I just got home from my grandmas house, but I didn't get a chance to talk to her about this because a few of my cousins came over to hang out (im really tight-knit with my cousins lol) and staying over with me so there were several people over and I didn't get to talk to her alone.... Kinda POed about it but whatever....
I really don't want to talk to my mom about this. If I went to the hospital with my friend and talked to a social worker, couldn't I just tell him/her that I came there first cause I'm too nervous to talk to my mom? I really don't want to talk to her about this alone and I think it might help if I can go to a social worker and have him/her talk to her for me... idk.
To the people asking about Eric- I didn't talk about him much in this post but I did in two others. He was a friend of mine who commited suicide in December of 2008. I was already depressed and suicidal back then, but since his death it's just gotten a lot worse and now that I'm getitng older and more mature I'm starting to notice little things in my life that aren't right and things I want to fix but I jsut don't know how. Belugh.
Thanks everyone for the wonderful advice :-)
I talked to my mom last night and I can't say I've ever felt more hatred for her then right now.
All she did was give me f*cking prayer books, told me to try harder on my own to get better, and that she won't get me professional help unless she can find a "good, Catholic theripist". I've never heard something so comformist. I hate comforists so much and now my mom is acting like one, saying I shouldn't get self help books from the libary, talk to people online or talk to my best friend about this because they aren't Catholic and can't give good advice. F*CK IT. And f*ck her. If she can't find her "good, Catholic" thereipist within a month, I'm having Dan drive me to the hospital. She didn't try to help at all. She just told me what she thinks I needed to hear, and that was to "get better on my own" I told her I HAVE been trying to get better on my own... FOR YEARS and she said "Well it can't be that bad because this is the first time you've talked to me about it" and I said "Maybe I HAVE been trying to talk to you".... She just doesn't get it. She said I should have talked to her and I reminded her that every time I acted depressed around her, she would literally YELL at me and she said "Whatever!".
I can't thank you enough. Normally, I'm the one giving people advice. My friends (more like acquaintances) call me The Wise Owl and Doctor Liz lol. Just last night I was helping a friend with some problems he was facing via facebook comments, and he said "The wise owl has spoken!" lol. But when it comes to my own problems, I just don't know what to do. I've talked dozens of people out of commiting suicide, but I can't talk myself out of it. You've really helped a lot. Thanks.
I would like to get professional help from someone who shares my beliefs, but the thing is, my mom is an extremist. I highly doubt that she's going to find a theripist who she "approves" of.