loss of a parent

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Time is not healing loss of my best friend, my mum

Started by Lynda Baron. Last reply by Louise Hayes Jun 21, 2018. 9 Replies

My Story

Started by LauraAnnetteR. Last reply by Diamond Sep 24, 2016. 6 Replies

Family secrets cloud the grief

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Comment by Debbie on October 1, 2009 at 6:47am
Hi my name is Debbie and I am very new at this! My father passed away March 11th 2009 and it has been the hardest thing for me to deal with. The hardest part is not knowing how or why he died, he was only 63. His cancer had come back but they said that is not what killed him then the hospital dropped the ball and never did the autopsy and all we got from the chief of staff was we are soo sorry for what happened that night and we don't know for sure what killed your dad... nice huh....... I feel all alone because no one around me has lost a parent so they don't understand. My mom and sister and husband are worried because often i wrap up in my daddy's blanket i got him, his pillow i made him(sprayed with his cologne) and holding his picture then i will cry myself to sleep.... any suggestions???? I know he wouldn't want me like this but i don't know how to get out of it...
Comment by IRISH MAE OSMENA on September 30, 2009 at 5:03am
hi i loss my dad last september 17...he suffered of lung cancer which complicates into a bone cancer..i saw all his pain a lot and i heared all his shout for help for the terrible pain..we are all so hopeless and we cant helped him than to cry in silent..we are a broken family so we are only the one taking care of our father in the absence of our mom..but the doctor tell us the we will still be spending christmas with him as long as his medication will be in time...but he passed away last september 17,2009 maybe he cant stand the pain anymore..he give up. i have lots of regrets not attending his last breath because i was in school attending my daughters meeting.when i arrived in hospital my dad is dead now.but still the doctors trying to get back his pulse and heartbeat but its too late na...i hug him so much and i said soory for my absence...
now he was burried last september 27.2009.i cant believe that he left us, its really painful to see him buried under the ground but its part of our life ,death comes and my dad's time has just come..i missed him..i have lots of things to say to him but i guess its too late im just reminiscing all the funny memories we had...we all missed him its been only 2 weeks and its a like a century to us...i still hoping that this is just our worst nightmare and i want to wake up now...i missed my papa so much and i dont know how to control this really hurting...i need a friend here who feels the same in me..add me a new member here and this website helps me a lot to express the wounds in my from the irish bythe way....God bless!!1
Comment by Don on September 28, 2009 at 10:15pm
Today is Moms Birthday. Shes been gone 5 weeks. Didn't think I would get thru today. But it went better tahn I thought. Last night I came across a video of mom from a birthday party we gave her 14 years a go. Yes I sat and watched it! It was very comforting to see her smile and hear her voice. Actually, there were alot of familt members in that video that are no longer with us. It still dosent seem real, its like a bad dream that I will wake up tomorrow and she will be here, sitting in her chair. At least I have her smile and voice captured on tape. It was very comforting.
Comment by Catherine Ottinger on September 28, 2009 at 4:25pm
I lost my mother in law five years ago, but she was more like my mother than an in law. I loved her so very much. She was always supportive, and had a wonderful laugh. When she finally left I wasn't sure if I was sad or happy; she'd suffered so much from the cancer that took her life. But I do know that my pain is not fully gone. She left us on September 22, and just this year I felt her passing all over again. There were so many things I wanted to tell her. It's profoundly changed my life. I no longer tell myself there will be time later for what needs to be said. If I need to tell someone I love them, I do it right away. In part, that was her last gift to me. I thank her for it and know that now she knows exactly how much she meant to me.
Comment by jennifer on September 26, 2009 at 10:42am
I lost my mom last year July 2, 2008 and I just lost my fiancee July 31, 2009 so I haven't been able to grieve for my mom as well. I have such a hard time and I miss her terribly wishing she were here to comfort me. But I know she is here with me in my heart. It has been very, very hard dealing with two losses within a year of each.. I am trying to stay strong and stay positive. I recently joined a christian church and attend a Christian Recovery group for some support.
Comment by RUTH MARGARET BABIN on September 25, 2009 at 4:39pm
Dad was born in 1914, they would have been married 70 years Oct 30/07 but the good Lord needed him more, Dad is no longer suffering and at peace. The burden of losing one's parent never goes away, hang onto the memories, look at old photos, most of all remember to good times. Sorrow will pass away eventually, it takes time, be strong & most of all look after yourself during your grieving.
Comment by RUTH MARGARET BABIN on September 25, 2009 at 4:37pm
My beloved dad passed away 2 years ago after suffering from Alzheimers for almost 5 years. I will forever have fond memories of our cherished times together playing hockey, golfing ... even as a girl!
Comment by Wendy on September 25, 2009 at 12:23pm
Missing my Mom ---- My mother was murdered by my stepfather on January 5, 2009. Supposedly it was supposed to be a murder-suicide, but he survived his well placed shot and is now pleading insanity. My mother would have been 72 in April if she had not been murdered. They were married for 49.9 years. I am having trouble with anger toward him and such deep sorrow missing my mother. She did not deserve to die like she did at his hands - shot in the face with a shot gun. They would not let us see her, I could not say good-bye. Almost 10 months later and I am still on this never ending roller coaster. Have been in therapy, but it only helped with my anger. It seems nothing helps with my sadness
Comment by Vicki on September 24, 2009 at 10:40pm
I lost the most important person in my life on september 18th 2009. My mom fought for most of the summer to come home with my dad and I. My dad is having a tough time losing his soulmate of 54 yrs. I keep thinking that I will wake up and my mom will still be here. I am lucky that i have no regrets with my mom. we are very close and i can't imagine how I am going to get through her birthday and holidays. She died in my arms and It was truely peaceful to see her go home. But I never thought that it would happen just yet. My gram lived for 96yrs. Mom had gotten tired of just existing in the hospital with not much hope.She lived 4 months longer than I think she would have , if not for her great love she has for her family and my dad. I find comfort in holding her purse and just smelling her on it and having her hairbrush on my dresser. The day of her funeral I had to go back in the evening to check on her. I just cleaned her wedding ring tonite because it had so much dirt from the hospital and makeup on her hands that I was talking to her the whole time explaining to her that i was sorry her most important piece of jewelry got to be so dirty. I put it right back in her room waiting for her. I know she won't, but for some reason I want it to remain the same I guess. My dad cut up some cards in her wallet and I almost lost it. It just seems so surreal but yet the pain in my heart is so big at times that I just cry for long periods of time. But I know I will reunite with my mom again and Knowing that she is free of her pain helps me a great deal, along with having my dad still, and a great family & best friend anyone can have.
Comment by Joanne on September 24, 2009 at 2:05pm
Hi, I only just recently found this website, and I'm new to this group.

My Dad passed away Feb 11, 2009 and was quickly followed by my Mom on March 17, 2009. They were married for 62 years, and I guess it was too hard for them to be apart. They were both in their 80's with health issues, but their deaths were unexpected.

I still miss them a great deal. Also, I'm in the healthcare industry, and feel like I get reminded of their passing everytime I see orders that remind me of theirs while they were hospitalized. I hope that part goes away soon.

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