Jesus and this was in front of a large crowd. (John 11:39,42) The Bible shows that God has both the ability and the desire to reunite us with our lost loved ones.  I'm counting on it and that is what helps get me through certain times when i'm extra despondent.  So the opportunity is there for the taking.  I hope you are able to find a measure of comfort now till we see our lost loved ones again.   

Hello Lynda, I do truly understand your pain and what you are experiencing.  As, I lost both of my parents and I still feel the deep pain associated with the lost of my parents.  No matter how much time goes by - we never accept the fact that they are no longer here.  What happens - it become copeable - if there is such a word.  We just cope but that pain re-surface at times we least expect.  Our parent is rooted at the core of our being and we love them dearly and when they are gone - we truly miss them.  I spoke with my parents practically every day and how I miss that.  My heart will always long for them.  At times I feel alone and I feel a deep void.  No one - absolutely no one - can take the place of your parents.  I also understand your pain Lynda - because your mother was also your best friend.  Yes, I truly do understand - do not feel that there will be a day when the pain will no longer be there.  For they are a part of our being.  We will always feel their love and I mean unconditional love.  So, try not to focus when it will no longer hurt but embrace the time you had with them - knowing that they will ALWAYS have a place in your heart for them.  I have faith that soon I will be able to be re-united with my parents as promised by our Heavenly Father.  So, Lynda if you have any questions, please feel free to e-mail me.  You enjoy your day!!

Hi Lynda, I do know how you feel. You will never get rid of the pain, but it will be easier. Don't be so hard on yourself, you just lost her. It has only been three to four months. I lost my mom in 2011 and then my dad in 2012. I thought I would be able to handle it because being a nurse I knew how to grieve and have counseled many bereaved individuals. I knew I would miss them and have a hard time, but I wasn't ready for the emotions that come with it. They were my parents, confidants and emotional support for me and my children as I am divorced. My mom was 89 and my dad was 97 when they passed away. It has been five years for my dad and six for my mom. Their birthdays were in March. This year has been a hard year. It feels like I just lost them. One thing I know is that grief comes in waves. Sometimes you will feel like moving on and then it hits you like a ton of bricks and you say " Oh, my God", when will I get better. You will get better, but you won 't forget and that is why there will be times it will feel like you just lost them. You are not alone. We on this site are with you. I don't know you in person, but I feel your pain. Cry it out and talk about it as much as you can. Don't let anyone tell you that you should be able to move on. You will, in your own time. May God bless you and if it is okay with you, I will pray for you. I know how hard this is. Until we talk again.

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