LOSS OF A SIBLING SUPPORT GROUP

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LOSS OF A SIBLING  SUPPORT  GROUP

A place for people who are going through loss to support one another .

Members: 643
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I lost my younger brother 4 weeks ago

Started by Jamie Ann. Last reply by Diamond Jun 28. 33 Replies

Almost 3 years

Started by elyse. Last reply by Claretha Rice May 24. 2 Replies

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Comment by Danielle Crawn on September 12, 2009 at 7:25am
My name is Danielle Crawn. I lost my brother on June 29th of 2008 to brain cancer. Last night my girlfriend Julie stopped by and I showed her a lot of the pictures and videos of him that I took during his last short six months of life. It was in Dec. of 2007 that he was diagnosed with a glioblastoma. The doctor had told us to take a lot of pictures of him because he wouldn't be around the same time in the following year. So I have around 11 memory cards of pictures and videos that I took of him. I have problems looking at them by myself because it makes me so sad. I do treasure them though. I will someday make a photo album for his children, Josh,13 and his little girl, Marina who is 6. I want them to know that there Daddy loved them with all of his heart and misses them everyday. I talk to a star every night. I think it is the North star, because it is the brightest one in the sky. Thom and I were like peanut butter and Jelly. Iv'e lost my peanut butter and what is one without the other? I will post a picture of Thom and I so that everyone can get a glimpse of his beautiful smile. I know that he is watching over all of us and is not suffering anymore. Rest in peace, Thom missing you, Dani
Comment by dina l davis on September 10, 2009 at 1:33pm
I went to his grave today,the closer that i got to the cemetery the more I felt that suffocation in my chest.I feel for everyone of you who is feeling this pain.May GOD help us through.
Comment by Shannon on September 10, 2009 at 1:17am
in waves. One day I am fine, keeping busy, the next day I am a mess crying my head off! His baby girl just started pre school this week & she says things like, daddy is so proud of me! Or she tells her mama how much she misses daddy. Its that stuff that kills me! He loved her so much! She thinks he is going to come back this winter & build another snow man with her. Gah! I almost cant take it! We all have our pain, but its the legacy they leave behind & the knowledge of knowing that they will forever be our brothers,and sisters that help and nobody will ever take that from us! I talk a lot to him too, as I know darn good & well he can hear me, so when you get really down talk to them! They can hear you! And listen... really listen, because they send us signs all over! Through a weird rainbow, or a funky cloud, they cant sit down next to you & say hey,they can only do what they can do from where they are, so watch & listen. You also now have a guardian angel watching over you! I miss him so much, & still can't believe he is gone! He is the first thing I think about when I wake up & go to bed thinking about. The pain does get easier, but it never really goes away. you just learn to cope. God bless each & everyone of you who is suffering right now. Remember, we all have to go where they are some day, I just wish it hadn't been them first! I do not wish this pain on anyone!
Comment by Shannon on September 10, 2009 at 1:01am
It blows me away how after reading all of everyones post about losing there sibling that we are all going through the same type of emotions! Weather we lost a sibling ten years ago or today, the pain is still real & hard! I lost my little brother on Feb. 24th of this year to a car accident. He had a 5 mo. old baby son, a 3 year old precious daughter who was the light of his life, and a 21 year old son he just got back into contact with after 6 1/2 years of absence! A car load of teenagers had pulled out in front of him on a dark rainy night about a mile from our home. (He lived right next door to me) I was confronted by two state patrolmen, two coroners, and my husbands friend who is a sheriff, and my husband. They told me first because my husband knew I would take it the hardest. I did. He was my best friend as well as my baby brother. we have five older siblings, but he & I were closest. We made the others jealous because we never let them in as much as they wanted. When he died so did a part of me. I have NEVER felt a pain like that in my life!! I vomited, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. All I could do was cry! I had to walk over next door & tell my sister in law as she stood there holding there infant son in her arms. He had just left to go to the store to get taco fixings for them!
Comment by sandy davis on September 8, 2009 at 10:33pm
dina, i was asking the same question not so long ago. i did actually hurt. my legs hurt and tingled, my chest felt horrible. everything just didn't feel right. i felt bad if i ate, i felt bad if i didn't eat. i had trouble sleeping. i didn't get off the couch for two weeks except to go to the bathroom and to bed. i ate very little. but, it finally did ease off. it just really had to if you know what i mean. my brother dided january 22 of this year. i am still having my struggles. sometimes it still doesn't even seem real. i really wish i could tell you things get back to normal but so far they really haven't. but things are better. i subscribed to a daily email about grief, all of the stages, emotions, etc. it is through griefshare website. it is helpful to find out that i am not losing it. some of the things i have experienced were just convincing me i was really unstable. but these emails have validated all of my feelings. i am so sorry you are experiencing this. i never knew this could hurt so bad but it sure as heck does. i am now feeling fears about other people dying. i hope you will seek all the help you may need. try to keep the faith and be as good and understanding of yourself as you can. i guess this will make us stronger but i sure wouldn't have chosen this way for it to happen. good luck to you and i will pray for you. praying has helped me. i am so sorry for your loss. sandy davis
Comment by dina l davis on September 8, 2009 at 9:28am
it's only been 3 weeks since my wonderful brother died.he suffered a subdural hemotoma.to be honest we all thought he was going to wake up. i guess just trying to get from one day to the next is the big challenge.does the physical pain ever ease up?
Comment by JOANNE B on September 5, 2009 at 8:29am
Husband passed of esphogus and lung and brain cancer 6 months ago just dont know how i can go on without his love and protection...he was such a wonderful husband and father...now i have to move for the house is too much for me to keep up im overwhelmed by all of this change...please help me with support of this .....joanne
Comment by Valerie on August 29, 2009 at 11:19am
It will be two years this Sept. 8th since I lost my brother. We were only four years apart in age, him being the older one. We shared so much from the time we were children and into our adult lives. He never married, never wanted the responsiblities that would come with having a wife and family. I often would tell him that he needed someone to share his life with so that when he got older, there would always be someone to look after him and he'd never be alone. It made no difference so I made the commitment to be that person who would look after him and see that he was never alone. After he suffered a stroke back in July of 2006, his life was made harder and for a month, I had him come and live with me and my husband so I could take care of him. After the stroke, he stopped driving so again, I would go and take him to run errands or go with him to his doctor appointments. When on Sept. 6, 2007, I couldn't reach him by phone, I knew something was wrong and my husband and I drove into his home to check on him finding him unresponsive on the living room floor. I rushed to the phone, dailed 911 and informed the dispatch woman that I thought my brother had suffered another stroke and he was not responding to me. My brother was taken to St. Marks Hospital and for 2 days I and myself and a cousin sat and watched over my brother making sure he was never alone. When he finally passed on the morning of Sept. 8, 2007, my heart was broken for I not only lost my brother but a friend and confidant as we could talk about anything and everything and did. We enjoyed a good cheeseburger at Crown Burger, good seafood at Red Lobster. A few good M&M's, any kind of chocolate would do along with a diet coke for him and a cherry one for me. We often would be seen eating at the Sizzler in Sugarhouse and then to the park to feed the ducks and geese. What great memories but how do I stop thinking of him and feeling the loss? I cry everyday thinking of him along with the loss of my parents as well. I feel a piece of me was lost the day my brother died and even more so the day I buried him. Thank you all for taking time to read my comment. May the Lord bless each one of you as you deal with your losses.
Valerie
Comment by pam on August 26, 2009 at 8:53pm
It has been a little over a year since I lost my only sibling, my younger sister from a drug overdose. She was 48. I am still angry with her, but more angry with the system that failed her.
Granted, she was an adult who knew what she was doing, at least that is what she made us think. Since MJ died and all the hoopla that surrounds celebrity deaths, I am more angry. While his death was investigated, my sister was just another toe tag in the morgue from an accidental drug overdose. No one investigated her doctors or pharmacies as I had suggested to the police. She was playing the same game, multiple doctors and pharmacies, overseas drug buying. One of her enabling doctors even had the nerve to pay a condolence call. I wanted to kill him. Instead of putting her in rehab, he just continued to write prescriptions.
In this capitalistic society, money can buy immoral and unethical behavior even from medical professionals whose oath is "first do no harm". I hope one day to forgive her for leaving my elderly parents in such shock and grief, and for my two adult children who lost their only aunt.
Comment by maria Gikas on August 26, 2009 at 7:23am
Hi There,
Today marks 1 year 2months since i lost my amazing brother Tone. He was 31years old and was the most amazing brother and friend to me. I miss him so much that the weight of my loss is deep in my heart,that sometimes it makes it hard to breath. He was trying to call me when his heart gave up and their was just silence on the other end of the phone . Until the unforgettable scream from my mum (The death scream). I never got a chance to tell him he was amazing and he meant so much to me. This I will regret for as long as i am living. My life since then has been as i call it the land of the living dead. I can only feel the pain that you all have experienced as it can only be felt from people who have had a loss. My kids and my husband keep my going and make me get through each day as it comes. I have tried to spend time with his friends who were amazing the first year but realise that life keeps going, makes me sad. How can Tone not be here and life goes on around me. Please tell me how what can help me get out of the darkness!
When i listen to people around me with there petty arguments , I wonder how they think the stupidest little things can mean so much to them. All I Say is enjoy the people close to you while their here. Life as I have found out the hard way is so short.
Thanks from Maria (Mazza)
 

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