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I lost my younger brother 4 weeks ago

Started by Jamie Ann. Last reply by Robbin R. McManus on Tuesday. 10 Replies

Day to Day Life

Started by Mary Bultman. Last reply by SwimKitty Oct 28. 1 Reply

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Comment by Inga Selders 4 hours ago

My mom sent me a copy of the preliminary accident report today.  I saw a picture of the accident site that was included in the report.  The photo was taken after the debris from the crash was cleared, but I saw where my brother died. It was right at the top of a mountain peak.  He was only a few feet from clearing it. Apparently visibility played a factor and he was under instrument meteorological conditions, which means he was relying on the planes instruments to guide him.  I also learned that the plane caught fire and was burnt badly after the crash, so I don't know how much information they have been able to get from the instrument panels.  The State Department told my mom, that there may not be a whole lot more information in the final report due to the severity of the crash.  I just hope that when he died he wasn't scared and didn't suffer pain.

Comment by Inga Selders yesterday

Thank you Melinda and gramaokie for your replies.  I spent quite some time today reading through the posts of others on this page.  I am so sorry to everyone that has to travel this road. Today, I connected with a local grief support group, and am going to my first session on Sunday.  

Comment by gramaokie on Tuesday

Hi Inga:  Glad you found your way here.  Sorry you had to become part of this group.  Many people think they're being considerate by not bringing up our loved one.  They don't realize that's just about all we're thinking about and want to talk about him.  Your situation is made more difficult by the circumstances surrounding your brother's death.  I encourage you to communicate YOUR needs to your family at this time.  Be gentle with yourself.  Remember there are no rules for grieving and no time limits.  Take good care!

Comment by Melinda Guinn on Monday

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss Inga. I just joined this site when I lost my younger brother of 54 yrs to PVOD on 9/22.  I also, regrettably, lost my only child Candace Rae Watson, who had just turned 30 yrs old. Her and her husband were raising their 3 little girls! Feel free to voice any or all your feelings here. It might be helpful to me or others. I love and miss him so much! He's a kind man, great brother, fantastic, father and loving husband. It's still UNbelievable!!! HE'S SUCH A !GOOD! MAN!

Comment by Inga Selders on Monday

I just found this group today.  This is the first discussion group I have ever joined, so I'm not sure if this is where I should be posting this or not. I lost my 34 year old little brother on September 11th of this year.  He was a ferry pilot that crashed his plane on an island off the coast of Greenland.  Search and rescue looked for him for a week before the search was called off.  His crash site was discovered later the same day that the search was called off by a passing helicopter on a routine flight.  It was an agonizing week waiting to find out his fate, thinking he could still be alive and stranded in the mountains or on the ice sheet of Greenland. That stress on top of the reality of losing him has been really hard to cope with.  My mother, who is the only one who can possibly understand the pain of this lives in another city, and my husband and his family have been very distant about what I am going through.  They get very uncomfortable when I bring up anything regarding my brother. I am pretty much the rock in my family for both my husband and our three children.  So it has been really hard for them to not have me  holding down the fort like I normally do.  I am hoping that finding others who can understand what I'm going through will help with the healing process. That is what brought me here...

Comment by gramaokie on November 9, 2014 at 6:58pm

Sharon:  My brother's "angel day" was March 9, 2010.  The gut-wrenching pain has subsided.  I still think about him and miss him every day.  I can think about him now without crying most of the time. Occasionally, it almost seems harder like when I'm with his 3 grandchildren.  He loved them so very much.  At least he got to know them unlike your brother.  I treasure all of the precious memories I have of my brother as I'm sure you do, too.  

Comment by Melinda Guinn on November 9, 2014 at 6:29pm

Comment by Sharon Greenberg on November 9, 2014 at 10:29am

It will be two years on Dec. 12th since my brother Paul died. He never got to meet his beautiful granddaughter who is one years old now. I miss him everyday since he died does it get any easier? 

All the time

Comment by Lynne Garcia on November 9, 2014 at 4:53am
Hi I lost my younger brother on October 22, 2013. He slipped and fell hit his head when he was getting out of the shower at his apartment. He was 32 years old. He was 10 years younger than me. His girlfriend was with him she said he was gone before the ambulance came so he was already gone by the time my mom and I got to the hospital. Drs. Said there was too much hemorrhaging and they couldn't get to it to relieve pressure. We seen each other almost every night. I had just seen him the night before he was going to stop by my house that night. He didn't show then I got a call from my mom telling me my brother was on his way to the hospital. It was around midnight so I drove her to the hospital. I couldn't believe that just hours ago I was talking with him laughing and joking with each other like we always did. I also have another brother he is 3 years younger than me. He was 7 years older than my other brother. So I had to call him 2 in the morning to let him know our baby bro wasn't going to make it that was the hardest call I have ever made. It's difficult for me to type it now I started to cry. It has been a difficult, emotional, year for the family and his friends. One of his friends tried to kill himself early October of the year by flipping his brand new Camero he said he wanted to see my brother. So sad but thank God he is alive. It sucked cause my brother passed away before Halloween he loved Halloween Christmas too. He had no children so he would get my mom, my daughter and I whatever we wanted for Christmas. For me he was always buying me things throughout the year. Looking around my house almost everywhere I look it's something he bought me or gave to me. He was that kind of person giving and never asking for anything back. I miss him so much he just wasn't my brother, he was my best friend. That day I lost my best friend.
Comment by Karen Liller on November 8, 2014 at 6:44am

Thank you everyone for your posts.  Yesterday I took flowers and la card/etter to Lisa and put them on her resting place and my mom took her a new angel.  We visited her for a long while.  It was almost harder yesterday than the day of her memorial service one year ago.  I so want to talk with Lisa again but also know we will be reunited someday.  But this side of heaven remains a hard place to be.

Take care everyone and know you are not alone.



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