LOSS OF A SIBLING SUPPORT GROUP

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LOSS OF A SIBLING  SUPPORT  GROUP

A place for people who are going through loss to support one another .

Members: 596
Latest Activity: yesterday

Discussion Forum

Lost my younger sister

Started by Jen donnell. Last reply by Karen Liller on Saturday. 3 Replies

Day to Day Life

Started by Mary Bultman Oct 15. 0 Replies

First Holidays

Started by Robbin R. McManus. Last reply by Robbin R. McManus Oct 12. 4 Replies

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Comment by Karen. Davison yesterday
lost my bother and his wife recently in a motorcycle accident.
Comment by Danielle McEwen on October 14, 2014 at 8:41am

This weekend as we celebrated Thanksgiving (Canada) I felt the joy of all that I was thankful for, but at the same time, I felt at such a loss as I kept thinking that my little sister should have been there. I drempt of her this weekend and in the dream, I dreamt that she was still alive and that I convinced her to stay and she kept saying that she was alright and that she was happy. I think that was her way of coming to see me on this holiday to spend time with me. I know that it sounds hokey, but I truely believe that she made it so that she was a part of out thanksgiving by coming to me in my dream. Needless to say, it was not enough and now I miss her more than ever, but it does offer a little comfort. She left us 14 months ago.

Comment by Karen Liller on October 13, 2014 at 7:22am

Hi Kimberly-

I am so sorry for your loss.  My sister's first year anniversary will be November 7th.  Yesterday my mom and I went and put flowers on her resting spot and my Dad's.  It seems very wrong she is there.  She was only 49 years old.  The tears for us continue.  

I hope you take care and you find peace in the days ahead.

Best,

Karen

Comment by Kimberly on October 10, 2014 at 10:26pm

Today marked one year since losing my beloved big sister. It still hurts so much that she's gone. I can hardly believe it's even been that long. But then again, it's still hard to believe she's not back in our hometown, doing her own thing. A lot of tears today. I love and miss you big sister <3

Comment by Wendy35 on September 29, 2014 at 10:48pm

I lost my brother, 5 years ago this December.  His widow is getting remarried next year, and I don't know how I feel about it.  They were only married 1 year when my brother passed away.  They found each other on eHarmony.com and "clicked" right away he used to say.  She is a nice person, but I still don't know her that well.  In the 5 years since he has passed, I have tried to be supportive, but I always worried that I would say the wrong thing, or offend her in some way.  So, I feel like I lost not only my brother, but a sister-in-law that I never had the chance to know. I also feel like she resents me in some way.  Issues arose with my father receiving a life insurance payment from a policy my brother had years before he got married.  My father spent the money instead of sending it to my brother's widow.  Apparently he assured her that my father would "do right by him" if anything happened to him and send her the check.  All of my brother's other insurance policies/pension/401K went to his widow, somehow this one policy he forgot to change beneficiaries.  I feel like I did not fight to do "the right thing".  My father is notoriously unskilled in handling money, and in the 10 years since our mother died, he has made progress.  However, he will spend money at a drop of a hat still.  Long story short, I am at loss how to handle this...ugh.

Comment by Lisa Palm on September 14, 2014 at 12:57pm
Lost my sister May 6th, 2002. I sat by her bedside holding her hand as she lost her battle with cancer at age 44. I miss her every second of every day. My brother overdosed in 2011. He lived. But he is not the same and can no longer take care of himself. Lost my Dad Christmas Eve 1995, and my Mom April 4th, 2013. I have never felt so alone in my life. The heaviness in my heart is indescribable. People say it gets easier. How can it get better when I keep losing everyone I love? I am not suicidal but most days I just wish God would take me home...
Comment by Amy Wilson on September 14, 2014 at 11:38am
To everybody I am so sorry for your loss. We lost Billy July 4th of this year. Just got back from vacation. Thinking about him 24/7.Not saying I didn't think about Billy. I talked with him often. I was putting a picture of him on the matle.I just broke down. This is the first time I felt he is gone. I felt half of my body is gone. I never felt that way with my parents. With my mother my heart felt the majority of the pain. Thinking for listening. This feels good just to share my feelings.
Comment by Amy Wilson on September 14, 2014 at 11:25am
I feel a need to help the next kid who is struggling with addition. It's something in my heart to share my experience with Billy. I do not want anybody else to suffer alone. Thanks for listening.
Comment by Karen Liller on September 11, 2014 at 12:27pm

Hi Valerie and Renee-

I am sorry for your losses.  It is such a painful process.  My sister Lisa, also young at age 49, passed away on November 7, 2013 from cancer-on September 7th it was 10 months.   We were there when she passed.  This has been the most trying time of my life.  Having close relationships with siblings is so wonderful when everyone is fine but when something happens, it is awful.  I know you miss your loved ones everyday and I think we should.  We all have to survive and go on but always with good thoughts and those precious memories of those we have loved and lost in this world.

Take care and God Bless,

Karen

Comment by Renee P on September 11, 2014 at 10:50am

First and foremost, I'm sorry for everyone who has lost a loved one. I don't think anyone ever realizes the horrible pain one feels until you have lost one of your own.

I lost my younger brother Feb 17 2014.  It's been almost 7 months and I'm still in shock. I hadn't come to grips that he's gone. I know he's gone, I saw him but yet my mind tries to fool me and make me think, nah he's stlll alive. I have his Urn here with me and his picture and red sox shirt in a memory box. It just doesn't seem real that is all I have left of my brother. 

He was 34, athletic, and always took care of himself. We used to joke he was the only one in shape in the family. He didn't do drugs or drink in excess.  We had still not found out his cause of death as of yet, the coroners are still working on diagnosis. No drugs/alcohol in his system, nothing out of the ordinary.  I think this is the hardest part, not knowing why my healthy brother was taken from us. They expect a heart defect that wasn't detected while living. 

We received the call I never expected ever in my life. My grandmother and mother were visiting when we received the call. My uncle who usually is cheerful was very cold and asked to speak to my mom. I handed off the phone to her and minutes later see her sink to the ground saying "What? What? OMG OMG not my Richie" I thought he was in an accident or something, when I asked her what happened, she said He's gone Renee, he's dead. I remember feeling the worst pain I had ever felt in my life and just screaming Noooooooooo. Next panic set in because we were in FL and MA is home. Flights couldn't get us here soon enough and with so many of us we just decided to drive. We drove straight thru and got there the next day. 

That was the worst week of our lives. Instead of it feeling like home as it used to, it felt cold, lonely and horrible. First thing we did was get in touch with a funeral home to get him home because they had done an autopsy and was still being held. We were informed that we may be dealing with a closed casket as my brother had been dead for about 1-2 days before finding him and were unsure how his body looked.  We had to wait 2 days until he was released and we got to see him. He looked perfect to our surprise. He looked peaceful and as he was sleeping. The time was just passing fast and we knew our time with him was coming to an end. Only getting to spend time with your loved one for just 3 days before saying goodbye forever on this earth is horrible. I see why they used to wake people in their homes to spend time with them.  We had our private time with him, then the wake and then his mass. As beautiful as his services were is was heartbreaking. Seeing all our family and friends all crying and in disbelief. It felt like a blur, we were all in shock. He looked perfect and yet had no idea the cause of death. We laid him to rest having no idea what happened and why my 34 year brother was taken from us. 

(Back Story of his passing) My youngest brother called him the night he passed to tell him that his girl was expecting. Rich told him how happy he was for him and that he'd call him in the morning because he was tired and just not feeling right, thought he was coming down with a cold or something. He was just going to finish his book and go to bed.   My brother lived with our cousin. They didn't connect for that amount of time because of their work schedules and working opposite shifts. My cousin came home and noticed my brother's truck in the driveway he went in and jumped on him jokingly to wake him up only to find him stiff and cold. He started doing CPR and called 911 but it was too late.  It was awful. The coroner was called and told my cousin he died peacefully in his sleep as he was in bed, eyes closed with his book next to him.  

 

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