Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A place for people who are going through loss to support one another .
Latest Activity: on Wednesday
Started by tay. Last reply by Eileen Hennessy on Tuesday.
Started by Jamie Ann. Last reply by Lori k on Tuesday.
Started by tay. Last reply by Melinda Guinn on Monday.
I understand Lori. That's the loving thing to do, to put the dog out of misery. We need a Dr. Kervokian for terminally ill people to be a law. WHY would we let someone suffer? It has to be their call though! Lori, remember it's a battle between good and evil, God and the Devil, yin and yang, I'm not sure at all! Hold onto your faith! You're fine Lori, thank you for responding.
Melinda none of this makes sense, unfortunately!!! The pain and anguish is only understandable to someone who has experienced it.Like us, for example. I have to have my sister's beautiful golden retriever put to sleep tomorrow because she has bone cancer. I bought her Reesie almost 12 years ago because I have a golden and they are such wonderful companions. Its so so sad. My mom has been caring for her she was like my sister's child because she had no children of her own. I am not sure why tragic things occur, it's a devastating part of the circle of life. I am trying to hold on to my faith. I think we are not meant to understand it all...It sucks I wish I could offer you more words or any of comfort except that I am here to correspond anytime.
Lori, Thanks, that's what I felt too, Doug was reaching out to me! He's my younger brother by 1yr and 8 mos. We grew up together! Got Mom mad at us together! I offered to give him my lung but he said, "it won't be a good outcome". I can hear his voice in my head. :( I DIE FIRST, NOT DOUGIE!!! I just got off the phone with his daughter, she's going to mail me a picture of Doug playing one of his guitars. He has 3 guitars. They're keeping the Fender Stratocaster lead and selling another lead and a bass. He played both! They're thinking of selling their home also because without Doug's income, there is only his wife Fil's. I wish I could help but I live on SSDI. I told her I could contribute $50.00 a month but that's barely a drop in the bucket when the monthly mortgage payment is $1700.00. I'm so distraught, first I lose my 30 yr old daughter, then my liitle brother at 54! I know there's a God, but WHY!!! Doug is such a good man. Doesn't drink, smoke, nor do drugs. He was happy working and raising his daughter with his wife! Devil's alive and well, mf'r! sorry
So sorry Melinda Guinn it's all so hard to navigate through! Was he your younger or older brother? I feel like my sis was just snatched up so quickly... and nothing prepares you for the grief. I am sure your brother was reaching out to you...
So here I am 7 weeks after losing my younger sister, trying to figure it all out. She was only 42 and her death was extrememly sad and tragic...
Inga: I have the same hopes for my brother. He died from an apparently violent seizure alone in his apartment. My prayer has been that he wasn't afraid and didn't suffer. The cops, Medical Examiner, and my mom didn't want me to see him that night. My cousin and her husband (retired cop and former funeral director) did see him. They both think he died immediately. I comfort myself believing that God sent an angel to be with him at the end and his wife met them at the gates of heaven. I understand how difficult this must be for you. I'm not sure whether more knowledge of the how and why of our loved ones' death is more helpful or more hurtful. Good night.
My mom sent me a copy of the preliminary accident report today. I saw a picture of the accident site that was included in the report. The photo was taken after the debris from the crash was cleared, but I saw where my brother died. It was right at the top of a mountain peak. He was only a few feet from clearing it. Apparently visibility played a factor and he was under instrument meteorological conditions, which means he was relying on the planes instruments to guide him. I also learned that the plane caught fire and was burnt badly after the crash, so I don't know how much information they have been able to get from the instrument panels. The State Department told my mom, that there may not be a whole lot more information in the final report due to the severity of the crash. I just hope that when he died he wasn't scared and didn't suffer pain.
Thank you Melinda and gramaokie for your replies. I spent quite some time today reading through the posts of others on this page. I am so sorry to everyone that has to travel this road. Today, I connected with a local grief support group, and am going to my first session on Sunday.
Hi Inga: Glad you found your way here. Sorry you had to become part of this group. Many people think they're being considerate by not bringing up our loved one. They don't realize that's just about all we're thinking about and want to talk about him. Your situation is made more difficult by the circumstances surrounding your brother's death. I encourage you to communicate YOUR needs to your family at this time. Be gentle with yourself. Remember there are no rules for grieving and no time limits. Take good care!
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