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39-year-old brother drowned

Started by April. Last reply by Karen Liller 11 hours ago. 11 Replies

My sister died of a rare blood disorder

Started by Jessica. Last reply by Karen Liller 12 hours ago. 3 Replies

I lost my younger brother 4 weeks ago

Started by Jamie Ann. Last reply by Jamie Ann 13 hours ago. 6 Replies

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Comment by Danielle McEwen 20 hours ago

Today marks 11 months since my sister was taken from us. It is so hard to believe that it has almost been a year since I have talked to her or heard her laugh. I cannot help but think about where she would have been now had she not died. She would have been coming up on her 1 year wedding anniversary in a week and a half and I know she had been thinking about having children so maybe she would have been on her way. I feel so cheated and I feel as though she were cheated out of her life. I feel as though the person responsible for her death has stolen my family's future. I wish that it had never happened and I would give anything for one more day with my sister. The next month is going to be so hard with the last of the "first year" milestones. My dad's birthday on August 2 and then then her wedding anniversary on August 3, the day after. Last year my dad's birthday present was giving his daughter away to the man of her dreams, and this year, it is grieving that daughters death. And finally....August 22, the one year mark. It fills me with dread just thinking about it. I just wish that that day did not exist so that I did not have to remember what happened and how I found out, and the look on my dad's face when he told me, and the sound of my mother weeping and the image of my dad breaking down and the faces of my grandparents who looked lost and unsure of everything around them...and of her husband of 19 days, looking so lost and broken. These are the images that swim through my head one a day to day basis and no one really knows the strength it takes to hold myself together some days, especially in the days leading up to the anniversay of her death. I guess all I can do it pray for strength and hope that myself and my family get through the next month with as much grace and dignity as possible.

Comment by Stephanie DaMota on Thursday
Laurie....regardless of what kind of relationship you had with your brother....he was still your big bother. I too, lost my older only sibling & after I lost my big sister I felt so alone. Now all I have left are my mom & dad & once they're gone I'll be all alone. And when something goes wrong with them or something with their health....I feel like its all on my shoulders too. You'll miss him because hes your big bother and you love him. As a younger sibling I think we take losing an older sibling because as a younger we always think and feel that our big brother/sister will always be there for us.....to give advice, to listen, to help, to annoy us etc like big brothers/sisters are suppose to do. Your loss is recent so the pain is completely agonizing...but trust me in time the pain will fade. Things will get better & your strong. You proved that by joining. I didn't join til 11yrs after I lost my sister. Know that you are not alone, you've come 2 the right place where people truly know & understand your loss, your sadness, what your going through & how you're feeling. If you ever need to talk we're all are here for you.
Comment by Laurie Slicer on July 14, 2014 at 12:31pm
I am new here. We buried my brother last Friday. He was 65 years old and died after an out patient surgery put him in a coma.
We had a complicated relationship, but now I feel incredibly alone. It was just the two of us and our 100 year old mother. It's all on my shoulders.

That's only one reason I'll miss him. He was my big brother and I loved him. I hate this. I really hate this.
Comment by Stephanie DaMota on July 13, 2014 at 6:54pm
I completely understand the being a different person from when she alive. I feel the person I used 2 know died with my sister. Ive had people tell me they miss the old stephanie but that stephanie is gone & just like my sister is never coming back. It took me years to join a support group. I made some wrong decisions when dealing to my sisters death. I turned to drugs & for awhile it made me normal, it took away the pain,sadness & loneliness.....but before I knew it I needed more & more drugs to get me through the day until I realized that when the drugs wore off the pain sadness & heartache was still there. I quit drugs got clean graduated college with 2 degrees & was valedictorian of my graduating class. I did it for me but making her proud of me is what truly motivated me. Its such a relief to finally have someone who get understands & know the pain, sadness,loneliness & struggle ive been dealing with for over 10years since I lost my sister
Comment by Meghan on July 13, 2014 at 6:03pm
It is a comfort talking to someone who really does understand. I felt like I joined a club I never wanted to be a member of when I lost beck. Not only do you lose your sister- you lose your sense of identity too. You go from being a sibling to being an only child.
Beck didn't get the chance to have children and I've been trying to conceive for 7yrs. My husband comes from a large family who have never experienced tragedy, they try to understand but they just can't.
I feel like my family is getting smaller as his gets larger. Our marriage has come so close to ending as I am a different person now to who I was with my sister in my life.
Comment by Stephanie DaMota on July 13, 2014 at 5:46pm
Meghan its so comforting to know that there is someone out there who understands my lost, pain, sadness & the longing to have my sister back. Its been 10yrs & it still hurts like it was yesterday. I miss her more & more everyday.how i wish I can hear her voice, her laugh, see her smile, hug her just 1 more time. I have this recording of her on tape that I constantly play back over & over again just to hear voice....the tape is almost warped due to playing it so much. No one can or ever will replace my sister. I think about her & miss her terribly everyday. Thank u meghan for sharing with me, for your suppost & kind words
Comment by Meghan on July 13, 2014 at 5:33pm
Oh Stephanie, your words touch my heart. My gorgeous little sister would too be turning 35 next month if she was here with me.
It's been just over 2yrs since mum and I lost her and I totally understand that feeling of being alone and the massive whole that's in my life without her.
No one can ever replace the part your sister played in your life and no one can understand unless they too have suffered such a loss.
I miss her humour, her love, her unwavering support and her smile. And I miss being her big sister.
I recently lodged a formal complaint against her doctor ( she died because of the combination of medications he prescribed her) and I feel like I've done my last act as her big sis. Sadly comforting.......
I try to live my life for her now so she can experience thru me what she's missed but I'd give anything to have her back.
Comment by Stephanie DaMota on July 13, 2014 at 4:07pm
Thank you karen for your kind words & support. I really appreciate it....with so much grief of losing a loved one my faith gets blinded but I know deep down that she is not suffering, no longer in pain & with god watching over me & my family.....I know she fought her entire life especially towards the end & shes not suffering anymore but it doesn't erase the pain of her being gone.
Comment by Karen Liller on July 13, 2014 at 3:27pm

Hi Stephanie-

My sister Lisa's 50th birthday was July 10th.  She passed away on November 7, 2013.  July 10th was a very hard day-the first birthday of hers that we were not together on earth.  I understand how close you were to your sister-- as I read your comments I realized they sounded so much like my relationship with Lisa.  My faith too has been questioned but I try and hang on to the fact that through my faith I look forward to seeing Lisa again.  But that is not too say it is any easier missing her.  She and I had great plans about starting businesses and doing all kinds of things when she got well.  She was and will always be my best friend.  I believe that the grief doesn't leave but maybe changes over the years.  We go on but never without remembering your loved one.  It helps me to write my feelings on this comment wall and I hope you will keep writing as well.


Karen Liller

Comment by Stephanie DaMota on July 13, 2014 at 10:15am
As my sisters 35th bday draws near I cant stop thinking about how when she was alive we would stay up at night talking about our lives and the future. I use joke with her that she'd be a 35 year old woman with 9 cats...if she were alive she would be turning 35 on the 23rd of this month. I would give anything to have her here with me even if she did have 9 cats. Not only was she my only sibling....she was my hero & my best friend. I told her everything! She was my rock when I needed to be strong, my release when life got crazy, my clown when I was down, my light when if was dark, my support when I was weak, my hero when I was scared. She was always there & I miss her so very very much. It amazes me how after 10 yrs me, my emotions, my thoughts, my actions, my outlook, my personality, my point of view & my life is still very much affected by her passing. The Stephanie I once knew died with her. I still feel angry and upset.....that its not fair shes gone. All i have left are my parents & Once they are gone ill be completely alone. I no longer have any grandparents or godparents. I have no other siblings, no nieces or nephews. Ever since I was little my biggest fear was being alone....and I think its ironic that my fate is me ending up alone. July and December are very difficult & emotional months I've cried at least once every day since July has started....i am crying now....I just miss her so much!! I LOVE YOU & MISS YOU DIANA.NOT A DAY GOES BY WHERE I DONT THINK OF & MISS YOU. IM SO SORRY I LEFT THAT NIGHT. I HOPE IM MAKING YOU PROUD.REST IN PEACE

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