Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by SUE on February 13, 2010 at 8:16pm

((Gill)),
Im very sorry about your loss. 22 is terribly young and I cant imagine "what finding him " would be like. I can only offer you this. As apart of a couple of suicide forms I hear that that image will soften in time and is hopefully replaced by nicer ones. I can tell you that you will survive altho as you already know, you are forever changed by this. It is my belief that your son and many others have lost their lives due to depression. It is a true illness. I do not believe they were of their right mind and therefor could not fully comprehend their actions nor could they see the pain that it would cause. You are not at fault here, as hard as that is to believe. I know the loss but not that of my child, I can only imagine your heartbreak. Please be gentle with yourself especially now. Hope you have lots of support at home, this is the time to lean on others including us here.
Thinking of you ..Let me say welcome with a heavy heart.
Sue

Permalink Reply by G on February 13, 2010 at 9:02pm

Dear Gill,

I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you must feel. Your son was so young. I joined this support group today because a friend of mine hanged herself yesterday. Her neighbor found her. She has two beautiful children, 6 and 10 years old. Her actions, like your son's, were out of the blue. There weren't any warning signs. I wish she would have asked for help. Heaven knows that there are many people who love her, and wanted to help her. Please know that the best way to get over your son's suicide is to reach out to people who are considering suicide. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

G

Permalink Reply by SUE on February 13, 2010 at 9:56pm

G
" know that the best way to get over your son's suicide is to reach out to people who are considering suicide. "

Im sorry G but I dont believe that this is the best way. Trying to come to terms with the most horrific event in your own life, is burden enough but adding the sense of responsibilty in trying to prevent another such loss is just too much to add to a fragile state.Especially in the beginning. You have to start with yourself...and please be gentle with you.
Sue

Permalink Reply by NurseNan on February 14, 2010 at 2:29pm

I wish I could take your pain and cast it away. I could not imagine your loss. I will remember you when I pray. I wish we could understand why this happens and have all our questions answered. The not knowing is so difficult. When I lost my Daddy to suicide it killed something inside of me. I hope and pray that I never have to face this again in my life. Take care of yourself and know that people care about you.

Permalink Reply by SUE on February 15, 2010 at 4:46pm

Katy,
I love that name. Im very sorry for the loss of your brother. I lost mine too. Its a very special relationship we have as sisters, altho I was probably more mom than sister to my brother. I wanted to tell you that I know these days ahead will be very hard but know you will get through this. Im hoping the good memories far out way the bad. I created a memorial of sorts about my brothers life and found that helped. I cried doing it but in the end it felt like I accomplished something good. I also stepped in and tried to do double duty covering for the things my brother would normally do. Its alot, please take time for "you" too. Im sure Im much older and its a real blessing for your mom to have you just be there for her. I just wanted you to know I understand and its ok not to be all for all on somedays too.
Sue

Katy said:

Mum, I don't think the pain will ever go away, but I think it will get easier to bear. Every now and then, I have a day where it is easier. The day after that always seems harder, but those few days where it is easier give me hope. I love you so much...you are an amazing, brave, courageous, loving, and generous mother. I couldn't ask for better. We will get through this. love you, K

Permalink Reply by Yvonne Hess on February 15, 2010 at 6:43pm

Gill..

I lost my brother 2 years ago after a long illness with a gun shot to his chest. So very painful, right after putting up the Christmas tree Thanksgiving. The pain is getting a little better we were very close me 56 and he was 49. We talked or saw each other almost every day. The pain is the worst when I think about the sad things he went thru before he died. So I try to think about our good times together when the saddness hits. The bible teaches us there is a time to morn so you need to give yourself plenty of time to do this. It can take 5 years, but it can get better. I believe that only God can judge the heart of man and that our loved ones are with him. He understand the spirit things that we don't. Your in my thoughts and prayers.

Yvonne

Permalink Reply by barbara on February 15, 2010 at 8:34pm

I know how you feel. My son, 21, hung himself 9months ago, on Mothers Day.. Everyday is a nightmare. I just want him back. i love him so much. When will this pain ever go? I have cried every day since he died. I wish he had known how much I loved him. Im so, so sorry for all you who are going through the same as I am...

Permalink Reply by Gill on February 16, 2010 at 3:15pm

I am so sorry for you, there is no way anybody can know how we feel unless they go through it and I would not wish this on anybody. Life, indeed is a nightmare and I feel there is no way out of this heartache. I feel broken in two, I have 2 other children and I love them more than anybody could, but my mind is constantly filled with the one that is gone.

barbara said:

I know how you feel. My son, 21, hung himself 9months ago, on Mothers Day.. Everyday is a nightmare. I just want him back. i love him so much. When will this pain ever go? I have cried every day since he died. I wish he had known how much I loved him. Im so, so sorry for all you who are going through the same as I am...