Hi. I'm not the greatest writer but I'm kind of desperate for some place to talk about this or something. I don't know, I'm still kind of in shock though it's feeling more and more real.

My older sister (Diana) had her first and only child, Ellie, Friday night. Her whole life she wanted to be a mother. She talked about it all the time. Her and her husband tried for a couple of years to get pregnant and when she finally did everyone was so overjoyed. Me and Diana talked all the time about everything, including how she wanted to raise her baby. She wasn't just my sister, she was my best friend. I've never been closer to anyone else my entire life.

After she gave birth to Ellie on Friday there were several complications. The baby is fine but long story short I think the doctor said she had a amniotic fluid embolism or embryonic embolism (may be the same thing, I don't know). She died Saturday night. She was only 26. Feelings just keep coming in waves. I go from feeling the most pain and depression I've ever felt in my entire life (and I'm bipolar) to numb. It's like my brain flips a switch when I get too bad just for survival purposes. This is all just unreal. It's the kind of thing you see in a movie or bad episode of ER. It doesn't make sense. She would have been the best mother in the universe.

I'm sorry if this was difficult to read, my mind is a little all over the place.

Megan Colleen Hale



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I am so very sorry for your loss Megan. 


Although I know this is nowhere near the same degree of loss...I once lost a co-worker who died shortly after giving birth.  She was such a sweetheart...and it was such a shock due in part to the fact that I had just talked to her the day before. 


Childbirth is so much safer than it used to be...it's such a shock when a new mother dies. 


Again...I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister Diana.    {{{Megan}}}

Dear Megan,

I am so sorry to learn of your terrible loss of your best friend and sister, Diana.

There will be many changes in your family's dynamics as you watch your parents grieve, your brother in law grieve and as you grieve you may feel left out when no one asks you how you are doing. For some reason, when my brother died, 2 yrs ago, people outside and inside the family dont recognize the pain and numbness and crazy feelings that we go through. I am glad you found this site so soon. It does help to know that others have similar feelings and wonder if we are crazy. No we are not. We are hurting deeply. I will pray for you Megan and your family.

God Bless,


Megan, after reading what you and your family are going through, I am currently at a loss for words. This is so tragic! I just wanted to let you know that I did read your post and my heart aches over the loss of your sister, Diana.  I'm sure you feel like this really hasn't happened! I remember my brain denying my brother's death and then my brain would think "this is real", then I would just want to run away. I don't know where to.... I just had to run. I hope you continue to post your feelings, be they positive or negative. We are all in this together. You and your new niece, Ellie, will be in my prayers.

Hi Megan, I am at a loss as to what to say to you I am so deeply sorry for you and your family over the loss of your sister I lost my little sister 6 months ago today due to an unexpected heart attack (she had just turned 20) the sense of loss is immediate but survival mode is one feeling I have learned well I know I wouldn't have coped without this instinct. I would love to tell you the feelings pass but up to press I'm just learning to adjust and live with them. Talk to people you know and if they are too close to open up to Do it on here I find I can go deeper on here than I ever do with family. I wish you all the best and hope you find comfort somehow. If you would like to talk I'm here. Best wishes x

I am very sorry to hear about your sister. That's such a tragic thing to happen at what is supposed to be a joyous occasion. I lost my sister too six months ago. It's hard and not a day goes by that I don't think about her and wish she was here. It is hard grieving as the sibling. Sometimes I think people expect that you should back to normal in a shorter amount of time. I have found that you might get back to your life, but it's hardly normal again. 

Another sad part of your story is the child that will grow up never knowing her mom. My sister also left behind a daughter. She was four when my sister died and I worry that she won't remember her. I have started working on the beginnings of a  scrapbook for her about my sister. I want her to know who her mother was as a person. We as siblings, have a unique perspective on our brothers and sisters that no one else has. Make sure that you share those memories with your niece as she is growing up. It will hopefully give her a sense of who her mom was.

Hi Megan, I just want to say how incredibly sorry I am to hear about the loss of your sister. I lost my sister as well 3 months ago. She was 25. I also feel like I'm constantly going back and forth with my emotions. I go from just feeling incredibly sad and painful to just shutting down my emotions. It's so hard dealing with the loss of someone so close and so young. I don't really have any words of wisdom, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm feeling similar emotions.


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