It really is hard to understand, hard to accept, hard to simply breathe at times.

We are coming up on two years that we lost my sweet brother, Scott.  It is hard to be with my family at times because it brings great sadness to me that he is not here to be with us.

I know he is in a better place, I know he is not hurting, I know, I know, I KNOW!!!!

But knowing doesn't help me.  It doesn't help how much I miss my brother.  And it certainly doesn't help how much I miss my FRIEND! 

It is selfish, I know.  it is temporary, I know. I will find my joy again, I know.

But one thing no one when.


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Hi Carrie-

This is so true-no one know when-- if ever.  I don't think the complete "when" ever comes.  I know we go on but we are different and the world is different without our loved ones.  People should not tell you when to get over things or how to feel.  While they say the pain lessens over time,  I think it morphs into something perhaps more tolerable but never really leaves.  I think about my sister Lisa all the time, talk to her, and write her a letter a day.  When will that stop?  I hope never.



I know. I understand. It is so hard. I'm coming up on 11 months. I still struggle. I miss my sister so much.  My bf and I moved and I need to find a job and stuff but I just am having a hard time getting back to things. I've been crying almost every day again. I'm honestly worried about getting a job, then having a break down. I feel like I'm barely keeping it together lately.  I struggled with anxiety and depression before losing my sister, and it's made it tough.

It doesn't matter that we know we'll get to that place again, it doesn't matter that 'they are in a better place'. I hate that one so much.  They should be HERE. My sister had 3 kids. She had struggles, and is at peace now...but she didn't want to die. She wanted her children grow into adults, and have families.  Everyone grieves in their own way, and own time. The problem is the rest of the world expects us to jump back into asap.

Carrie, I understand completely how you feel. I lost my little brother too. It was so sudden that left my family in shock. He was healthy and was planning for college. Just know that you are not alone. Please take care of yourself.

Hi Carrie, I understand the "I know's" and they seem to never end or get better. I am sorry for your loss and I am glad you are here with us, reaching out. Keep reaching out as long as you need to and I am sure there are people here, myself included, that will reach back. We will hold hands thru this and pray for strength.

God bless you and your family, if ok.

Robbin McManus


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