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loss of a parent

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Time is not healing loss of my best friend, my mum

Started by Lynda Baron. Last reply by Louise Hayes Jun 21, 2018. 9 Replies

My Story

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Family secrets cloud the grief

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Comment by TammyDHU on July 21, 2013 at 3:49pm

it has been a little over a year since my father passed.  I still feel the pain and no closure in the past for his deeds and misdeeds.  I am beginning to realize by now that I may never have the closure I desire in my life, but I still need to look after myself.  The hurt goes on and on, but I am finding ways to deal with it a bit better...

Comment by Lil on July 20, 2013 at 11:13pm

Hi Shannon,

Your message moved me to tears.  I felt like I had written it word-for-word.  I lost the best person in my life with no warning on July 26, 2010.  My dad collapsed in our driveway and died of a skull fracture, alone in the dark on the ground.  It happened a few weeks before his 70th birthday, but he was physically fit, healthy, happy-go-lucky, and full of energy.  Every year in the weeks leading to Father's Day until the anniversary of his death is so painful for me.  He could have lived another decade, so for you to lose your dad at only 47 must be unbearable.  You said that you have so much to tell him, maybe it would help telling him by yourself at his gravesite or in a journal.  The main things that have helped me are therapy and the support of loved ones.  Don't shut yourself down, they love you and want you to get better.  It took me 3 years to really process his death.  Don't feel rushed that you're not just "over it."  It's okay for it to take a long time to heal.

Comment by Brenda on July 6, 2013 at 4:07pm
Before I lost my Mom (Feb. 2007), I was working, looking for new Experiences in work life. I needed a change of direction. Both in Life and work. But Mom died. Not sudden, but not quick either. My Sisters (2), 1 Brother, and my Mom's Sister all made it in time to say goodbye. She died @ 3:35* am two days after I found her unconscious. Since my Mom died, my health which was not good anyways went further down hill. Now Six yrs. later I'm living in an Assistive Living place my second since Nov. 30th. 2012. Since that time of Mom's death I've lost the last two remaing family member who loved me. 1. My Mom's Mom, my Grandma who I loved with as much love as I loved my Mom, my grandma died Apri 2011. 2. I lost my Hearing Ear Guide Dog, but for a good reason. He retired, he crossed over from a working guide dog to a much more relaxing job of being someone else's pet. He went back to the school, where I got him from, and from there he was adopted out, to a great Family. He retired Dec. 2012. So I'm not doing to great right now. My health is failing, I may have another serious condition. Need tests first to figure it out.
Comment by Shannon on July 2, 2013 at 12:24am

I lost my dad last year on Easter morning. It was a not expected at all, he was not sick, still young 47 but suffered a heart attack. Meaning he was taken so abruptly i feel like i never got to say goodbye to him. I have so much to tell him and i cant/ I feel like i have such a pain in my heart that revolves around him i cannot get over it. I keep bottling it up so i dont show my kids or my mother who by the way is taking it so hard. I feel my strength is going to turn into me exploding of emotional feelings with cries sooner or later. I need advice to help me grieve I know its been a year but i feel that i haven't grieve or really let this sink in because i am avoiding to let it hit me. I feel alone sometimes, i don't think anyone around me can understand how i am feeling inside. I am heartbroken, sad and emotional mess over this. I need guidance and support, but i do need help too. Thank you for listening.

Comment by Janine on June 23, 2013 at 12:30pm

Lost my Mom four years ago tomorrow and my Dad in 1991.  I am still grieving my Mom. I know the pain will get better but today there are still more tears than happy memories. I know others are in the same boat.  Have a peaceful Sunday all.

 

Comment by Susan Trimble Flowers on June 20, 2013 at 6:47am

How do you recover when you have lost a parent that was your best friend and your hero? My Dad has been gone almost 6 months and when I really think about it I feel like I have been punched in the stomach and can't breathe. Everyone keeps telling me it will get better and that I will learn to live a "new" life. It seems so easy when people give advice but it's not that easy.

 

Comment by denise baicich on June 18, 2013 at 10:54pm

I lost both parents withing 3 years of each other..dad was expected so we had time to prepare . but mom wasn't .It just happened..and I wasnt there to say good bye.she was my best friend, my confidant, but mist of all my mom..IT IS REALLY HEARD ...

Comment by Fran Darms on June 16, 2013 at 4:17pm

I miss my father, Howard, still so very much. His 2 year anniversary of his Home Going is only a few weeks away, 6/29. We had an extraordinary father/daughter relationship ... which makes it so much harder to bear. I lost my mom 7 yrs before that. I've learned that the grief really never goes away, it just gets a little easier to bear with the passing of time. What I have learned from their loss and my grief, that no matter how many relationships or friendships I've had, or how many people declare how much I mean or have meant to them, the only true constants in my life were my parents. Their love for me surpassed any other demonstrated by other people in my life including family. No matter my failings or shortcomings, I could count on them being there for me no matter what. I will never be convinced otherwise. I truly look forward to the time that we'll hug and be together again. Happy Father's Day in Heaven, Pop! Love you!

Comment by Kim Hopkins on June 16, 2013 at 12:44pm

Happy Father's Day Daddy!!! I love you and miss you.....

Comment by Colleen Pasay on June 16, 2013 at 10:02am

 

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