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I lost my younger brother 4 weeks ago

Started by Jamie Ann. Last reply by Ewa Toole Feb 5, 2020. 36 Replies

5 yr Anniversary

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Comment by Tammy Egberts on February 5, 2010 at 7:00pm
chrissy, my name is tammy, and i lost my brother over 20 years ago, he was 36 yrs old, and he shot himself. they say that it was an accident, and i believe that...i too was close to my brother, i thought he was my protector, and then he was gone.. there is not a day that goes by that i don't think about him, and you will do the same..he will always be in your heart, and soul...last august, i lost my youngest son, and that pain i can't even describe. i hope your family can get through this horrible loss, and know that the people on legacy care about you.. never stop talking to us because i think in some ways it helps us all...take care, and god bless you tammy E
Comment by Chrissy on February 3, 2010 at 11:05pm
never did i think i would get a broken heart from my brother. he was my best friend the one i truly counted on and trusted. he was taken from this world by his girlfriends sister who my high on meth, heroin, and linthium!! she tried to kill her own sister and my two nephews too. some believe that when victor died his soul/spirit caused the gun to jam so she could not hurt them. i know that if he could of done that then thats exactly what he did. i miss him so much. it was exactly one week before christmas in 2008. the trial started in dec 2009. she recieved life in prison without the possibility of parole. okay so she got what she deserved but were still left without a son, brother, uncle, father...best friend. where is the justice, really? even if she was given the death penalty i still would not be happy because nothing will ever bring back my sweet brother!!! i fell like there is nothing that will ever make me smile again. i am sure you have all heard the statement, time heals all... not true at all. the first year came and went i was in more shock then anything. pretty much after the trial is when i came unglued and have been since. ive gone to counselling and such even got on meds but nothing fills that void. i know that i can not expect anyone to make things better. but ive even lost my fiance who just cant deal with me anymore and told me to "move on" and "get over it". how?? how?? how does one get on with their life after their brothers death? how does one move on??
Comment by Donna S. on January 27, 2010 at 9:16am
I'm all to familiar with the thoughts and feelings of losing a sibling. I loss my brother John on 26 Mar 1988 in a Motor Cycle accident. He wasn't suppose to live to see the age of 5, had open heart surgery and survived, only to lose his life at 33. He left behind one daughter. Then in 1997 I loss my baby sister Cathy at the age of 37 from complications of Lupus, she left behind 4 young children. Both were unexpected, both were unreal and though the years have passed, the pain remains, just not so hurtful. No death, no matter how prepared is easy, my father died in 1994 to Lung Cancer, my mother inn 2002 to Uterine Cancer and I just loss my brother-in-law 3 Sep 09 to Bladder Cancer - this death still hurts. All I can say is allow yourself to feel what it is your feeling. Don't be ashamed if you want to cry into your pillow or for that matter punch it. I was 31 when I experienced my first death, my brother. Now I'm 52 and it doesn't get any easier. I find comfort in my faith, in knowing they are no longer in pain, and I truly believe we will be reunited. I remind myself if it was me, how would I want my loved ones behind to behave. I'd want them to moarn the loss of the physically me, but I'd also want them to celebrate the life I had and the memories that go with them. Life is a gift, enjoy each and every day, moment to the best of your abilities, because tomorrow might not come. Sing as though no one is listening, dance as if no one is watching, laugh loudly, love deeply, smile often, and be kind to each other. Time - to improve my emotions, does lessen the pain, but the loss never goes away, nor does the love of each memory, that remians forever in our hearts. God Bless you all, and remember be happy, cherish your memories.
Comment by Julie Weston on January 26, 2010 at 5:52pm
At 5:46pm on January 26th, 2010, Julie Weston said…
HI Michelle:
I lost my sister on 3/20/09, our mother's Birthday. Your feelings of anger and depression are normal. Being in denial, I believe, is also completely normal. For the first 4 months after my sister was murdered, I still thought she was going to call me. I still listen to some of her saved voice mail messages so that I can hear her voice. Gail left behind a 15 year old son and a 9 year old stepdaughter. I've attempted Group Grief Counseling sessions, but have not gone back after one meeting. People try to tell you that things will get better with time. Unfortunately, I don't feel that way and it seems for me, that things are getting worse. Feel free to comment back to me and I will be glad to respond. Losing a sibling is so hard, but I feel so badly for my parents and can't imagine how they are coping with losing one of their children!

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Comment by Michelle on January 19, 2010 at 10:57am
My name is Michelle and my baby Sister, Mindy passed away on New Year's Eve. This is so hard. She left 13 year old twin girls. My Parents are so sad and I don't know how to help anyone including myself. Right now I feel like it is not true and that I am just making it up in my head for some reason. I also am having periods of anger and depression. I just want to know if what I am feeling is normal or if I am losing my mind? My heart hurts so bad right now and I would give anything to talk to her one more time. She was only 35 years old. She did not deserve this, but again who does??
Comment by Amanda on January 15, 2010 at 10:54am
Hi Everyone,
I am new to this site. My little sister Michelle passed away April 14th, 2009.
Comment by Freddie Reyes on January 13, 2010 at 9:30pm
Missing my sister, Lily Romo,I watched her struggle with her health after her husband Mike past in 2006,she never seemed to get any better.She didnt want me to be upset when the doctors thought she might have cancer.She was in and out of the hospital,she was back in on Dec.5,2009.On Dec.6 the doctor confirmed that she did have cancer.On Dec.8 she passed away.My pain is still so fresh, Im trying to be strong,cuz I know she wouldnt my days to be filled with heartache and tears.Her passing during that time brought back the what I went through in losing my mom on Jan.3 2002.We spoke almost once ,twice or even three times a day and thats what Im missing the most now,the calls I will never receive again.
Comment by HEIDI L. COLE on January 6, 2010 at 6:17pm
Missing my brother so much, stephen was more like a father, best friend and the worlds greatest entertainer, he loved to have parties. Summer was for barbecuing, drinking being together and everyone laughing as he came out with jokes or little funny stories.Winter was great, nobody could light a fire like stephen inside or outside, sitting by the fire and wathcing our kids go sledding down the hill right next to his house was the best. Sometimes i feel like why did i survive breast cancer (double mastectomy) and he didn't . He fought the fight long and hard and if he saw how sad and depressed I was he would be so mad at me. During his last 6 months I was alot of his caregiving and he went through so much, but never complained. His wife was the best and she always let us be with him whenever we wanted to. Stephen and I shared a special bond and he would tell me every day will I see you tommorrow? I always said of course. I am so thankful I was with him till the end, but no human should have to suffer the way he did. They don't let animals suffer but people do, why is that? I've lost my Dad when I was very young I think taht is when stephen took me under his wing, I lost my Mom the same day I delivered my son, Stephen said that was all for a reason. Still have trouble trying to figure that one out, what I have a healthy baby boy and you take my mother away from all of us.........doesn't make any sense does it? missing and loving all of you and wishing we could all be together again............Heidi
Comment by Ruthie A&R/MUA on January 5, 2010 at 10:48pm
Hi to all,

I'm not a stranger to this site. Back in 2002 on Legacy.com, my family and I posted my mom's online Memorial.

This time, it's for my "brother", although we weren't blood related, I always looked up to him as one since age 13 yrs old and on.

He was loved by many and a hero in my eyes.
Steve "Dr. Death" Williams, 3 X Heavyweight Champion in WWE and UWE, played football for Oklahoma university for Coach Barry Switzer and had a very high profile life for years.
Even though we lost contact with one another, "Doc" was diagnosed with throat cancer in 2004 and that was another, the toughest, for him to battle,but he did and he won.
Although, he lost his vocal chords, he still was able to speak and gave many, many inspirational speeches around the world, wrote a book and openly shared his whole life's journey and faith in God.

Doc and I re-connected in 2005. I had colon cancer in 2003 and survived that by the Grace of God, so we supported one another and went right back to being "brother and sister".
We would talk every week, I went with him to some of his speaking engagements, He mentioned me in his book and asked me to write something for him to be put in it. We went to high school gatherings together and at our 30th high school reunion in 2008, he was in Heaven with his mom and his son whom he adored and vice versa.
Doc told me of his throat cancer return in june of 2009 and we prayed together and I believe, if at all possible, grew even closer. He would joke to me about how the chemo was and I'd tell him "if anyone can beat this twice, Doc, it's you!"
It took a huge toll on him this time and even though he'd tell me week after week, that he had a son that needed his dad, so he was gonna beat this and come back and "rock the world again".....I somehow prepared myself for the possibility. How much could one man endure,strong as he was and with so much love for his son, family.
He had a great day with his family on Christmas. Early 12/30/2009 I got the message from his older brother whom just adored Doc, to contact him asap.
Somehow, I knew and indeed, Doc had lost his battle to the cancer earlier that morning.
We both cried together.
We prepare ourselves, but somehow, when it truly comes about, it's a complete shock. A shock to all of his fans, family and friends.
Sometimes, I'm at peace with it knowing that he is no longer suffering. Other times, I cry AND other times I get angry. The grief process has started again and it triggers another loss of another loved one.

Death is a part of life, I get that, but the world is a little less brighter today without Steve "Dr. Death" Williams.

We will all celebrate his life together this week at his home memorial and pray for the family.
Comment by sandy davis on January 4, 2010 at 8:47am
lisa, i am so glad you and your little girl weren't hurt. but i do know what you mean about some event kind of giving you a wake up call to go on about living and working on getting out of the sorrow. but it seems to me that just as quickly as you get the message to go on living and try to find some happiness another event can happen that throws you into loss, grief, and sadness. something makes you want that brother back so bad and then something else makes you know you need to go on with life and try to find some happiness. i really think time will eventually be our friend and ease SOME of the hurt. at least that is what i am counting on. hopefully this will be a good and hopefully peaceful new year for us all. peace. sandy

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