LOSS OF A SIBLING SUPPORT GROUP

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LOSS OF A SIBLING  SUPPORT  GROUP

A place for people who are going through loss to support one another .

Members: 641
Latest Conversations: on Wednesday

Discussion Forum

Almost 3 years

Started by elyse. Last reply by Claretha Rice on Wednesday. 2 Replies

My Past,Present and Future without my Sibling

Started by elyse. Last reply by Melinda CANDACE Guinn May 4. 6 Replies

Life goes on,but does it.....

Started by elyse. Last reply by Karen Liller Mar 31. 7 Replies

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Comment by Shannon on September 10, 2009 at 1:01am
It blows me away how after reading all of everyones post about losing there sibling that we are all going through the same type of emotions! Weather we lost a sibling ten years ago or today, the pain is still real & hard! I lost my little brother on Feb. 24th of this year to a car accident. He had a 5 mo. old baby son, a 3 year old precious daughter who was the light of his life, and a 21 year old son he just got back into contact with after 6 1/2 years of absence! A car load of teenagers had pulled out in front of him on a dark rainy night about a mile from our home. (He lived right next door to me) I was confronted by two state patrolmen, two coroners, and my husbands friend who is a sheriff, and my husband. They told me first because my husband knew I would take it the hardest. I did. He was my best friend as well as my baby brother. we have five older siblings, but he & I were closest. We made the others jealous because we never let them in as much as they wanted. When he died so did a part of me. I have NEVER felt a pain like that in my life!! I vomited, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. All I could do was cry! I had to walk over next door & tell my sister in law as she stood there holding there infant son in her arms. He had just left to go to the store to get taco fixings for them!
Comment by sandy davis on September 8, 2009 at 10:33pm
dina, i was asking the same question not so long ago. i did actually hurt. my legs hurt and tingled, my chest felt horrible. everything just didn't feel right. i felt bad if i ate, i felt bad if i didn't eat. i had trouble sleeping. i didn't get off the couch for two weeks except to go to the bathroom and to bed. i ate very little. but, it finally did ease off. it just really had to if you know what i mean. my brother dided january 22 of this year. i am still having my struggles. sometimes it still doesn't even seem real. i really wish i could tell you things get back to normal but so far they really haven't. but things are better. i subscribed to a daily email about grief, all of the stages, emotions, etc. it is through griefshare website. it is helpful to find out that i am not losing it. some of the things i have experienced were just convincing me i was really unstable. but these emails have validated all of my feelings. i am so sorry you are experiencing this. i never knew this could hurt so bad but it sure as heck does. i am now feeling fears about other people dying. i hope you will seek all the help you may need. try to keep the faith and be as good and understanding of yourself as you can. i guess this will make us stronger but i sure wouldn't have chosen this way for it to happen. good luck to you and i will pray for you. praying has helped me. i am so sorry for your loss. sandy davis
Comment by dina l davis on September 8, 2009 at 9:28am
it's only been 3 weeks since my wonderful brother died.he suffered a subdural hemotoma.to be honest we all thought he was going to wake up. i guess just trying to get from one day to the next is the big challenge.does the physical pain ever ease up?
Comment by JOANNE B on September 5, 2009 at 8:29am
Husband passed of esphogus and lung and brain cancer 6 months ago just dont know how i can go on without his love and protection...he was such a wonderful husband and father...now i have to move for the house is too much for me to keep up im overwhelmed by all of this change...please help me with support of this .....joanne
Comment by Valerie on August 29, 2009 at 11:19am
It will be two years this Sept. 8th since I lost my brother. We were only four years apart in age, him being the older one. We shared so much from the time we were children and into our adult lives. He never married, never wanted the responsiblities that would come with having a wife and family. I often would tell him that he needed someone to share his life with so that when he got older, there would always be someone to look after him and he'd never be alone. It made no difference so I made the commitment to be that person who would look after him and see that he was never alone. After he suffered a stroke back in July of 2006, his life was made harder and for a month, I had him come and live with me and my husband so I could take care of him. After the stroke, he stopped driving so again, I would go and take him to run errands or go with him to his doctor appointments. When on Sept. 6, 2007, I couldn't reach him by phone, I knew something was wrong and my husband and I drove into his home to check on him finding him unresponsive on the living room floor. I rushed to the phone, dailed 911 and informed the dispatch woman that I thought my brother had suffered another stroke and he was not responding to me. My brother was taken to St. Marks Hospital and for 2 days I and myself and a cousin sat and watched over my brother making sure he was never alone. When he finally passed on the morning of Sept. 8, 2007, my heart was broken for I not only lost my brother but a friend and confidant as we could talk about anything and everything and did. We enjoyed a good cheeseburger at Crown Burger, good seafood at Red Lobster. A few good M&M's, any kind of chocolate would do along with a diet coke for him and a cherry one for me. We often would be seen eating at the Sizzler in Sugarhouse and then to the park to feed the ducks and geese. What great memories but how do I stop thinking of him and feeling the loss? I cry everyday thinking of him along with the loss of my parents as well. I feel a piece of me was lost the day my brother died and even more so the day I buried him. Thank you all for taking time to read my comment. May the Lord bless each one of you as you deal with your losses.
Valerie
Comment by pam on August 26, 2009 at 8:53pm
It has been a little over a year since I lost my only sibling, my younger sister from a drug overdose. She was 48. I am still angry with her, but more angry with the system that failed her.
Granted, she was an adult who knew what she was doing, at least that is what she made us think. Since MJ died and all the hoopla that surrounds celebrity deaths, I am more angry. While his death was investigated, my sister was just another toe tag in the morgue from an accidental drug overdose. No one investigated her doctors or pharmacies as I had suggested to the police. She was playing the same game, multiple doctors and pharmacies, overseas drug buying. One of her enabling doctors even had the nerve to pay a condolence call. I wanted to kill him. Instead of putting her in rehab, he just continued to write prescriptions.
In this capitalistic society, money can buy immoral and unethical behavior even from medical professionals whose oath is "first do no harm". I hope one day to forgive her for leaving my elderly parents in such shock and grief, and for my two adult children who lost their only aunt.
Comment by maria Gikas on August 26, 2009 at 7:23am
Hi There,
Today marks 1 year 2months since i lost my amazing brother Tone. He was 31years old and was the most amazing brother and friend to me. I miss him so much that the weight of my loss is deep in my heart,that sometimes it makes it hard to breath. He was trying to call me when his heart gave up and their was just silence on the other end of the phone . Until the unforgettable scream from my mum (The death scream). I never got a chance to tell him he was amazing and he meant so much to me. This I will regret for as long as i am living. My life since then has been as i call it the land of the living dead. I can only feel the pain that you all have experienced as it can only be felt from people who have had a loss. My kids and my husband keep my going and make me get through each day as it comes. I have tried to spend time with his friends who were amazing the first year but realise that life keeps going, makes me sad. How can Tone not be here and life goes on around me. Please tell me how what can help me get out of the darkness!
When i listen to people around me with there petty arguments , I wonder how they think the stupidest little things can mean so much to them. All I Say is enjoy the people close to you while their here. Life as I have found out the hard way is so short.
Thanks from Maria (Mazza)
Comment by ashley on August 24, 2009 at 10:30pm
first off im sorry for everyone losses. My names ashley,im 18 and i lost my brother on December 22nd 07' he was 24 when he passed. It's been two years and i still constantly think of him. It get's harder before it gets easier but soon thinking of your lost sibling will be a joyus thing. When i lost my brother i was so lost he was like a male version of me spunky fun always making everyone laugh. I didn't know what to turn to when i was griefing my mother like to talk about him and my father didn't people have different ways of grieving which we need to respect. The one thing that i can honestly came out of this was my relationship with god grew so strong. Praying to him just asking him to lift me up and help me to get through this really helped.So many people that don't like to talk about what happened feel that there alone, i want you to know your not god is always there to hear your and listen. i know i very much felt alone i felt like my mothers and brothers grief was different then mine but we were all connected By my brother mario, I really think this group is great because i didn't know about it when i was going through it but it's always good to know i can recommend it! IF ANYONE EVER NEEDS ADVICE OR JUST A SIMPLE NEED TO SMILE AND IS HAVIN A ROUGH DAY DONT HESITATE TO MESSAGE ME!
Comment by ann estrada on August 20, 2009 at 5:51pm
hi my name is ann.i lost my older brother on march 5th,2009.i had just found him after 10 years.are famliy lost context with him 10 years ago.i found him in december 2009.i got a call from my sister on feb.27th. that he was in the hospitel and to go see him right away.that he was dieding.when i seen him i started crying and fell to my knees.we his siblings had to let him go.he died from a brain steam bleed on march 5th.five months have gone by and i still feel bad about it.can someone tell me when dose it go away.i catch my self crying sometimes.that could of helped him more.you see my brother was homeless.he didn,t want help from no one.not even me his sister.and thats what hurts the most.can anyone help me please.thank you ann.
Comment by KathyM on August 14, 2009 at 11:45pm
I found my one and only younger sister dead on her couch of a heart attack at 43 three years ago. I went for grief counseling with my youngest son as she was his nanny since he was 5. I still cry when I come down the street and my driveway is empty as she was always here when I came home from work. I pray all the time and its my understanding that the grieving process for siblings is approximately more like 4-6 years. Of course somedays are better and some are not. I cry in my sleep and wake up my son with the crying. She was my best friend. I lost my father when I was 14 but that grief was totally different from this. I feel so alone without her. My mother and I are not close and she is severely depressed but wont go for grief counseling. I often wish that I would of had a warning but I did talk to her on the phone a few hours before she died and told her that I loved her and would talk to her in the morning and the coroner said she died in the night. She must of taken a shower as she was sitting on the couch and she looked so peaceful and her hair was so shiny and beautiful. I sometimes feel peace in finding her looking so beautiful yet the trauma at times haunts me. I know that my faith will carry me thru but what a rough road. I will pray for all of those here that have lost thier sibling/siblings.
 

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