I just recently joined this site after losing my father less than a week ago. My mother died when I was five years old, after battling a rare, misunderstood form of cancer. My father was diagnosed with congestive heart failure about 2 months ago and had been hospitalized. When he was released he began trying to be healthier, and take all of his medications but it was just his time. He collapsed after having a heart attack and was unable to be resuscitated.
After losing my mother so young, it was constant habit for me to imagine what life would be like without my father too. I always made sure to say, "I love you," every time I saw him. Regardless of how I thought it would be, the pain is much worse than I could ever imagine. I can't picture my life without him. The night after he died I had a dream I was talking to him on the phone. The dream felt so real that when I woke up and remembered he was gone, I burst in to tears.
The grief I feel for him is shadowed by the fact that I am now parentless at 22. Although I am independent, I can't help but feel I will need much more guidance in life that I will now never receive. How do I move on from this personal tragedy?