I was reading though my sister's many diaries. One of her entries from when she was little talks about how I got angry and threw keys at her head when I was nine. I was very sad to see this. I had a very bad temper when I was little. I would hit my sister and even boys. Now it is very sad to see this. I wonder if anyone else has read sibling diaries? It is scary, since you might find a bunch of bad things about yourself. I wonder if it is even a good idea to read diaries at all. What do you think?

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Hi,

 I can so relate to your message. I lost my brother Sept. 8, 2006. He had inherited my parent's home and he never married and had lived alone. When I and my husband and my only other living sibling had to clean out the home and ready it to sell, I came across notes my brother had written. One said, "Valerie made me stay with her for this past month." It hurt deeply because at the time, he had been diagnosed with Bells Palsy and couldn't even stand up and suffered with extreme nausea and vomiting. I had been called by his neighbor who lived next door telling me that he had to take my brother to the hospital and in his opinion he thought my brother had had a stroke. So glad that it wasn't a stroke but the Bells Palsy was just as bad. There was no way I was going to let my brother go home in that condition so I opened my home and took care of him for a month. I waited on him hand and foot, my husband helping with getting him to the bathroom. I emptied his plastic urinal bottle each morning, and emptied a bowl when he vomited, made sure he got the medications the doctor had ordered for him as well. I cried reading that note knowing that all I did to help him was not appreciated and in his mind, I was the bad guy.

Don't let what you read in your sister's diary bother you. My only living sibling never speaks to me and we've never gotten along ever. Be grateful for the good times you had and try not to dwell on things that happened when you were a child. We all did things when we were young but we grew up and learned how to get along. My thoughts and sympathies go out to you. Thank you for sharing.

I can relate, my sister just passed away in October, and a few weeks after her tragic death, a cousin-who I haven't spoken to in at least 12 years sent me messages about horrible things my sister had supposedly disclosed to her. I didnt even know that were speaking.  At first I was so angry, it was scary but I decided to let it go and focus on the times when our relationship was good.  Besides when you lose a sibling you lose part of yourself so I dont feel it benefits anyone to dwell on the stuff from the past...let it go and offer it up to god for your own peace of mind



Lori k said:

I can relate, my sister just passed away in October, and a few weeks after her tragic death, a cousin-who I haven't spoken to in at least 12 years sent me messages about horrible things my sister had supposedly disclosed to her. I didnt even know that were speaking.  At first I was so angry, it was scary but I decided to let it go and focus on the times when our relationship was good.  Besides when you lose a sibling you lose part of yourself so I dont feel it benefits anyone to dwell on the stuff from the past...let it go and offer it up to god for your own peace of mind

Diaries can be very personal.  They can also tell us more about who our loved ones were and help us get to know them better even after they are gone.  I would hope you could forgive yourself for any ill tempered behaviors when you were nine.  We are still developing as children and so we are learning self control. In time, perhaps your sister's reaction to your temper tantrum can be viewed in the light of two young siblings having a rather dramatic argument.  I know people who have found great comfort in their loved one's writings and some who did not.  If you are comforted, then read them.  If you find them upsetting or that they bring you more grief, then do not read them.  Let your feelings guide you.  Blessings~ K 

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