Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Gregorysmom on January 2, 2010 at 11:09pm

I pray that you find closure . My son passed away on Dec 2 and they haven't found a cause as of yet although its only been a few weeks it is really hurting me not to know what killed my child ..
God Bless you Too

Permalink Reply by melissa Jackson altmyer on January 6, 2010 at 3:45pm

Gregorysmom said:

I pray that you find closure . My son passed away on Dec 2 and they haven't found a cause as of yet although its only been a few weeks it is really hurting me not to know what killed my child ..
God Bless you Too

Permalink Reply by melissa Jackson altmyer on January 6, 2010 at 3:56pm

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I feel your pain, and I want to let you know that there are people here who care. I am sure you are still dealing with the first phases of the grieving process. It was very hard on me when my dad passed suddenly on Christmas eve. I felt so lost and a void inside. Remember you are not alone. Do you have a faith or church you attend? Knowing my dad is with heavenly father and Jesus gives me great comfort. I know your son is in a great place right now even though you still want him here. Know that we will see them again. In the meantime I hope you are getting some grief counseling. That helped me immensely. It's ok to feel mad, sad and depressed. I felt all these for months, and still do. Right now take care of yourself, and surround yourself with good friends and family. Talk about your feelings. It's hard not to know how our loved ones died. I still wonder everyday. I will be thinking of you during your difficult time. We will find closure one day. If not in this life, than in the next. God bless you, and may he help you find peace in knowing your son is in a happy place. I am here if you need a friend or to chat.

Your friend, Melissa

Permalink Reply by Shannon on March 30, 2010 at 3:09pm

There are no words for his loss. I haven't been through exactly what you are going through, but I lost my Brother in an accident and never got to say goodbye either. I pray that you find some comfort with the pictures and memories that you have with him. The attachments are beautiful pictures.

God bless.

Permalink Reply by melissa Jackson altmyer on April 21, 2010 at 12:03am

Shannon said:

There are no words for his loss. I haven't been through exactly what you are going through, but I lost my Brother in an accident and never got to say goodbye either. I pray that you find some comfort with the pictures and memories that you have with him. The attachments are beautiful pictures.

God bless.

Permalink Reply by melissa Jackson altmyer on April 21, 2010 at 12:09am

Thank you Shannon. I really appreciate your kind words. It has been over a year now, but life is still tough as I struggle with finding peace. I still miss my dad terribly and think about all the fun things he would be doing with his grandaughter (my two year old). He was so looking forward to meeting her. I know he is watching her from above, but life is still hard without being able to experience the joys of us all being together. I am so sorry to hear about your brother. it is very hard when you can't say goodbye. I still have the last message hhe left me saved on my cell phone. I pray that you will be at peace too.

melissa Jackson altmyer said:

Shannon said:

There are no words for his loss. I haven't been through exactly what you are going through, but I lost my Brother in an accident and never got to say goodbye either. I pray that you find some comfort with the pictures and memories that you have with him. The attachments are beautiful pictures.

God bless.

Permalink Reply by Michelle D on July 12, 2010 at 11:30pm

Melissa, I share in your grief. My Dad went in for a bypass, according to the docs, was a piece of cake. Then, not even 3 days later, he had an aortic dissection and passed away. The grief is overwhelming and I hope u find comfort in his memory....which I am trying to do...

Permalink Reply by Laurie on July 28, 2010 at 4:16pm

Hi there,
I lost my dad a little over a year ago in a helicopter crash. I believe that the grieving for a sudden death is different than losing someone gradually. I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that it actually happened and it still just seems too much most of the time. I have been looking for others who have experienced a sudden and tragic death- to see if they having the same shock process as me?

Permalink Reply by Alexa Riley on October 28, 2010 at 3:55pm

To all that have lost a loved one suddenly, but esp. Laurie -

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad (and all of your losses). I feel all of your heart aches b/c I am going through very similar grief. My dad and 7 year old nephew were killed in a private plane crash on December 7, 2009. We still do not know what exactly happened or why the plane went down suddenly and very fast. My dad was spending the weekend with his beloved grandson (my younger sister's only child) and was flying him back home when the plane went down in a field. Although I know that they are in heaven and didn't suffer any pain (they were killed instantly), I am also still in shock. I am approaching the 1 year anniversary and it's still very hard to wrap my brain around the fact that they are gone. I definitely think when you lose a loved one suddenly and tragically it is totally different than from someone who was ill or a lot older. A loss is a loss, those that are left behind are devastated, but the grief stages are totally different. I just recently started a grief share class at my church and we talked about the 5 tasks of grief. The first one is Accept the fact that our loved one is gone and can't return. I'm struggling with that big time and it's the first one. It's so strange b/c I know I would have talked to them by now - it's been almost 11 months, but I didn't live with either one of them so my every day routine isn't totally different like my mom's is and my sister who lost her child. So I think my shock period is lasting a lot longer than their's. I also dream about my dad almost every night. This just started with in the last few months. Most of the time it's a good dream, but he is always dead in my dream. Sometimes I can talk to him or hug him, but I know he's not alive in my dream. Other times I have nightmares about them in the wreckage or finding out all over again. I do not know the condition of their bodies, just that they were not in viewable condition so for some reason, I think about that a lot. I think it's just knowing all facts about it that I can will give me closure, but I know there are some things I never need to know. Right now I just take it day by day, I pray a lot, and lean on my amazing support system of my wonderful friends and family. It kills me that my dad will never walk me diwn the aisle or hold a grandchild from me, but to have him for 33 years is an amazing blessing and he was the best dad I could ever ask for. I know it will get better one day, but there is an ache in my heart every day and the old normal will never return. I'm trying to create a new normal. Starting with new traditions for the holidays. Anything to get through this first year. Although it has been so hard to loose 2 people in my family at once, I am comforted that my dad escorted my precious nephew in to the gates of heaven.

Anyways, I can relate to what you are all feeling and if you would like to reply, feel free. I pray you are finding comfort in knowing you aren't alone in this grief!

Sincerely,
Alexa

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)

Permalink Reply by Holly R on July 28, 2011 at 3:26am

I lost my daddy to a choking accident of all things. He was able to survive the accident itself but he was left brain dead.

 

I hope you were able to find closure.