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Comment by BONNIE on February 12, 2011 at 6:10pm

The problem with the sudden death is it catches us completely off guard. It is like that show" I didn't know I was pregnant"

I have had several unexpected deaths. The last being my child.

I can remember one where the person had called me and I did not feel like talking because I was upset with them for something.

They died of a heart attack the next morning I thought I should have called back and at least talked to them now it is too late.

I guess the lesson is that in life there is always a chance that today is your last day.

Forgiving others is healthful to yourself and  will leave you with a clear conscience.

I think when someone young dies I have learned that family and friends may have more issues and arguing or tensions going on around the death trying to figure a way it could have been prevented, such as the case with my daughters death and her car breaking down.

I just wonder when the lump in my throat will go away, this feeling of helplessness and loss. How do you get it to go away?

Does anyone know how to get rid of a reoccurring lump in throat?  Would crying help?

Comment by alaine dougherty on April 1, 2010 at 10:37am

my husband of 33 years died suddenly last july. he was incredibly healthy and since he was an organ donor i could not do an autopsy. he was one belt away from being a black belt and we had done ballroom dancing for the last ten years. he did have a heart attack but there was no sign of heart issues before that. he just collasped and died. it has been eight months and i still am waiting for him to come back in the door. i have pictures of him water skiing the morning of the day he died. the one good thing about his death is that he always said when it was his time to go he wanted it to be fast! well it was! i still miss him each and every day.

Comment by shirley zurschmeide on March 31, 2010 at 7:24pm

I got a call one day at work to say my son Scott was being taken to the hospital he was hurt at work. When I got to the hospital he girlfriend who worked with him was waiting outside for me. When we went in they should us to a private room, we waited and when the doctor came he said Scott was gone, he had been elecucated. When I saw my son laying lifeless on the bed, it was unbearable the worst thing that could happen happened to me, my family. The next few days were horrible. To lose Scott I losed my first born son who was 37, I had been 17 when I gave birth to him so we grew up together. We went thru a lot of changes together. Now my family is torn apart. My other two sons has changed for the worst, I'm no longer close to them. I always cry for Scott and I say to him save a place for me because this is where I want to be with Scott. We always hugged and kissed hello and good bye. He was always there for me and I for him. I miss you Scott.
Mom

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