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Comment by pam on August 26, 2009 at 8:53pm

It has been a little over a year since I lost my only sibling, my younger sister from a drug overdose. She was 48. I am still angry with her, but more angry with the system that failed her.
Granted, she was an adult who knew what she was doing, at least that is what she made us think. Since MJ died and all the hoopla that surrounds celebrity deaths, I am more angry. While his death was investigated, my sister was just another toe tag in the morgue from an accidental drug overdose. No one investigated her doctors or pharmacies as I had suggested to the police. She was playing the same game, multiple doctors and pharmacies, overseas drug buying. One of her enabling doctors even had the nerve to pay a condolence call. I wanted to kill him. Instead of putting her in rehab, he just continued to write prescriptions.
In this capitalistic society, money can buy immoral and unethical behavior even from medical professionals whose oath is "first do no harm". I hope one day to forgive her for leaving my elderly parents in such shock and grief, and for my two adult children who lost their only aunt.

Comment by maria Gikas on August 26, 2009 at 7:23am

Hi There,
Today marks 1 year 2months since i lost my amazing brother Tone. He was 31years old and was the most amazing brother and friend to me. I miss him so much that the weight of my loss is deep in my heart,that sometimes it makes it hard to breath. He was trying to call me when his heart gave up and their was just silence on the other end of the phone . Until the unforgettable scream from my mum (The death scream). I never got a chance to tell him he was amazing and he meant so much to me. This I will regret for as long as i am living. My life since then has been as i call it the land of the living dead. I can only feel the pain that you all have experienced as it can only be felt from people who have had a loss. My kids and my husband keep my going and make me get through each day as it comes. I have tried to spend time with his friends who were amazing the first year but realise that life keeps going, makes me sad. How can Tone not be here and life goes on around me. Please tell me how what can help me get out of the darkness!
When i listen to people around me with there petty arguments , I wonder how they think the stupidest little things can mean so much to them. All I Say is enjoy the people close to you while their here. Life as I have found out the hard way is so short.
Thanks from Maria (Mazza)

Comment by ashley on August 24, 2009 at 10:30pm

first off im sorry for everyone losses. My names ashley,im 18 and i lost my brother on December 22nd 07' he was 24 when he passed. It's been two years and i still constantly think of him. It get's harder before it gets easier but soon thinking of your lost sibling will be a joyus thing. When i lost my brother i was so lost he was like a male version of me spunky fun always making everyone laugh. I didn't know what to turn to when i was griefing my mother like to talk about him and my father didn't people have different ways of grieving which we need to respect. The one thing that i can honestly came out of this was my relationship with god grew so strong. Praying to him just asking him to lift me up and help me to get through this really helped.So many people that don't like to talk about what happened feel that there alone, i want you to know your not god is always there to hear your and listen. i know i very much felt alone i felt like my mothers and brothers grief was different then mine but we were all connected By my brother mario, I really think this group is great because i didn't know about it when i was going through it but it's always good to know i can recommend it! IF ANYONE EVER NEEDS ADVICE OR JUST A SIMPLE NEED TO SMILE AND IS HAVIN A ROUGH DAY DONT HESITATE TO MESSAGE ME!

Comment by ann estrada on August 20, 2009 at 5:51pm

hi my name is ann.i lost my older brother on march 5th,2009.i had just found him after 10 years.are famliy lost context with him 10 years ago.i found him in december 2009.i got a call from my sister on feb.27th. that he was in the hospitel and to go see him right away.that he was dieding.when i seen him i started crying and fell to my knees.we his siblings had to let him go.he died from a brain steam bleed on march 5th.five months have gone by and i still feel bad about it.can someone tell me when dose it go away.i catch my self crying sometimes.that could of helped him more.you see my brother was homeless.he didn,t want help from no one.not even me his sister.and thats what hurts the most.can anyone help me please.thank you ann.

Comment by KathyM on August 14, 2009 at 11:45pm

I found my one and only younger sister dead on her couch of a heart attack at 43 three years ago. I went for grief counseling with my youngest son as she was his nanny since he was 5. I still cry when I come down the street and my driveway is empty as she was always here when I came home from work. I pray all the time and its my understanding that the grieving process for siblings is approximately more like 4-6 years. Of course somedays are better and some are not. I cry in my sleep and wake up my son with the crying. She was my best friend. I lost my father when I was 14 but that grief was totally different from this. I feel so alone without her. My mother and I are not close and she is severely depressed but wont go for grief counseling. I often wish that I would of had a warning but I did talk to her on the phone a few hours before she died and told her that I loved her and would talk to her in the morning and the coroner said she died in the night. She must of taken a shower as she was sitting on the couch and she looked so peaceful and her hair was so shiny and beautiful. I sometimes feel peace in finding her looking so beautiful yet the trauma at times haunts me. I know that my faith will carry me thru but what a rough road. I will pray for all of those here that have lost thier sibling/siblings.

Comment by sandy davis on August 14, 2009 at 11:13pm

dear hopeful, your post was so wise and inspiring. it is, i guess, only through God and your faith and maturity, that you can be hopeful. you have such a wonderful and inspiring attitude. it really made me feel some hope to read your words. i lost my brother in january and it has been hard to have hope at times and i don't even know you but i admire you. thank you for your wonderful and hopeful words. love, peace, and prayers, sandy

Comment by Lisa W on August 10, 2009 at 9:03am

Glad to have the support of other people who understand

Comment by Hopeful on August 9, 2009 at 3:11pm

For information on my sister that is missing please go to www.helpfindgina.com.

Comment by Hopeful on August 9, 2009 at 3:08pm

I feel so sad for everyone on here, life is not supposed to be lived this way but in reality this is life and God did not make us to live forever. Some go sooner then others and others get to live these long lives full of happiness and sadness. I am 30 years old and in the past 10 months lost both of my sisters. My older sister (33) is actually missing, she has been missing since Oct. 23rd, 2008 and my younger sister (22) was killed just a month and a half later on Dec. 7th, 2008 in a fatal car accident. I was also 6 months pregnant when all this was going on and already had a 2 1/2 year old son and am married to a wonderful man. I look at my life at this moment and see so many happy things but the sad things outweigh everything. I hear people talk about how they look forward to dying because they lost one of their children or a spouse, etc... and I have thought that many times too. But then I also think about my parents, my brother in law, my friends, my grandma, etc. that are all still here and still love me and my kids and husband very much. Everyday is a struggle and the tears never stop. My life and the dynamic of my family has completely changed and I think how much I dont want what it is now, I want what we had 10 months ago. Each day that goes by it is just another day that God gave me. God doesnt decide when we die, we all have a destiny and we are given free will to live out what life we are given. But just remember that this life on earth is nothing compared to the eternal life that our loved ones are living and heaven and we are going to be there with them again. I have to believe that, that is the only thing that gets me through each day. Life will never be the same, there is a saying that I appreciate very much:
grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. -niebuhr

I cannot change the outcome of my sister's lives but I can always make sure that I live everyday for them and never let them be forgotten. Much love to everyone that is hurting, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Never feel that you are alone. God is always watching.

Comment by Dave Lorenzatti on August 8, 2009 at 1:07pm

My sister, Sandy, died in September, 2008. Just nine weeks before her death, she'd diagnosed with pancreatic and liver cancer. That was a huge shock to my youngest sister and me and we'd hardly had time to reconcile the reality of her illness before she was taken from us. While we are grateful that she was spared a long and agonizing ordeal, we are devastated at her passing. It's more difficult for my sister, Judy, since she and Sandy saw a lot of each other but, since my wife and I live in South Carolina, our contact was primarily by phone and e-mail. But we spoke often...now there's this huge void, especially during baseball season when we talked about Yankees games! We have lost a number of family members in the last six years but, as I said at her funeral service, never ever did I think for one moment that either of my siblings would precede me in death, since I'm the oldest. A day rarely passes that I don't spend time thinking about Sandy...memories of family gatherings, phone conversations about this and that, the jokes we'd send each other by e-mail. Judy and I have spent a lot of time consoling each other and our spouses and kids have been wonderful. I have also found comfort in the many bereavement readings I've come across or which were passed on to me. I also find myself talking with Sandy frequently, telling her things I probably would've said in a phone conversation. I miss her terribly.

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