I feel your pain. It has been three years since the loss of my sister Lisa. I lost her in 2013 and my father in 2007. I have come to realize that the pain, loss, and hurt never really leave but you learn how to go forward. I know I will see them both again someday. I feel their presence all the time and still do cry. It is okay to cry-you have every right to do this. I always feel that although they are no longer here in this world they are always with me. I know your brother and father are always with you too.
Take care and God Bless.
I know how you feel somewhat. I lost my brother to lung cancer in 2008. I think I am moving on, and something happens to bring me back to the days before he passed. He shook my hand very firmly and thanked me for all I had done. I knew that I might not see him alive again. The years pass and you really are hoping you will get better. But, grief is like the ocean. It can be calm one moment and you can see across the ocean very clear until the waves start coming and getting larger and you feel like you are going to be swallowed up. You can hardly breathe. Then your spirit quiets and you are looking out to sea until the next time the waves come. The way he died makes your loss more unbearable. I am certainly not measuring loss, but each loss is not the same as you stated. People will say to move on. But you can't. Move at your pace. I don't think we are ever the same after we lose someone. But, I pray you find a little peace on this site to know that we are all suffering and you can tell us anything and we won't judge. Be good to yourself and cry when you must. Your tears are washing away your sorrow each time you feel overwhelmed. Much love to you, Claretha