I'm 17 years old. My 24 year old brother committed suicide on September 29, 2013.  I have never felt a pain this bad in my life, and I feel like nobody understands how I feel and nobody cares anymore since it was 6 months ago. That boy was my best friend, literally were never apart from eachother. I just typed a blog in detail on my page so i'm not going to repeat myself.. but how you and your best friend in high school were together everyday, thats how we were. but more. He stopped talking to me for about a week. Then I found out one day that he had shot himself. He left a picture of us laying next to him. His girlfriend crawled in his window and found him like that. Luckily, I slept in.. So I didn't go with her. Let's just say, this has been then longest, most painful 6 months of my life and it feels like its never going to get better.

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I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my brother to suicide. I can relate to the pain you are describing and the loneliness. My brother was younger than me. He died in February 2013. I know what you mean by everyone kind of disappearing after a few months, in the beginning everyone is there for you. The 6 month point was probably the worst for me. I thought I'd be feeling better but I was feeling worse. Then slowly I started to emerge from that fog I was in. I started grief counseling with the Grief Recovery Method and it was amazing. It helped me make sense of what I was feeling and why. If you are not in therapy of some kind you should think about it. It does help. I'm not one for group therapy, I'm more of a one on one type but  find what feels right for you. Your brother would probably want you to go on living this life being happy. Something he wasn't able to do.

 

Yes exactly, this 6 month point has been the absolute worst so far and its so hard. I am going to try to look into some type of therapy today.. Hopefully I find something to start with even if its group!
 
Caryn Hersh said:

I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my brother to suicide. I can relate to the pain you are describing and the loneliness. My brother was younger than me. He died in February 2013. I know what you mean by everyone kind of disappearing after a few months, in the beginning everyone is there for you. The 6 month point was probably the worst for me. I thought I'd be feeling better but I was feeling worse. Then slowly I started to emerge from that fog I was in. I started grief counseling with the Grief Recovery Method and it was amazing. It helped me make sense of what I was feeling and why. If you are not in therapy of some kind you should think about it. It does help. I'm not one for group therapy, I'm more of a one on one type but  find what feels right for you. Your brother would probably want you to go on living this life being happy. Something he wasn't able to do.

 

Abbi,

If you can find the Grief Recovery Network I highly recommend it. It worked so well for me I was able to get through the 1st anniversary with out becoming the mess I expected to become. I was able to look back at good times, look through photos, cry have a me day, but it wasn't like the 6 month anniversary.

 

I know it is a different situation, but I lost my little sister in a car accident almost 8 months ago on August 22, 2013. The 6 month point was very hard for me as well. I felt so alone and I think that is when the fog began to lift and I began realizing how much I really miss her. I spent a few days just so distraught I could barely function. In the beginning, just a few weeks after she died, I went to a support group put on by a local hospice and also did one on one grienf therapy. I found that it really did help work though those emotions and prepare me for the times that were going to be hard to deal with coming up. They say that the first year is the hardest, with all of the firsts pasing you by, and they are right. But I have realized that as each one passes, I come out the other end stronger. You will get through this. The pain is unbearable at times, I know that feeling all too well, but just know that you are not alone and that everyone in this group is here for you if you need to vent. We are all in it together.

Take care of YOU.

Danielle

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