On July 15, 2005 my sister-in-law took her life. She was a great friend to me. She was with me during the birth if our first son. We had both our kids together. I miss her so much. Her own daughter is now going to have a baby. I had a shower for her yesterday. It was so overwelming for me at times. I was in a fowl mood all last week. Although I know Teisha was very sick, I just felt so angry that she was missing this. I feel angry that my niece doesn't have her mother here for this wonderful time in her life. I know Teisha would be so happy and proud of this new grandbaby. She was such a caring and giving person. When I try to talk to other family members, all I get is well, you're not the only one. I know I'm not the only one having a hard time. I have no one to talk to and I feel like I'm going to explode sometimes. I hold it in a lot. I've been told so much that crying shows weakness. I don't want to be weak. I think of her every single day but I don't say her name because even saying her name in my head makes me start to cry. Now, i've recently started having some blood pressure problems. Could the bottling up be causing the problem. I've never had an issue with it before. Anyway, I was glad to find this site and maybe it will help. Thanks

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It doesn't matter how long it's been. Our beloved son, Michael, died seven weeks ago. It is like yesterday; it is like right now. Sometimes I can't breathe. I am now working with a grief counselor who specializes in suicide and also I have found a Compassionate Friends support group in my area - I suggest both to you even now. I cry many times every day. I hate going out in public. I can't function well. Take care of yourself - when everyone in the family is hurting - like in mine - we can't be there for each other - someone else outside the family - must hold us up and together. So many friends have done that for us because we can't do it for ourselves. Even though my husband and I love each other deeply and our other children, each one's pain is sometimes just too much. Come to this site - it helps too. Love and prayers, Carla
YES GRIEF CAN CAUSE YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE TO GO UP - MY DR TOLD ME THAT TODAY !! MY SON SHOT HIMSELF NEARLY 6 MOS AGO & IT IS STILL SO VERY DIFFICULT TO CARRY ON W/OUT HIM IN MY LIFE . MY BLOOD PRESSURE HAS BEEN WORSE EVER SINCE HE PASSED AWAY .AND ANYONE TELLING YOU THAT CRYING IS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS WHO CARES- THEY CANNOT POSSIBLY KNOW WHAT PAIN YOU ARE SUFFERING ! THE LOSS OF A DEAR LOVED ONE IS SUCH PAIN YOU CANNOT DESCRIBE IT & EVERY ONE WON'T GRIEVE THE SAME WAY !! SO DON'T LET OTHERS UPSET YOU - YOU ARE PROBABLY A VERY DEVOTED & CARING PERSON & THAT IS SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF !!! I LOST A DEAR SISTERINLAW SEVERAL YRS AGO TOO - I STILL MISS HER !! ...GOD BLESS YOU !!!
Carla, thank you so much for
your words of encouragement. I am so sorry for
the loss of your son. I did end up speaking to someone who knows me fairly well. She brought some things to my attention that really
made me think. 2 years ago our house burnt to the ground. Luckily my husband and I got out okay and our sons were not home. She thought that with the anniversary of that loss and with everything else going on it just got to be
to much at one time. Maybe she was right. All I know is she hugged me and let me cry and I feel so much better now. I'm so glad I found this board. Thank you.

Carla said:
It doesn't matter how long it's been. Our beloved son, Michael, died seven weeks ago. It is like yesterday; it is like right now. Sometimes I can't breathe. I am now working with a grief counselor who specializes in suicide and also I have found a Compassionate Friends support group in my area - I suggest both to you even now. I cry many times every day. I hate going out in public. I can't function well. Take care of yourself - when everyone in the family is hurting - like in mine - we can't be there for each other - someone else outside the family - must hold us up and together. So many friends have done that for us because we can't do it for ourselves. Even though my husband and I love each other deeply and our other children, each one's pain is sometimes just too much. Come to this site - it helps too. Love and prayers, Carla

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