LOSS OF A SIBLING SUPPORT GROUP

Information

LOSS OF A SIBLING  SUPPORT  GROUP

A place for people who are going through loss to support one another .

Members: 645
Latest Conversations: on Tuesday

Discussion Forum

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of LOSS OF A SIBLING SUPPORT GROUP to add comments!

Comment by Shannon on September 20, 2009 at 12:34am
Jacinta~
My name is Shannon. If you read below the bottom story first, then the one above it you will hear my story. I know how you must feel. I am so sorry. Losing our siblings is so horrible! Reading other peoples pain of losing their sibling has helped me immensely, as no one really understands unless you have or are going through it. Its like Danielle said below... We were like peanut butter & jelly. Who else is a sibling closer to then someone who has been their there whole life!! People use to say my brother & I were like a married couple because we would finish each others sentence, we could mind read each other! Even from a distance of him in Alaska & I in Washington state! When he died I could hear him hollaring at me in my mind. Not a voice, but a loud thought. Telling me how beautiful & awesome it was up there. (heaven I suppose) Because I was crying & screaming at god & all the people who kept asking me , what can I do? I would say bring my brother back!!! Thats what you can do!! You want to do something!! Do that!!! He has since talked to me in many conversations, Or thoughts I should say, like when he was gone & I ask him why? Why him? All I get out of him was it was his time & mine will be one day too. Just not now. I have to be here for his babies & mom. As for your sisters autopsy results. we had a lot of questions when he crashed & it all takes time. You want to make sure they go over evey nook & cranny as to not miss anything. If it was foul play, trust me, they will find out! You must be patient. In the first few weeks after this & even months, things go by at a snails pace! Days are forever! You are in the biggest short attention spanned FOG you will ever experience!! Trust me I know!! But they Will find out. As for the children, is there a family member who is taking them in? They will need soo much love & affection from all of you now. I told my brothers wife, that its going to take a village to get those babies raised, and by god I will make my brother proud by loving, caring, & protecting his babies til I breathe my last breath!! So Jacinta, you hang in there!! Your sister is right there next to you. You may not believe this but im telling you & everyone on here, you need to just stop, close your eyes for a minute, clear your thoughts & just listen. They will communicate with you. Not like when someone talks to you via a voice, they are thoughts, actions ( the lights) flowers blooming, or strange things that normally dont happen. I try to tell my mom this and she is finally just now understanding after my brother knocked three times on her bedroom wall ( twice) to let her know he was o.k. ( This was something they had discussed many times with one another, that if one or the other died they were to do that!) Well he did! The first time she was mad & said no, it wasnt him, those things dont really happen! So.. he did it again! Now she believes it! Hang in there & just give yourself a moment & a time to cope. We never "Get over it" We just learn to cope. I am here if you ever want to talk.
Comment by Shannon on September 20, 2009 at 12:07am
Jacinta
Comment by Jacinta on September 17, 2009 at 1:18pm
My sister, Marilyn died on July 27th 2009. We still don't know how she died, and I think I am going crazy. She was 36 years old, 5 years older than I. My best friend, my teacher, my example.....She was in an abusive relationship which could be the cause of her death. So much death this year and recently around me.....her husband died two years prior leaving her with two children......she moved away to New York and got into a new relationship, this man beat her. She would call me crying and depressed about life always saying she was tired of life and wanted to die. Never willing to kill herself, but sad.....The man she was with said he woke up and she was laying there dead next to him.....that's just to hard to believe. This process with the investigation and autopsy is very frustrating. Still after several weeks, no word on how. I am going crazy....Feeling depressed, crying unexpectedly, and now becoming withdrawn at work. Not wanting to really talk to people because conversations seem fake....well it is a corporation. I want to take a break just so I can understand.....but in these times, money making keeps me from that. If only there was a reason to lay my emotions on. My emotions are everywhere. My sister left behind her two children who are now parentless. A son who is 4 and a daughter who is 7. The fear of failing, or letting them down is consuming me. The fear that I have responsibility that I hoped to be for my own children, now only fearing to have children so as to not let them down by dying. I had a strange experience recently. I was in my bathroom and the electrical light above my sink had not been working for several weeks, and in conversation with my sister...of course in my head, I asked her if she was really there, and if she was, and if there is a God, and meaning to this life, to turn the light on. ....I waited for 5 seconds and then figured I was nuts, and said to myself, see there is nothing and I'm just crazy. I went to turn on the faucet to wash my face and then, the light came on. I was scared, and happy, and then full of sadness.......I guess I just am ranting.....it's just some days I don't know how I'm going to make it throughout the day.
Comment by Sandy Knapp on September 13, 2009 at 4:52pm
My sister, Susan, died August 26th after a 2 1/2 year battle with ovarian cancer. She was 10 years younger than I am, the youngest of four children. She was my baby sister. She was the heart and soul of our family. We all loved her so much. I have lost both my parents and my husband, but this is a pain I can barely endure. With time we learn to cope with loss, but I don't think time will dull this pain. I miss her every minute of every day. She was the sweetest, gentlest, kindest, smartest, funniest most loving person I have ever known. We talked every day for years. We cried at times but most of all we laughed. We knew each other like no one else does. We could tell each other anything. We a had history only close siblings can have. She was a loving daughter, a wonderful sister, loving wife and the best mother ever. She raised two remarkable young adults. It just seems so unfair. It seems like it should have been me, I am the oldest. When she had a problem from the time she was little, I could usually help in some way, but when she needed my help the most, I couldn't help or fix this. I can't talk to anybody really, because she was my person. I know my brother and sister as well as her husband, children, nieces and nephews are hurting too, so I try to be strong and just cry when I am alone. It did help some to read the comments of other siblings knowing at least I am not alone.
Comment by Jenny Timmons on September 13, 2009 at 12:54am
My name is Jenny. My sister passed away November 10th 2008 from cancer she was 52.I miss her so much. She was given 6 months September 4th 2008. I would talk to her every night, we'd talk for hours I had told her I wanted to come visit her. She lived in Texas, she then explained to me that she wanted me to remember her the last time we were together,which was in January of 2008 when we met in Seatle for a visit with our brother. It was the best time and will never forget, Well she had agreed to let me come see her just to spend time together, I had bought my plane ticket and rented a car for when I got there. Then all of the sudden she just stop talking to me. I would call and I would get the answering machine, this went on for about a week when I got intouch with her room mate who then told me that Linda was getting worse. I told her that my flight was in two days. She then told me to hurry she was not sure how much longer it would be. I told her to tell her I was coming, well I went to work the next morning and within an hour I received a call telling me she passed away. I was so angry I never got to say how much I love her or say good bye. I feel empty inside. She just left me, no more calls no more I love you. I don't understand why she left me.
Comment by Danielle Crawn on September 12, 2009 at 7:25am
My name is Danielle Crawn. I lost my brother on June 29th of 2008 to brain cancer. Last night my girlfriend Julie stopped by and I showed her a lot of the pictures and videos of him that I took during his last short six months of life. It was in Dec. of 2007 that he was diagnosed with a glioblastoma. The doctor had told us to take a lot of pictures of him because he wouldn't be around the same time in the following year. So I have around 11 memory cards of pictures and videos that I took of him. I have problems looking at them by myself because it makes me so sad. I do treasure them though. I will someday make a photo album for his children, Josh,13 and his little girl, Marina who is 6. I want them to know that there Daddy loved them with all of his heart and misses them everyday. I talk to a star every night. I think it is the North star, because it is the brightest one in the sky. Thom and I were like peanut butter and Jelly. Iv'e lost my peanut butter and what is one without the other? I will post a picture of Thom and I so that everyone can get a glimpse of his beautiful smile. I know that he is watching over all of us and is not suffering anymore. Rest in peace, Thom missing you, Dani
Comment by dina l davis on September 10, 2009 at 1:33pm
I went to his grave today,the closer that i got to the cemetery the more I felt that suffocation in my chest.I feel for everyone of you who is feeling this pain.May GOD help us through.
Comment by Shannon on September 10, 2009 at 1:17am
in waves. One day I am fine, keeping busy, the next day I am a mess crying my head off! His baby girl just started pre school this week & she says things like, daddy is so proud of me! Or she tells her mama how much she misses daddy. Its that stuff that kills me! He loved her so much! She thinks he is going to come back this winter & build another snow man with her. Gah! I almost cant take it! We all have our pain, but its the legacy they leave behind & the knowledge of knowing that they will forever be our brothers,and sisters that help and nobody will ever take that from us! I talk a lot to him too, as I know darn good & well he can hear me, so when you get really down talk to them! They can hear you! And listen... really listen, because they send us signs all over! Through a weird rainbow, or a funky cloud, they cant sit down next to you & say hey,they can only do what they can do from where they are, so watch & listen. You also now have a guardian angel watching over you! I miss him so much, & still can't believe he is gone! He is the first thing I think about when I wake up & go to bed thinking about. The pain does get easier, but it never really goes away. you just learn to cope. God bless each & everyone of you who is suffering right now. Remember, we all have to go where they are some day, I just wish it hadn't been them first! I do not wish this pain on anyone!
Comment by Shannon on September 10, 2009 at 1:01am
It blows me away how after reading all of everyones post about losing there sibling that we are all going through the same type of emotions! Weather we lost a sibling ten years ago or today, the pain is still real & hard! I lost my little brother on Feb. 24th of this year to a car accident. He had a 5 mo. old baby son, a 3 year old precious daughter who was the light of his life, and a 21 year old son he just got back into contact with after 6 1/2 years of absence! A car load of teenagers had pulled out in front of him on a dark rainy night about a mile from our home. (He lived right next door to me) I was confronted by two state patrolmen, two coroners, and my husbands friend who is a sheriff, and my husband. They told me first because my husband knew I would take it the hardest. I did. He was my best friend as well as my baby brother. we have five older siblings, but he & I were closest. We made the others jealous because we never let them in as much as they wanted. When he died so did a part of me. I have NEVER felt a pain like that in my life!! I vomited, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. All I could do was cry! I had to walk over next door & tell my sister in law as she stood there holding there infant son in her arms. He had just left to go to the store to get taco fixings for them!
Comment by sandy davis on September 8, 2009 at 10:33pm
dina, i was asking the same question not so long ago. i did actually hurt. my legs hurt and tingled, my chest felt horrible. everything just didn't feel right. i felt bad if i ate, i felt bad if i didn't eat. i had trouble sleeping. i didn't get off the couch for two weeks except to go to the bathroom and to bed. i ate very little. but, it finally did ease off. it just really had to if you know what i mean. my brother dided january 22 of this year. i am still having my struggles. sometimes it still doesn't even seem real. i really wish i could tell you things get back to normal but so far they really haven't. but things are better. i subscribed to a daily email about grief, all of the stages, emotions, etc. it is through griefshare website. it is helpful to find out that i am not losing it. some of the things i have experienced were just convincing me i was really unstable. but these emails have validated all of my feelings. i am so sorry you are experiencing this. i never knew this could hurt so bad but it sure as heck does. i am now feeling fears about other people dying. i hope you will seek all the help you may need. try to keep the faith and be as good and understanding of yourself as you can. i guess this will make us stronger but i sure wouldn't have chosen this way for it to happen. good luck to you and i will pray for you. praying has helped me. i am so sorry for your loss. sandy davis
 

Members (644)

 
 
 

Latest Conversations

Tam Edwards is now a member of LegacyConnect
12 hours ago
Barbara Rieger left a comment for Patricia Huett
23 hours ago
Barbara Rieger posted a status
"David that is a nice flower and surprised it's an orchid. It looks light and airy relaxing to look at."
23 hours ago
Barbara Rieger left a comment for elyse
23 hours ago

Community Guidelines

Please be respectful of others. For more information, read our Community Guidelines.

Follow Legacy

© 2018   Created by Legacy.com.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service