LOSS OF A SIBLING SUPPORT GROUP

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LOSS OF A SIBLING  SUPPORT  GROUP

A place for people who are going through loss to support one another .

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I lost my younger brother 4 weeks ago

Started by Jamie Ann. Last reply by Diamond Jun 28. 33 Replies

Almost 3 years

Started by elyse. Last reply by Claretha Rice May 24. 2 Replies

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Comment by Sandy Knapp on September 13, 2009 at 4:52pm
My sister, Susan, died August 26th after a 2 1/2 year battle with ovarian cancer. She was 10 years younger than I am, the youngest of four children. She was my baby sister. She was the heart and soul of our family. We all loved her so much. I have lost both my parents and my husband, but this is a pain I can barely endure. With time we learn to cope with loss, but I don't think time will dull this pain. I miss her every minute of every day. She was the sweetest, gentlest, kindest, smartest, funniest most loving person I have ever known. We talked every day for years. We cried at times but most of all we laughed. We knew each other like no one else does. We could tell each other anything. We a had history only close siblings can have. She was a loving daughter, a wonderful sister, loving wife and the best mother ever. She raised two remarkable young adults. It just seems so unfair. It seems like it should have been me, I am the oldest. When she had a problem from the time she was little, I could usually help in some way, but when she needed my help the most, I couldn't help or fix this. I can't talk to anybody really, because she was my person. I know my brother and sister as well as her husband, children, nieces and nephews are hurting too, so I try to be strong and just cry when I am alone. It did help some to read the comments of other siblings knowing at least I am not alone.
Comment by Jenny Timmons on September 13, 2009 at 12:54am
My name is Jenny. My sister passed away November 10th 2008 from cancer she was 52.I miss her so much. She was given 6 months September 4th 2008. I would talk to her every night, we'd talk for hours I had told her I wanted to come visit her. She lived in Texas, she then explained to me that she wanted me to remember her the last time we were together,which was in January of 2008 when we met in Seatle for a visit with our brother. It was the best time and will never forget, Well she had agreed to let me come see her just to spend time together, I had bought my plane ticket and rented a car for when I got there. Then all of the sudden she just stop talking to me. I would call and I would get the answering machine, this went on for about a week when I got intouch with her room mate who then told me that Linda was getting worse. I told her that my flight was in two days. She then told me to hurry she was not sure how much longer it would be. I told her to tell her I was coming, well I went to work the next morning and within an hour I received a call telling me she passed away. I was so angry I never got to say how much I love her or say good bye. I feel empty inside. She just left me, no more calls no more I love you. I don't understand why she left me.
Comment by Danielle Crawn on September 12, 2009 at 7:25am
My name is Danielle Crawn. I lost my brother on June 29th of 2008 to brain cancer. Last night my girlfriend Julie stopped by and I showed her a lot of the pictures and videos of him that I took during his last short six months of life. It was in Dec. of 2007 that he was diagnosed with a glioblastoma. The doctor had told us to take a lot of pictures of him because he wouldn't be around the same time in the following year. So I have around 11 memory cards of pictures and videos that I took of him. I have problems looking at them by myself because it makes me so sad. I do treasure them though. I will someday make a photo album for his children, Josh,13 and his little girl, Marina who is 6. I want them to know that there Daddy loved them with all of his heart and misses them everyday. I talk to a star every night. I think it is the North star, because it is the brightest one in the sky. Thom and I were like peanut butter and Jelly. Iv'e lost my peanut butter and what is one without the other? I will post a picture of Thom and I so that everyone can get a glimpse of his beautiful smile. I know that he is watching over all of us and is not suffering anymore. Rest in peace, Thom missing you, Dani
Comment by dina l davis on September 10, 2009 at 1:33pm
I went to his grave today,the closer that i got to the cemetery the more I felt that suffocation in my chest.I feel for everyone of you who is feeling this pain.May GOD help us through.
Comment by Shannon on September 10, 2009 at 1:17am
in waves. One day I am fine, keeping busy, the next day I am a mess crying my head off! His baby girl just started pre school this week & she says things like, daddy is so proud of me! Or she tells her mama how much she misses daddy. Its that stuff that kills me! He loved her so much! She thinks he is going to come back this winter & build another snow man with her. Gah! I almost cant take it! We all have our pain, but its the legacy they leave behind & the knowledge of knowing that they will forever be our brothers,and sisters that help and nobody will ever take that from us! I talk a lot to him too, as I know darn good & well he can hear me, so when you get really down talk to them! They can hear you! And listen... really listen, because they send us signs all over! Through a weird rainbow, or a funky cloud, they cant sit down next to you & say hey,they can only do what they can do from where they are, so watch & listen. You also now have a guardian angel watching over you! I miss him so much, & still can't believe he is gone! He is the first thing I think about when I wake up & go to bed thinking about. The pain does get easier, but it never really goes away. you just learn to cope. God bless each & everyone of you who is suffering right now. Remember, we all have to go where they are some day, I just wish it hadn't been them first! I do not wish this pain on anyone!
Comment by Shannon on September 10, 2009 at 1:01am
It blows me away how after reading all of everyones post about losing there sibling that we are all going through the same type of emotions! Weather we lost a sibling ten years ago or today, the pain is still real & hard! I lost my little brother on Feb. 24th of this year to a car accident. He had a 5 mo. old baby son, a 3 year old precious daughter who was the light of his life, and a 21 year old son he just got back into contact with after 6 1/2 years of absence! A car load of teenagers had pulled out in front of him on a dark rainy night about a mile from our home. (He lived right next door to me) I was confronted by two state patrolmen, two coroners, and my husbands friend who is a sheriff, and my husband. They told me first because my husband knew I would take it the hardest. I did. He was my best friend as well as my baby brother. we have five older siblings, but he & I were closest. We made the others jealous because we never let them in as much as they wanted. When he died so did a part of me. I have NEVER felt a pain like that in my life!! I vomited, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. All I could do was cry! I had to walk over next door & tell my sister in law as she stood there holding there infant son in her arms. He had just left to go to the store to get taco fixings for them!
Comment by sandy davis on September 8, 2009 at 10:33pm
dina, i was asking the same question not so long ago. i did actually hurt. my legs hurt and tingled, my chest felt horrible. everything just didn't feel right. i felt bad if i ate, i felt bad if i didn't eat. i had trouble sleeping. i didn't get off the couch for two weeks except to go to the bathroom and to bed. i ate very little. but, it finally did ease off. it just really had to if you know what i mean. my brother dided january 22 of this year. i am still having my struggles. sometimes it still doesn't even seem real. i really wish i could tell you things get back to normal but so far they really haven't. but things are better. i subscribed to a daily email about grief, all of the stages, emotions, etc. it is through griefshare website. it is helpful to find out that i am not losing it. some of the things i have experienced were just convincing me i was really unstable. but these emails have validated all of my feelings. i am so sorry you are experiencing this. i never knew this could hurt so bad but it sure as heck does. i am now feeling fears about other people dying. i hope you will seek all the help you may need. try to keep the faith and be as good and understanding of yourself as you can. i guess this will make us stronger but i sure wouldn't have chosen this way for it to happen. good luck to you and i will pray for you. praying has helped me. i am so sorry for your loss. sandy davis
Comment by dina l davis on September 8, 2009 at 9:28am
it's only been 3 weeks since my wonderful brother died.he suffered a subdural hemotoma.to be honest we all thought he was going to wake up. i guess just trying to get from one day to the next is the big challenge.does the physical pain ever ease up?
Comment by JOANNE B on September 5, 2009 at 8:29am
Husband passed of esphogus and lung and brain cancer 6 months ago just dont know how i can go on without his love and protection...he was such a wonderful husband and father...now i have to move for the house is too much for me to keep up im overwhelmed by all of this change...please help me with support of this .....joanne
Comment by Valerie on August 29, 2009 at 11:19am
It will be two years this Sept. 8th since I lost my brother. We were only four years apart in age, him being the older one. We shared so much from the time we were children and into our adult lives. He never married, never wanted the responsiblities that would come with having a wife and family. I often would tell him that he needed someone to share his life with so that when he got older, there would always be someone to look after him and he'd never be alone. It made no difference so I made the commitment to be that person who would look after him and see that he was never alone. After he suffered a stroke back in July of 2006, his life was made harder and for a month, I had him come and live with me and my husband so I could take care of him. After the stroke, he stopped driving so again, I would go and take him to run errands or go with him to his doctor appointments. When on Sept. 6, 2007, I couldn't reach him by phone, I knew something was wrong and my husband and I drove into his home to check on him finding him unresponsive on the living room floor. I rushed to the phone, dailed 911 and informed the dispatch woman that I thought my brother had suffered another stroke and he was not responding to me. My brother was taken to St. Marks Hospital and for 2 days I and myself and a cousin sat and watched over my brother making sure he was never alone. When he finally passed on the morning of Sept. 8, 2007, my heart was broken for I not only lost my brother but a friend and confidant as we could talk about anything and everything and did. We enjoyed a good cheeseburger at Crown Burger, good seafood at Red Lobster. A few good M&M's, any kind of chocolate would do along with a diet coke for him and a cherry one for me. We often would be seen eating at the Sizzler in Sugarhouse and then to the park to feed the ducks and geese. What great memories but how do I stop thinking of him and feeling the loss? I cry everyday thinking of him along with the loss of my parents as well. I feel a piece of me was lost the day my brother died and even more so the day I buried him. Thank you all for taking time to read my comment. May the Lord bless each one of you as you deal with your losses.
Valerie
 

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