JUANITA MY FRIEND; I'M LEARNING THERE ARE A LOT OF US MOMS WHO KNO WHAT YOU ARE FEELING -APPARENTLY YOU HAVE LOST A SON TO SUICIDE , THERE'S NOTHING ON EARTH ANY MORE PAINFUL W/ NO REMEDY BUT LEANING HEAVILY ON THE LORD & IT EVEN SEEMS LIKE HE IS NOT THERE EITHER - BUT AS A BELIEVER I KNO THAT HE IS NEAR- I'M JUST TOO MUCH IN MISERABLE PAIN THAT I CANNOT FEEL ANYTHING ELSE !! IT HAS BEEN 4 MOS SINCE I LOST MY RYAN & THE AGONY I & MY FAMILY HAVE SUFFERED IS WAY BEYOND WORDS TO EXPRESS.IT'S NORMAL TO FEEL ANGER, GROPING FOR RELIEF YOU CANNOT FIND, HARD TO EAT, BREATHE, TO FUNCTION AT ALL - BUT THERE'S NO WAY TO CHANGE THINGS . YOU ASK YOURSELF MANY QUESTIONS - OVER & OVER BUT STILL NO ANSWERS- ONLY ASSUMPTIONS THAT NEVER SATISFIES.HOW CAN HE DO THIS TO HIS LITTLE CHILDREN?, TO US- HIS MOM & DAD?, ALL HIS SIBLINGS ? WE'RE ALL IN SOOOO MUCH PAIN SORROW W/LOSING HIM FROM OUR LIVES FOREVER !!.. BUT I KNO HE WAS HURTING BAD INSIDE & WE COULD NOT SEEM TO HELP HIM -& HE DONE WHAT SEEMED TO HIM THE ONLY WAY OUT !! IT SEEMS TO HELP ME TO WRITE IT DOWN & CRY A LOTTTTT!!!AS EACH DAY PASSES IT GETS A LITTLE BIT EASIER , BUT NEVER GOES AWAY ! THIS IS A WAY TO RELIEVE YOUR HEART A LITTLE - SHARING YOUR STORY W/ OTHERS GOING THRU THE SAME PAIN. GOD BLESS YOU & GIVE YOU SOME MEASURE OF PEACE IS MY PRAYER FOR YOU AS WELL AS ALL OF US !!

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Replies to This Discussion

Juanita ;This is Del Rogers-I responded to your comment "-MY SON - I'm not mad just hurt" but I posted it under the wrong topic,so you may not found it yet -it is above this reply-I hope-.
I pray that you feel a little better today - but you can expect it to happen very slowly , just a tiny bit at a time, but that does not stop your tears- just eases the tormenting pain a little bit at a time.I cry out to GOD A LOTTT, ASKING HIM TO GIVE ME PEACE & HE HAS HELPED ME A LOT TOO.I have cried going thru every little routine part of my life, even going thru the grocery store & wallmart, so hard I could not even see .In the shower, on the toilet, doing dishes- cooking meals, brushing my teeth even, going to sleep & soon as I open my eyes mornings. It has been 4 MONTHS NOW & SOME DAYS ARE STILL BAD,BUT IT IS GETTING A LITTLE EASIER .I thank GOD for that because I have been a total wreck! I have an older brother that lost his oldest adult son bk in abt march- 2009, & also an older sister who lost her youngest adult son in April 2009 , & then I lost my 31 yr.old son to suicide August 26/2009- ALL OF THEM UNDER 45 YRS OF AGE!.We are each in so much grief for our own son's that we are no help to each other! My brother is in another state .About 42 days ago- in Dec/2009 a younger sister suffered a real bad stroke but is slowly recuperating It has been a really difficult year for our family, but my son was the only suicide, but the grief is the same pain .I'm praying for all parents that have lost a child- my heart bleeds for all of you out there . I'm finding out there are more suicides than I ever imagined !GOD- PLEASE GIVE ALL US GRIEVING PARENTS PEACE OF MIND & HEAL OUR BROKEN HEARTS- SO WE CAN GO ON WITH OUR LIVES W/OUT SUCH PAIN - THANK YOU DEAR LORD !!!

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