Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Tamika on January 15, 2014 at 1:42pm

I'm so sorry to hear you going through this. You'll find as soon as everyone is done giving their condolences. It's back to business as usual. Everyone moves on. My brother has been gone 6 years now. I know from experience about this part. I wish I could give you some advice which would make this fact easier to accept. However I'm still dealing with this also. All I can do is let you know in these times when you feel alone. You are not, everyone here has felt this feeling or will. Your feelings are absolutely valid. When you love someone and after 1 moment in time they are gone. Moving on is the hardest thing to do. Be strong. I hope this in some way helps.

Permalink Reply by Caryn Hersh on January 15, 2014 at 2:26pm

It's funny no one has said anything yet. I don't know what it is. It's like all in my head. I feel like I am going crazy.

Permalink Reply by Kimberly on January 28, 2014 at 12:05am

I'm so sorry. it must be difficult. I lost my sister almost 4 months ago... but I've been through loss before. I know people move on. They have lives they have to live. We're expected to as well. And we do move forward, because we have to. But we'll never really move on. I still struggle with the loss of my grandma who died of cancer in 2001. All I can say is try to be strong. You're not alone even if it feels like it. / hugs

Permalink Reply by Danielle McEwen on January 28, 2014 at 6:41am

You WILL make it through the next couple of weeks. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, you will want to curl up in a hole and cry. But realize, you do not have to stay strong. You are allowed to fall apart and NO ONE can judge you for that. Grief is a rollar coaster that we are all on, and no one can dictate when we are allowed to take a plunge into the sadness, especially with the one year anniversary coming up. Just know that you are not alone, that we are all here for you. We may not fully understand your sadness as your journy through grief is unique to yourself, but we are all experiancing similar things. We are here for you! You will get through this!

Permalink Reply by Caryn Hersh on January 28, 2014 at 9:06am

My boss aka My Father in Law, just gave me grief about taking the anniversary day off. I was told to get over it, there is a business to run. I told him to eff off. I won't be in. ARGH!!!!

Permalink Reply by Danielle McEwen on January 28, 2014 at 9:21am

I will be taking the Anniversary day off this year as well. You do what you need to do for you!

Permalink Reply by Maxine Hall on February 5, 2014 at 5:55am

Caryn I'm sorry to hear about your lost. When you take your day off try spending it by doing some of the things you and your brother enjoyed doing together. Even if you don't feel up to doing them physically then do so mentally. Sing his favorite song remember when you to laugh out loud think about how you made him feel as a brother and cherish those memories then he never truly is gone. Work is thing we do to make ends meet keeping that in mind and not the rudeness of your father in law in mind. Take breaks during the day and go outside take a deep breath look at the sun feel it's warmth, notice any animals or birds you might see and then know that the one who created all things knows what you as one of his creations is going through. Stop at times and pray that you never lose the good memories and thank him for giving you the gift of your brother. Jehovah (god's name) is the father of tender mercies and all comfort. He's always there to comfort you even when at work, while looking directly at someone you can pray and be taken out of the moment. JW.org is an excellent web site that covers this subject and more in full detail.
Hope this helps

Permalink Reply by Caryn Hersh on February 6, 2014 at 4:40pm

Well, I did it!!! I survived my brother's first anniversary.  I really do feel this is an accomplishment, a year ago I didn't think I could do anything let alone make it through the hardest year of my life.

Don't get me wrong it wasn't easy. I did take the day off of work and planned nothing. I wanted to be free to do whatever and go to the cemetery, well that didn't happen thanks to mother nature and the ice storm of 2014. Luckily we didn't loose power and had only a little damage, but no way to get to the cemetery let alone find the gravesite.

But I feel like I might live now, like a weight has been taken off my shoulders. I made it through hell, through a year of firsts without my brother or my parents (we are recently estranged). I feel like I have my brother to thank for giving me the strength to face my demons head on, something he wasn't able to do. I feel like now I am living for both of us and I know he wants me to succeed and be happy. I will ALWAYS miss him and more than the physical him, I miss the potential of what was yet to be. Now I have a future where I can be emotionally and mentally strong and healthy. He will always be with me as I teach my nephew (his son) all about his daddy.

I am going to be okay!!!!!!

 

Permalink Reply by Maxine Hall on February 8, 2014 at 5:43am

I'm your day went well. I'm here if you ever need to talk.
Have many beautiful days and lots of fun with your niece.
Maxine

Permalink Reply by Danielle McEwen on February 17, 2014 at 8:54am

I am so happy that you made it through such a rough day. The anniversary of my sister's death is on August 22 and I really hope that I will be able to make it through that day and feel that feeling as well.

 

Proud of you!

Danielle

Permalink Reply by katie on February 25, 2014 at 12:14pm

Congratulations Caryn on making it through.  Even though I don't know you it's encouraging to see you're doing well.   I too lost my brother many years ago but I still miss him and sometimes wonder what would have been with our relationship.  I do know though what the Bible promises.  The kingdom that Jesus told us to pray for will bring a resurrection along with the peaceful, happy conditions which we all desire.  I look forward to seeing him again when he'll be healthy.-Isaiah 33:24. Then we'll catch up and our relationship will grow.   Just thinking about makes me excited and I can't wait.  In the meantime I rely on God to make it through.

Take care Caryn and be well.