loss of a parent

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Time is not healing loss of my best friend, my mum

Started by Lynda Baron. Last reply by Louise Hayes Jun 21, 2018. 9 Replies

My Story

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Family secrets cloud the grief

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Comment by Lisa M on July 26, 2012 at 9:43am

I lost my Mom March 12, 2012, I believe she did not have to die. She died from septic shock, due to lack of blood flow to her bowels and large intestine...this is called Ischemia. She began getting sick around Thanksgiving 2011. We went to numerous doctors, and no one could figure it out, until it was too late. She found out March 7th, and she died March 12th.  Mostly I am angry, along with missing her. Dealing with the anger along with the grief has taken a toll on me, emotional, mentally, and physically,  I don't know how to move on, and let her go, and let the anger go.  She was my best friend I saw her everyday, she was active, lived on her own, and showed no signs of illness.It hurts, I truly fell as if my heart has been broken.  Can anyone give me some good words of advice?

Comment by dana grable on July 26, 2012 at 7:05am

How do you go on? I lost my mom July 17th, 2012. To a heart attack. She was in great health walked everyday. She made the 911 call but they didn't get to her in time. I just don't know how to go on without her. I had to come back to work and they just don't understand. I am trying to go thru the motions of doing my job but all I want to do is cry.

Comment by Terri Kuta on July 25, 2012 at 6:02pm

I am so sorry for your loss I lost my dad aug of 2010 and even though he had cancer and was for the best i lost my youngest son in november the same year how i wish my dad was here to help me he lost my 2 sisters when they were in their teens and I know he would be able to help me when times get unbearabe

Comment by Jackie Champion on July 25, 2012 at 1:02pm

My Mom passed away at age 71 from lung cancer on April 8, 2012 (Easter morning) It still feels so surreal and I can't stop thinking about her and crying all the time.  I was her caregiver for the 6 months before she passed and we were all there when she suddenly passed away in front of us.  She was in palliative care for only 3 days... it is so unbelievable!!

Comment by Sandra E. Byrd on July 24, 2012 at 10:02pm
Rita, I'm so sorry you are hurting so bad for your mom. My mom died last August after 3 yrs of Lewy Body dementia
I cared for her at home completely helpless but I still miss her on so many days.The pain lessens. Don't pressure yourself into feeling a certain way. Be kind to yourself for as long as it to her passing as soon as you left,that is a choice dying people often make.My mom was alone in the next room from me when she left us but I think she would have wanted it that way.She was fiercely independent and usually got her way. Praying for you.
Comment by Rita Genet on July 24, 2012 at 7:30pm

My mom passed away July 12 2012, so 12 days ago. She decided to stop fighting her very long fight with liver disease. I cared for my mom for years off & on, liver disease is that way. I miss her so much that Im shocked at how mucg. I thought I was preparing myself all these months. But, I was dis appointed because I wasn't there at her last breath. I stayed overnight at the nursing home with her, untill 4am, went home called the family in from out of state. Got a couple of hours of rest & was on my way back when they called and said she had passed. I am so angry that I missed it, I promised her I would be there. I feel out-of-control, I have no tolerence, I am so upset all of the time. I knew I was going to grieve but this is NOT what I expected. I can't hardly stand to be home & if I am I want to be sleeping. My laughs/smiles feel fake. But I think the worst part is that her needs took up so much of my time, that now IDK what to do. I hope this gets better soon, cause I have a husband and 2 boys who need me back :-(

Comment by Peggy Hill on July 16, 2012 at 6:30pm

Theresa.  I'm here anytime you need me.

Comment by Theresa LaSalle on July 16, 2012 at 6:16pm

Peggy Thanks so, so much for your sweet kind words...they do help me..

Be good to yourself.


Comment by Peggy Hill on July 16, 2012 at 1:09pm

Theresa, I am so sorry for your loss.  It is so hard loosing a parent, a mom especially.  Denial, anger, and guilt are all things we all go through.  I'm sure your mom understands you had a life that you had to live just as she did hers.  The longing never really goes away but it will get a little easier as time goes by.  Both of my parents are

gone and you never really fill that hole left without them.  I'm getting through it by leaning on my son and trying to remember the good memories.  You're in my heart and in my prayers.

Comment by Theresa LaSalle on July 16, 2012 at 5:28am

Susan and Elizabeth,

My mom Vicky passed away on December 24, 2010... I work as a teacher..I am still in denial...I feel I wasn't there for her on so many levels...because of my refusal to let it be real.  I long for hug tell her why wasn't I there enough for you...what the heck was wrong with me.


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