I'm unwell physically since my brother passed away. My health conditions have become chronic. It was a terrible shock as no-one told me he was ill. My mother was not a very kind person to me and she regrets it now but she didn't care at the time. I found out he died alone as no-one could cope with him dying and we don't even know the time of death

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Hi, Linda. I can relate to what you have been through. My brother died unexpectedly in Oct 2013 and the shock and grief definitely took a toll on my health. I was plagued with not only depression and anxiety, but constant upper respiratory problems, aches and pains, etc for over a year. My nrother also died alone- he passed away from a drug overdose- in his bathroom. I had an awful time dealing with the thought of my loving,kind and decent brother died with so little dignity and alone. I know that he loved the Lord in spite of his problems, and that has helped me to cope. Try to focus on the good memories and know that your brother is at peace if you can- sometimes that's a hard thing to do and it requires almost physical effort but you can do it. I hope rhat you and your mom can get past the hurt feelings and support each other. I know it's not easy. Wishing you peace and healing.

Hi Jen, Thank you for your kind words and support. My mother is realising she made a mistake and she is slowly showing a more caring side little by little. I was the only person who hugged her in her life and that was at my brother's funeral. And afterwards when I saw her she asked for another hug. I encouraged her to go for counselling and it helped her a lot. She said that her mother was very cold and she realised it had affected her character too. Yes my brother died bleeding and probably thirsty and unable to move or to help himself. He was a strong person but it leaves me traumatised to know what he went through. I have also had to write a complaint to his doctors as we believe he was not properly looked after. He was bi-polar and they are in denial of it. It has been a lot to deal with writing and for one year the doctors have dodged my questions. I have taken it to a complaint board, ombudsman and we are awaiting their findings. However during all this I have not had time to get over my grief and it feels like yesterday. The more time that passes the further I feel from my brother.  I realise that I can never get him back and I don't know how to be as strong as he was, but I told myself today that I can be strong and I will have to keep telling myself that. My health has suffered a lot. His son too whom I had to break the news to has also been unwell, and I hope to see him when I feel strong enough

Hello Linda

I am so sorry you had to experience all  that!  The death of someone we love can take a terrible toll on us physically and mentally.  I hope your speaking about it on this support group can bring you some relief.  I will definitely keep you in my prayers.  Please take care of yourself, and remember what happened was out of your control.  Please feel free to contact me anytime.

Margaret

Thank you Margaret. finding some people with similar experiences is helping even though it's just a day or two since I joined this group. As my brother was eldest he had to be strong or so he thought, and as I am eldest girl I have always been the one to help others and they never really thought that maybe I am human too so having some people on here who don't see me as a big sister helps. My brother thought he had to support everyone and be strong and we all took him for granted as he never showed any weakness (apparently even facing his own death). We were like twins in many ways and I'm going to have to learn a new way of being. He was always in the background, I always knew he was there, part of the world as I knew it. At the moment I just to tell myself to be strong and let the sunlight in, and try to imagine what he would have done in the same situation

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