A place for people who are going through loss to support one another .

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Bad things about me in sister's diary

Started by tay. Last reply by Eileen Hennessy on Tuesday. 3 Replies

I lost my younger brother 4 weeks ago

Started by Jamie Ann. Last reply by Lori k on Tuesday. 14 Replies

sister's "best friend" ignores us

Started by tay. Last reply by Melinda Guinn on Monday. 1 Reply

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Comment by Melinda Guinn on Wednesday

I understand Lori.  That's  the loving thing to do, to put the dog out of misery. We need a Dr. Kervokian for terminally ill people to be a law. WHY would we let someone suffer? It has to be their call though! Lori, remember it's a battle between
good and evil, God and the Devil, yin and yang, I'm not sure at all! Hold onto your faith! You're fine Lori, thank you for responding.

Comment by Lori k on Tuesday

Melinda none of this makes sense, unfortunately!!! The pain and anguish is only understandable to someone who has experienced it.Like us, for example.  I have to have my sister's beautiful golden retriever put to sleep tomorrow because she has bone cancer.  I bought her Reesie almost 12 years ago because I have a golden and they are such wonderful companions.  Its so so sad. My mom has been caring for her she was like my sister's child because she had no children of her own.  I am not sure why tragic things occur, it's a devastating part of the circle of life.  I am trying to hold on to my faith.  I think we are not meant to understand it all...It sucks I wish I could offer you more words or any of comfort except that I am here to correspond anytime.

Comment by Melinda Guinn on Monday

Lori, Thanks, that's what I felt too, Doug was reaching out to me! He's my younger brother by 1yr and 8 mos. We grew up together! Got Mom mad at us together! I offered to give him my lung but he said, "it won't be a good outcome". I can hear his voice in my head. :(   I DIE FIRST, NOT DOUGIE!!! I just got off the phone with his daughter, she's going to mail me a picture of Doug playing one of his guitars. He has 3 guitars. They're keeping the Fender Stratocaster lead and selling another lead and a bass. He played both! They're thinking of selling their home also because without Doug's income, there is only his wife Fil's. I wish I could help but I live on SSDI. I told her I could contribute $50.00 a month but that's barely a drop in the bucket when the monthly mortgage payment is $1700.00. I'm so distraught, first I lose my 30 yr old daughter, then my liitle brother at 54! I know there's a God, but WHY!!! Doug is such a good man. Doesn't drink, smoke,  nor do drugs. He was happy working and raising his daughter with his wife! Devil's alive and well, mf'r! sorry

Comment by Lori k on December 9, 2014 at 6:59am

So sorry Melinda Guinn it's all so hard to navigate through!  Was he your younger or older brother?  I feel like my sis was just snatched up so quickly... and nothing prepares you for the grief. I am sure your brother was reaching out to you...

Comment by Melinda Guinn on December 8, 2014 at 11:47pm
Lori, 7 wks is barely enough time to get around it. I'm so sorry! I just got of the phone with my brother's wife. I've been thinking about him today more than usual. The pain is deeper also. I've spoken to his daughter since my brother passed on 9/22 but I haven't spoke to his wife since the funeral. When I called her today, she was crying and said today was their anniversary. My brother must've been sending me thoughts telepathiclly!
Comment by Lori k on December 8, 2014 at 8:19pm

So here I am 7 weeks after losing my younger sister, trying to figure it all out.  She was only 42 and her death was extrememly sad and tragic...

Comment by gramaokie on November 26, 2014 at 11:40pm

Inga:  I have the same hopes for my brother.  He died from an apparently violent seizure alone in his apartment.  My prayer has been that he wasn't afraid and didn't suffer.  The cops, Medical Examiner, and my mom didn't want me to see him that night.  My cousin and her husband (retired cop and former funeral director) did see him.  They both think he died immediately.  I comfort myself believing that God sent an angel to be with him at the end and his wife met them at the gates of heaven.  I understand how difficult this must be for you.  I'm not sure whether more knowledge of the how and why of our loved ones' death is more helpful or more hurtful.  Good night.  

Comment by Inga on November 26, 2014 at 6:58pm

My mom sent me a copy of the preliminary accident report today.  I saw a picture of the accident site that was included in the report.  The photo was taken after the debris from the crash was cleared, but I saw where my brother died. It was right at the top of a mountain peak.  He was only a few feet from clearing it. Apparently visibility played a factor and he was under instrument meteorological conditions, which means he was relying on the planes instruments to guide him.  I also learned that the plane caught fire and was burnt badly after the crash, so I don't know how much information they have been able to get from the instrument panels.  The State Department told my mom, that there may not be a whole lot more information in the final report due to the severity of the crash.  I just hope that when he died he wasn't scared and didn't suffer pain.

Comment by Inga on November 25, 2014 at 8:56pm

Thank you Melinda and gramaokie for your replies.  I spent quite some time today reading through the posts of others on this page.  I am so sorry to everyone that has to travel this road. Today, I connected with a local grief support group, and am going to my first session on Sunday.  

Comment by gramaokie on November 24, 2014 at 7:00pm

Hi Inga:  Glad you found your way here.  Sorry you had to become part of this group.  Many people think they're being considerate by not bringing up our loved one.  They don't realize that's just about all we're thinking about and want to talk about him.  Your situation is made more difficult by the circumstances surrounding your brother's death.  I encourage you to communicate YOUR needs to your family at this time.  Be gentle with yourself.  Remember there are no rules for grieving and no time limits.  Take good care!


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